So much…
So much is left to the imagination… to the individual imagination… to the individual creative mind to construct… So much is left unsaid, undone, unwritten… Sew much is desired to be and left to the will of the four winds… So much of life is as it should be and so much is off center for the lack of restraint… One always wishes to control another… there is fear in another being ahead… the leader wishes to restrict others from reaching his place… So much of what is happening is due to basic human nature…

A bit of the blues plays and I am inspired to listen to what the words are saying… I enjoy the ritual of listening and smiling at the expressions and finding a place for them in my life yet I donut take them to heart as some do… The words speak to me of experiences the artist has but they are not my experiences and there fore it entertains me and releases inside me the emotions that go along with that… I can listen to what they are saying… and enjoy the ride…

My dreams have been filled… I have done much of what I was destined to do… that may seem funny… strange to say… there is more if I choose to allow the hand of fate once more to influence me… My place is some what on the fringes of reality… It is a touch a prod a guiding hand… from a far off place on the shoulders of others… It is knot my place to be but to be separate… to step back away from another’s reality and to play with it in a humorous way… I had my opportunity and I chose poorly… and I chose wonderfully… and created a fantasy life that is endless… It is time to choose a way once more… a new pattern to the future… I am looking once more for a miracle… and I know I will find it…

So much of life is worthy of our smiles and our laughter… So much is waiting for our time to call attention to the wonders that men do… Life is a balance of what is and what is not… The imagination runs wild in all directions at once… reaching out to the farthest reaches… smacking head long into the so called limitations of reality and challenging that reality to go further and further still…

One cannot be other then who they are… One cannot change the elements of their soul… one can only be true to themselves by being true to their own destiny… Listen to the call of your heart… step aside and allow fate and destiny to lead you a bit… when we stop we can hear the call… we can hear the wonders of life… and respond to them…

Do you hear the music of the day playing about you or are you deaf to her chords? Can we hear the sounds of nature playing about us? So much is missed in our haste to get from here to there… So much is stepped over in the race to get ahead of the next one… Can you hear the music of the night as well? Can you check into the sounds of life and move with it adding your own unique notes to the symphony? I wonder a lot about the need to be a part of something as magical as this…

Missing a few days
I have missed a few daze recently to go on alternate adventures of the mind… I have stepped off a particular path to enjoy other paths… The routine of writing the way I write requires a desire to place on paper all my thoughts in no particular order… Listen to the words as they lift themselves off the page and dance magically before your eyes now the musical notes add to the flavor of the fantasy… I have missed a few daze and left a note or tow to wander about aimlessly in the hope that they will touch ground and take root… Cultivate the mind with good seeds and the garden will grow diverse and colorful…

It is natural to want to step away from the routine of the day and to create another pattern one less direct… one with more flexibility… In all things… once the pattern is set the imagination begins to wander… wishing to improve on the vehicle that has gotten us to this point… I have missed a few days and now I am back… wishing I was some where other then here… Time to go forward… to retreat to the future… to find another place to play…

Expectations…
It is interesting how one will rise and fall to the expectations placed upon them… I have fallen prey to that particular roller coaster a number of times… We get what we expect to get… As we search and that is what we do each day we will look for what we expect and when we find it be satisfied that we have found what we are looking for… If you expect to find evil in the world you will… If you expect to find delight you will find that… It is as we see it… How we filter out the activities of the world… and reveal what we are searching for… All of what we have now always existed yet we are still discovering ways of using these elements better… We have found ways to make the most of what we have by being creative… yet it is that same creativity we fear… Creativity at the cost of the earth… Over time we have modified our creative spirit to take into account the earth that sustains us… I have high expectations for what life holds… for my destiny and my fate… I have even higher expectations for those around me… Yet I am pleased with what ever they achieve… The secret is to provide a platform for success a place where being happy, successful, creative and comfortable is expected… In this type of environment real leaps are made…

I expect to be happy each day so there fore I am… I expect to hear from each and every one… and satisfied with what happens… I am never disappointed in what I receive… I am always delighted in the achieve mints of my family…

Life is not perfect so in those times when less is gained… or as they say shit happens it is important to respond in a manner that creates an expectation that change is required and a deeper focus is required to place the matter back on a more suitable track… Each person will respond to a specific set of stimulus and all means should be employed to achieve the desire reactions…

There are times when the expectations far exceed the ability of the person to obtain them… Or the expectations is based on a fantasy as opposed to fact… At those times it is proper to reset the expectations to a reasonable level that can be accomplished… We all need goals as well as limits set… A place we can feel secure playing in… That is achieved by setting these expectations and guidelines for gaining what we desire…

There are also times when the desire of an individual or group focused together can achieve a higher expectation simply by combining their efforts and focusing their talents together for the good of the group or team… This is why teams of lesser talent that work well together defeat teams of greater individual talent… who are more interested in themselves… The pressure of expectation can have its effects on those who are suppose to be the best… The pressure to achieve that success day after day takes its toll… Better to set the goal as high as it can and keep moving it just slightly out of your reach as you take each step keeping moving the bar further and further along… Life is a long road… a challenging journey full of adventures and explorations… We must expect to be successful, we must expect to be happy, we must expect to find love and friendship in all that we do… At the same time we must balance that we reason and rational thought so that when the outcome is less then our expectation we respond to that and make the necessary corrections to move once more in a more positive direction…

Expect to see smile and you will… Expect to feel the joy of laugher upon your ears and you will… If you expect to experience humor on a daily basis you will… Your expectations for today will be filled… it is in what you are searching for… It is what we are programmed to look for… in is our destiny and our fate handed down to us by our parents and teachers… It is the definition of who we are… and yet we all wish to be more then our expectations… Time to step out of the expectations others had for us and to wear the expectations we wish to wear about us… In that way we fulfill our own destiny…

I expect to have fun today… to smile… to write… to enjoy the time I will spend with my children… while we trip the delights fantastic a bit… talking about life… about what challenges them… I am amused by the thought that life is difficult or hard… Life is what we make of it… If we choose to expect the journey to be a difficult one it will be… If we choose other wise then that dream will be created… Thought itself is a force… a very powerful force… A very creative force…

Interludes…
Spaces in between times… A skip or a stop for a moment to listen, to get back ones legs… By nature interludes are brief and fleeting moments full of smiles and laughter… to be free and for that split second you are… as free as a bird… as free as the air that we breathe in and out of our lungs each day… each night… each breathe is a signal to live… to find another interlude to skip towards… A journey to the other side another place to play… a stoppage of what we are doing so that for a brief time we may do some thing totally different to give us some perspective… a twist in time… an image we wood knot under normal condition render as being real… a wondrous place in time…

Lost a bit…
I am lost… a little out of my area of playing and adrift for a time… I feel I am searching for words to write while I also sense the need to keep on writing more and more… The desire fills me with a drive to get on with it… Almost a compulsion to follow the words back wards inside me to the place they are formed… to locate this treasure chest of magic and open it up fully… Time has stopped… He is standing still with me and waiting… I have a brief time to make up my mind… Interesting degrees of perspective… I am lost for a bit of time in a reality of my own making… It is tiring to sit here and wait for the opportunity… I am falling away wanting desperately to sleep perchance to dream… a little more of her… I am lost in the waves that float over me… on their way to some distant shore… a possibility that I can ride along… I fall behind instantly… repeatedly without effort… It is a losing battle… The water slips past on its magical journey from here to there to nowhere special… I lost a bit of me in there… A bit of my sarcasm… a bit of my humor… a bit of my compassion as well…

I am so very tired of it… of being lost in a sense… I do like the adventure the exploration parts… the fatigue is what I dislike the constant feeling of sleep about to close my eyes and leave me unconscious and in the hands of the spirits of fate and destiny… I am tired of the wait in between words yet I am fully aware of the trials of the others as they move toward their dreams… each of us taking our turns at the wheel… each of us gaining one foot hold and then waiting for the next opportunity that we all can move forward on… It is all of us or none of us and we all know it… the process drags us down deeper and deeper and while we focus we are left unguarded and can fall prey to the darker elements within us… A test of sorts so we may find ourselves amid the rubble of who we used to be… Lost is a good place for in being lost we get to be anybody we wish to be while we search for the somebody we are… Lost I am for I sense the day slipping between my fingers… I am lost in the sun shine… the cool breeze and the prospects for what this evening and night will bring… I can be lost and found at one time in alternative ways… In a moment we shall descend into the realm of the reality of today and do the things necessary to put this one behind us now and move on into the future… I think I lost a bit of my mind… of well never mind…

I was wondering…
I sat and I read of another time… another place and reached out my hand to say well you are knot a lone and was struck by the look of utter contempt… Knot my place I guess to question another’s mind another’s perception of life as they see it… Yet as I sit here and wonder I keep returning to the look… of leave me alone you heart less bugger so that I may suffer in my own solitude… when the eyes say stay but the words say go… a dilemma or enema of the mind shall we say… If I stay and hang out I am at the mercy of not having listened to the words and if I go I am at the mercy of knot listening to the eyes… Sew I was wondering as I sat here writing as to when is enough, enough? When is it time to stop and get off this particular train of thought and onto another one more interesting for the mind to deal with… Emotional roller coasters have never been my favorite ride and this one is rather an odd one for it attempts to throw me off in mid flight and as I hang on and attempt to salvage my sanity I am tossed about endlessly by the ebbs and flows… I was doing a lot of wondering as to where this is going? What illogical steps can we take to head it off at the pass and direct it to a meaning filled wonder? At last I have arrived at the conclusion there is nothing for me to do butt to shut the fuck up… stranger that I am… I will be doing that now…

Going off in all directions…
A slow start to a Monday morning… A bit of every thing all at once to scatter thoughts to the four winds… Some male to answer some words to write that have haunted me all week end and now that the opportunity to place them some where is upon me they disperse into the thinness of the air… All the words that shattered my mind are slipping out now through the cracks in the defenses that I used to have… An open mind is a wondrous invention… an ability to wander aimlessly is another… a dream to float about and be in all places at one time… A wish to be able to travel by thought…

Off now I am to another place in time for to go means to alter my perception of time… to step off a plane after traveling and be at the same time as when you left is a distortion of time… of the place you were is still the same place you were… Only makes sense to the one who designed time… the passing of night into day… a way of keeping track of where we are going… nothing more or less…

I wonder how many others are as nutty as I am… probably more then I wish to know about… I took a few moments today to sit and to be with old friends… to hold them… to journey with them a bit… to just be… There is a certain joy to that… that is unexplainable… a silent joy to the soul… a trip to the heart…

The point…
The point is the pinnacle the upper edge… the very tip of the iceberg… the highest point imagined… The point of life… is a question worth pondering… I am sure enough to be unsure sew I will venture forth into the wild aspects of such a question… The point of life is in the living of each day… I know that sounds really simple… almost too easy… You will spend a great deal of time searching for the meaning and asking questions about why and how come and others and search for yourself and what you have to contribute to society and all that and when you are done you will find that what you searched for you already possessed… it was in you all the time… Just took the adventure to bring it out of you…

The point is in living each day as the gift it is… a real present of time set aside for you to enjoy fully… magically… wonderfully aware that you are an element of the gift and that by sharing you create a connection to others… One smile leads to another and another and soon there is nothing butt smiles… One kind word… one compassionate touch soothes more then an empty promise… Live today as the gift it is and you will find the porpoise for it is there inside you… The point is to reach the top… the very pinnacle of existence… by living each day as happily as we can…

Adding to it…
I need to add a few lines to what it is I wanted to say this morning… Just a few words of nun sense to add a bit of variety to the spice that life is for me… As I mentioned once before this is a rambling sort of place to stroll in so be care full of the magic car pet that hue place your foot up on…

Directions are needed to get one from here to there… Those humorous Auntie dotes have littered the walk way… How does one get past such disregard for the earth? I can imagine an alternative butt… One that is much slimmer then the present one… a past one wood bee a bit easier to handle then the present won… lol… I can imagine a rather odd set of circumstances… adding to it… will be easy… Odd ways are more easily dealt with then norm Al’s ways and while there should be routine and process there also has to be room for the creative soul to wander a bit…

Some times…
Some times one needs to just say hi… To stroll out into the mass of humanity and say hello to those that are close to us… I know there are moments we wish we could do over… moments we wish to God had never happened and then there are these times when we wish to just stop by and get a good feeling by just being with some one we care deeply about… I have a great many things to be happy for… wife, kids, a good life… in general… yet my spirit is at an unrest… a place unsettled… I am at peace with life and what wonders I am able to experience… yet I want more… How selfish is that? How terribly selfish is that… or is it selfish at all? I am unsure of what it means for me to wish to sit and spend a few moments… It is one of those times when I wish to be… to just let it be… to stop holding the worlds together… to stop keeping the pieces of my life in line and let them scramble about for a time… I long for some chaos to exist in for a bit… My tears donut run as they used to… Some times I just want to be with hue colorful and alive…

The arrows of long ago pierce my armor almost daily… I am alone in the midst of a crowded room letting in the sun… letting in the rain… letting in the thunder… the lightening… the sounds of natural change… I slept in your arms and was held so close and warm that when I awoke I whispered your name and smelled your presence about me… Unmistakable… scent of hue filtering about… Why do I do what I do?

I wanted to just ramble a bit today to allow myself the opportunity to sprinkle a bit of what is inside me out for a bit of fresh air… I am going a bout in circles leading know where in particular butt getting there regardless of my own wishes… I started out a time ago wishing that over time I would compile here some words worthy of reading… I have succeeded at times… More then I could have imagined really… Yet as I wander about here today I can tell this is knot one of my best efforts… lol…

I am in over my head… drowning in the sunshine, the light that life has caste before me illuminates the day for my eyes to seize upon and be inspired… Today was one of those times when I needed to be inspired from a far and one did and I responded to her… I suspect I will knot hear from her… In reality I donut need to hear I hear what I need to hear and while she is so very special and wonderful and every thing… I understand the distance… in mileage… in years… in wonders that I will never over stand… I am on cloud nine… sleeping… wishing… dreaming… can life get any better?

Some time I will make that adventure to the other side and I will get an opportunity to slip and fall deeper into the ecstasy of life… Until then I will satisfy myself with the knowledge that love is a forever thing… That desire, passion and a lust for life can sustain us further then we thought possible… As time passes the present of today wraps a memory about me… The future walks closer to my dreams and I sit watching the parade of thoughts swirl about me… I wish to sit… to eat… to enjoy… to satisfy my hunger…

Am I caught in the rut of a daze over time? Am I lost to myself for so long that I can know longer remember who I am really? I have ventured forth to find and found that I had what I searched for… I went on a quest for knowledge I already possessed… I have told you so much and so little… I have told you every thing and nothing… I wish and I dreamed of you… and held you… only then did I over stand… Only then did I fall deeply inside and lose my mind… Only then did I real eyes that there was more to the porpoise then I first saw… I needed knot tell you a word for you knew the answers to the questions you asked… What happened in your life never mattered to me… never occurred to me to treat you any different… never altered my desire… never quieted my passion… never silenced my love… I learn more in one day with you then I do in the years away…

It is okay to know me inside out… I will let you in to find out and let you out when you have accomplished all that you feel necessary to know… I am knot what I seem to be… I am an altered ego of another soul… I am lost in the fields of my dreams wandering about in search of the write path… If I had one ounce of passion I would do what my heart tells me… If I did I would knot be here writing I would be some place else… adrift I am in the illogic of my life…

People will wander in here and read this and think me a loony tune… an enigma… a pair of docks nestled side by side that makes know sense at all… Yet here I am… here I sit… existing in a place and time… lost or found… alive or dead… what I have spoken to the four winds will always be etched in the stones of time… I said it out loud once… I spoke the words… and there fore the day begins as it ends by a crossing over in time… the process of going from the light to going towards the light…

Right here and right now is a pair of dice to me… Never in my exist dance did I think I would ever meet some one who could see right through me… some one who would touch me as deeply… as completely… life is what it appears to be and then so much less then that… It would seem that my exterior persona has been less then enlightening to those around me… While I have been rather preoccupied I have also been in a rather good sense of being… Unfortunately my exterior has not mimicked my interior light… Rather odd in that I am usually rather glowing in that regard… so it goes… another add just mint to swallow whole a refreshing change to the world… A smile warms the heart and cracks through the barriers beset by others…

Some times one needs to just sit and stare out into space and time and wonder about life… about the synergy of contact… about the lust we have for one another that rises and falls deeply over time… Some times the day is knot long enough to satisfy my cravings for life and at others it has over stayed its welcome at breakfast… I wish for so much more then I have a write to… Yet that is what is so important about it… I get to wish… to dream… to step forth and allow myself the creative experience… Some times we all just need to let it be what it is and go on… sew that the seams we wish to rend are mended properly and we can learn from the places we have been…

When he walked away to do it his way he for fitted his right to hold you… You are free to roam the high ways and bye ways in search of what you have lost and if you find it in the arms of another then that is the lesson you learned and needed… I once asked for a friend to share life with and gained so much more… I am care full now about what I ask for…

A cloud is vapor water mist rising from the earth… A part of the process… a peace to the puzzle that surrounds us… Thinking is knot doing… thinking is wondering what one should do next… it is knot the process of witch ones does it is the process in witch one con Tim’s plate right out from underneath him… A cloud is an excuse for missing out… an illusion for times when the midst of things surrounds hue in colors and you wish only to see the white that blinds you… A cloud is a phrase used to lighten the load and then to push the need aside… Clouds donut blind… opinions do… prejudices do… certainty does all that and more… a cloud is just water waiting for a return… it is an opportunity… to wash away the tears and shed light on the dreams…

I have spent today wandering about in my own little private world… I have rambled a bit here or there said little if any thing of value… I wish to know a bit more about a lot of things… I am learning as I go to speak… to write to get my point across the table… Interesting how time is shared… wonderful how the minutes pass creating a joy that is endless… I feel a bit more at peace with the world… a bit more centered then I did yesterday… I bit more into life then I was before the dawn rose to great me… In time I will be able to share more of what is with those that I share life with… Another brick in the wall falls away… another leaf shed from the tree that hides me so well… another spot to sit and to take stock in as the days tick by… I am alone and knot so much alone… I am together and knot so much together… I am free and knot so free as I stopped seeing others that were held captive by their own words… ‘Tis but the end of another days worth of wondering… of wandering about…

On the cusp…
It may seem like I know… but in reality I donut know… It may seem like I have a sense of porpoise… Butt in reality I am as lost as the next person… It may seem like I have a grip on reality… but in reality I have lost it… It may seem that I am more then I am… inn reality I am who I am and nothing more… It may appear to you that I have a higher meaning in what I write or that I even know what I am writing… In reality the words donut have any more meaning then what the words speak to you the person who reads what I write… It may appear that I have it all together… In reality I am about as scattered as a soul can be… It may seem like I have found what I am searching for… In reality I am still searching for it… I may give the appearance… butt the reality is very different…

I am on the cusp of the wave… the fringes of a reality that I have created for myself in the midst of all these things… I am lost inside a prison of my own making… A creative wonderland that at times shuts out the realities of life for the more comfortable pleasure of my own creation… I donut have the same anger… the same desires or the same passions that I used to have… That is okay… they were not the best of times nor were they the worst of times… They were times that I lived… experienced life and learned a bit about me… I used to be what I disliked but I got better…

The water cools my emotions and while I wish to react… I know knot to speak any more… Life is for enjoying and if the course of a day will lead me to a discussion with some one where ideas and attitudes can be debated freely and openly then I wish to participate… If one wishes to hurl words in the hope of silencing me then I will avoid the confrontation… It serves no porpoise for me…

It may appear that I am an author… or a journalist… or a writer of some sort… In reality I am just a person who writes what comes naturally to him in a place and then he shares it with others… It may seem that I have control over these words in some magical sense… In reality the magic is in the words and the minds of the ones who read them… It may seem that each day I have hours to spend writing… In reality I have minutes… It may appear that I am a solitary figure… In reality there are more… It may appear to you or to some others that the one who writes is beyond your ability… The reality is that I am more of a novice in life then most… It may appear that I write words of some wisdom… Inn reality I am writing from my heart and listening to the words that flow through me…

What is this that so intrigues others to sit and to read what I have placed in this place… my thoughts and recollections are left out… There are know torrid stories of romance or lust… or daily trials… just the ranting of some kind of loony… I donut sea the porpoise some times… then at others there is magic in what I have written… I sit and I read often my own words from months ago and wonder out loud where I got it all from… I have long ago stopped questioning the magic that flows through me… I just wonder what hand is at work within me… For there are times when the write words appear at just the right time in just the write way to allow the magic of life to slip into view where before it had been elusive enough to me missed… Sew others wander in here and they sit upon this comfortable chair and they read what I have placed before them… as my thoughts… much like I do with what they have written… and there is a sharing of ideas… of the lessons of life and from all of that we each walk away with a better over standing of another’s way…

Some times it seems like there is know way out… In those moments I flee to the future… I run forward as fast as I can to leave the past behind me in a festering heap… soiled and tattered… a steaming pile of stench to be swept away by the effects of time… I have learned so very much about the ideas of what I do… and yet I am elusive… in gaining the proper perspective on me… The true meaning of life is in the living… the greater spiritual focus leads us only to the joy of daily life… experiencing the greater pleasure of doing each and every day a kindness for witch we are rewarded by a simple smile… The future holds the possibilities in her hands… we need only walk forward with eyes open and accepting of alternatives not of our own making…

What we sea is not always the turbulence of the greater ocean but sometimes it is the small pool thrown into turmoil by our limited perspective… A wave crashing on a beach is not the entire ocean… it is but one wave… If one focuses on the force of the impact then one misses the majestic beauty that occurs in the rolling towards the shore… the rising and falling of the water… the colors of the water as it runs towards the beach… the color of the sand… the sky… The wild ride is but one aspect of what is happening… When we are on the cusp of the wave that is about all we sea… Yet when we step back we notice that we did sea more then we realized… and we did learn more then what was apparent… It is okay to see the crags for what they are… places to hide or crash upon… or are they the wonders of nature carved over time into a marvelous sculpture that defines a life time of wondering… of adventures yet to be…

In Love…
It is true that love is knot blind at all… Love filters out all the nonessential stuff and cuts right down to the roots to find if there is strength in them… Love alters a view for it lives on when there is separation… and even death cannot take the love we have for one another away… In love we are bound together over time and generations from one life time to the next life time… In love is an expression of great desire and passion… In love forms a vision of youth when in reality the young know very little about it other then what their hormones tell them… Love is an older experienced person’s dream… Love over shadows the illnesses, the personal desires, the individual passion for another… Love steps aside while another moves pass and guides them with a compassionate hand… Love is not the romance… it is the tenderness in witch we deal with one another… the direction we steer our lives together as a community… In love is a vision of child like play fullness that stay with us for all times… We are never more child like then when we are in love… and that state of mind is where we gain a great strength to go on… to step forth onto this day for it is worthy of our dedication to living for another… I am more in love now today then I was yesterday… and I will be more in love tomorrow… If you allow your heart to open and let in the spirits then the possibilities for you are endless boundless and effortlessly they spread their wings about you… In love you will knot find blindness you will find the acceptance of you as you are for who you are…

The write time…
I donut require hue to sit and respond to me instantly… I donut require you to write a word… When the time is write you will find a moment… and then that is what it will be… We all have our responsibilities to ourselves, our families, our Gods and our countries… It is over stood by me… I am not offended in any way… I wish you to be doing what pleases you and makes you smile… Happiness is a warm feeling of knowing that there are ways to make another smile… I write because it is what I do… It is my way of setting the world on fire… In my small world there is magic and desire and passion for the words that flow inside me… When it is the write time you will know what to say and how to say it… Until then in joy the wonders of your family… the passion of your dreams and the desires you wish in your heart…

Passing on…
One day passes on into another… One set of seconds ticked off the clock in the course of our life times… In time we will wish for these seconds… butt for now we wish them away… Wish them to pass on so that we may reach for what we see as the next place we long to be… Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life… Do what pleases you and you shall never be bored… Time has passed on an urgency of porpoise to pass on what we have learned to another generation of adventurers… Time demands that we set our speed to the red line and have fun in the process of gaining… a little ground… a little patch of some where for the porpoise of enjoying the day… Pass on what seems like a little bit of the adventure to those that sit with you and remember it is in the words that they sparkle…

I have passed on many times in the course of my life… Wishing I was some where other then the place I was… Dreaming of other times and other people when the day was the present I should have been opening… I have heard the voice call to me and responded late, early and right on time… I am more responsive now then I used to be… I am done with passing on opportunities or passing on possibilities or passing on life…

Pass on the jokes that you have written in life… the humorous attitudes that have created smiles and laughter… The day calls for a recollection of life’s jokes… Pass on the words that you have written that speak to you… that reach out and grab you by the throat so that words will not… Pass on the feelings that stop you in your tracks and make you learn really learn… and the ones that have altered your perspective… Others wait in the shadows for the ones on the fringes to enlighten them… Are we the lights that they see in their own private dark nests? Are we the colors that their bleak world looks out upon and desires to be theirs? Are we the ministers of some sort of white magic that they are called to? I donut know… I donut care… If we stay to our paths I guess we will all find out…

A trip…
I took a trip into reality and wandered about… I missed a lot when I was in reality… My own reality that is… The jokes are on me so to speak… sticking and swirling around me… Passed them on I did to another and then to another and around once more they fly… I was wondering what would happen to internut traffic if the jokes stopped being passed on… lol… A complete opening of a rather large void… that wood knead to bee filled with some thing… One said to me that jokes were there way of saying that they were thinking of me… You think of me as a joke was my response… lol… I could knot help myself it was too easy… Sew I took this trip into reality and walked away with myself only to find that my loony nest is really a lot better then most peoples reality… Humm I wonder how that works… You can hide butt you cannot escape the effects of another’s thoughts… The jokes are on me once more… deluged in them this morning from the military arsenal… the pentagon… the other limits of European territories and the far reaches of the outback… Good God! I am a joke after all… lol…

A ripple effects…
A gentle pond serene… silent… calm to the eye… a wonder of nature nestled in among the trees that line her shore… A grassy place to sit upon a large rock that over looks the entry and exit… a quiet place to sit and to wonder… a place of perfect solitude… A ripple effects more then first meets the eye of the beholder… A slight alteration of water pushing out in all directions at once is seen only on the surface… as circles of water flow out stretching to the far limits and fading away… What of the effects up or down… the turmoil of the levels below and above the surface… The splitting of the air… the forcing out of the layers of water underneath the surface… A ripple effects more then we realize… more then we first see… a wave is caused by the efforts of one pulse in the sea… a ripple is such a pulse… the larger the pulse the larger the ripple… the more ways in witch it distorts the calmness that existed… A ripple effects more then the sea…

Getting lost in the words…
There are times when the words… escape my finger tips quicker then I can comprehend what I am getting at… The illusion that I am at peace with myself is that an illusion… I am at peace with the world knot with myself… I am at peace with what goes on around me but knot with what goes on inside me… I step into the words today and have been lost in the recesses of my mind for a time… The gentle slope of a man’s mind is forever in search of another place to play… The endless search pushes me to explore all possibilities endlessly… there will always be another way to do some thing… another way to get to the other side and to slip inside the dream once more… Lost I am at times in the words that I write while I do wonder about it I am peace full in my solitude and confine mint… Lettuce knot sea the end as a means but as a goal to be avoided for as long as we can…

Today is a dream unfolding before my senses that I wish to take in completely… every minute is a small piece of what will be a larger puzzle… every one unfolds itself over time… This time like no other set of time will create an image of wonder that I will place up on my mantle as one of great achieve mint… Given what I have done this is a wonder in itself…

Donut think that it is as easy as it looks… Donut use what you have learned to create more smiles… Donut create dreams worth living more now… Donut sea the shore possibilities spread out before your eyes… Donut sea the wonders of the gifts inside you springing forth to be shared by others… Donut pass on what you have learned so that others may enjoy what you are… Donut think that I am having fun writing this…

A quiet fry day…
Silence in the halls… a paled quiet covers us… a solitude of the mind… I am about to embark on a quest of sorts… I am about to finish off this entry and file it all away for a time… I am about to start another project before I finish the one I am on… I am about to wonder about me… It is after all a quiet day filled with time to sit and wonder… at the same time it is hectic and a play day for those of us who like what we do… Who would I be if I was not me? Then I would have to be an alternative me… a person of diverse possibilities that I have knot yet considered… An interesting journey that would be… I wish I over stood me… In quiet times I wonder a lot more as I wander… Some times I wonder why I ever started to wander in the first place… I am in love with the changes that fill my life and the thoughts of love that float inside me… The quiet times are ending for the rest have arrived… it is time… perhaps to get on with it…

I stopped…
I stopped doing some of the evil things that I do when I am doing what I do… I stopped being annoyed at others for being who they are and then I stopped taking massages in the middle of what I am doing so that I get done what I can get done… I stopped allowing my mind to wander while Imam doing this… I stopped taking notes in classes so long ago I forgot how to take them at all… The impotent stuff I miss and the rest I keep with me… What else is there? two real eyes see the world differently then won… Open eyes have the advantage over closed ones… I stopped noticing what people do wrong or what I perceive is wrong and just went with it… Logically that is really knot me butt I stopped caring about those who are happy being blind, deaf and dumb… It is not my place to enlighten them… Read on this does get better… lol… I stopped being the central depository of other witches shit… take that as it is said… no explanations given… I stopped wondering why a long time ago and started to ask other questions of myself… I stopped doing what others thought I should do and now I am doing what I know I need to do… I stopped being who I thought I should be and began being who I am… A rather odd state of mind this is… I started to say that to hug is human… to whisper divine to the madness that is inside my head… I stopped being sane and now I will allow the insanity to works its way into my life… I stopped being the conduit for other’s mental states… I stopped being the second and decided I was better being the me… I stopped staying where people dislike my thoughts and wandered off to a place where people sort of like what I say… Knot that I say any thing interesting mind you… Butt at least I donut have insults hurled at me on a daily basis… Sensitive soul that I am… I donut like that at all… I stopped being a hard ass… I stopped being a bit of a prick… I stopped be so controversial… I stopped being the answer man who knew the write way and just went my own way… and found an entire other place in witch to play… I like this side of my own reality a bit more… I stopped being the one and tuned off the instant massager… It is fun to read the mail and answer in peace and happiness… I am off to the other side and loving it…

Wanting sum…
The fabric of life is woven on a daily basis… The tapestry appears over time… as a line by line achieve mint savored for its fresh taste and source of possibilities… Each line contains all the skills we need to survive into the next… a periodic step back reveals to our eyes the excite mint of what is spread before us now… By the time we reach this age of exist dances we have woven a robe of magical length… color filled in details and dark in other places… Such are the journeys we have been on… A bit of this and a bit of that and some times a bit of what we did knot wish butt needed and then a bit of wonder when we least expected to find any thing at all… The grains of fruit bearing wonders are scattered to the four winds for us to find and bring home once more… There is a possibility that you may be the one more sew then eye to write… to color… to create another perspective… The consideration that life is as simple as we wish it to be is true and it is false… Confusion is a state of being that may frustrate some… it may anger others… or it can motivate one to be curious enough to find out more… Along the whey we find different wheys to sample… diverse tastes to wander through and in joy the possibilities that our life is taking a turn in the opposite direction and coming about to face the wind head on for a time… The tidal wave of change we once rode is not as large as it once was for we are a bit more flexible then we once were… Another stitch in time… another color added to the mosaic… another day in the life… a crisp… delight full picture of what is… and a dream of the wonders that can bee…

Supporting arms…
Many times we need the comfort of a supporting arm or two to steady us against the winds of change… In the face of life full of change, full of alternatives an ear to listen and a mind to wander are ones most vital skills… A reason for doing something… anything is all in the eye of opportunity that presents itself when the time comes… The out come will be what it is and then there is time to enjoy the place you find yourself… a little color… a little alternative… a little spice to sprinkle into a other wise knot so average day… A knot so average way to pass… a knot so same like type of place… a diversity for the mind to dream about… Take those supporting arms with you as you traverse the day and let them hold you… we all need a little lift and support every now and again… And as the days pass remember one can always learn some thing new even words can be learned when we are forced to… in joy there are endless possibilities for delight…

Nothing to due…
Silly person… Rather odd time I have had of things lately… I wander on a very strange path myself for a time… The trouble is I am lost a bit… The realities of life are keeping me very busy with the taxi service for the children… Difficult in the best of times… the spring is a very hectic time with the need to be in many places at one time… Mary has altered her job schedule so she is unable to help with the taxi service on most weekdays… Her way of getting even with me… lol… Donut be so worried about what it is… that takes me away for times… it has nothing to do with you as much as it has to do with me… I have been away from me for some time… knot necessarily a bad thing… a some what good time to alter my perspective… The stepping back is a process that allows me to see the world from a different light… I am drifting that is for sure… butt where am I drifting to… is the question knot away from any one but towards other times… A step back to take two steps forward… I am out and about and wondering… painting elusive pictures… in the sands of time that fade faster then I can draw them…

Being there…
The edge… the limits of one’s endurance… the place we hesitate and wait for the moment to step beyond time or sew it seams as we wander about in what appears to be an aimless search for the write door we are presented with many possibilities of being there in the moment… In the valley there is a private sky… a very private peace of eternity that can only be shared by those that hue can describe it two… On the edge of a dream… the peripheral possibilities call the loudest… the most direct… I sit some times and ruminate in the beauty of my own making… a calm nest… a sense of being… filters from me… I can share that easily with others… while the depth is only felt by a select few who take the time to step beyond the edge the limits shattered they step closer into the still nest and sit with me… The being is there shared… exchanged and alive… What the rest sea is an ocean of waters to wash in… what the gifted sea is an opportunity to be thy self in… and to share that gift with some one else…

On being held…
The thought of being held is a terrifying one… One that conjures up the aspects of captivity of the mind… The imagination runneth wild to all aspects of captivity… torture and such… While sum may wonder others will imagine… while sum may wander others will suppose ways to avoid such places… Being held captive in my own mind for some time I suppose it can get a bit tortured… a bit out of touch with an alternative reality if one does knot step outside for a bit of fresh air… The curbs are higher today… must be the low feeling… Does one know when the tongue is in the cheek or does one knot?

The reality of wandering is that it gets you to other places all the time… Just without the map… A course of events would be nice or course any event wood bee nice… A picture is a perfect way to say thank ewe deer… An illusion of in joying the thyme will sat is fry the hungry hearted… Middle aged is when the chair is nicer to sit on then the floor… old age is when the chair has to have cushions… and a foot rest… Captivity is the place we all long for really… a place we can be secure enough and know won will see us being nutty… Lock him up and throw away the key… sew that the day will enlighten him to shine a bit on the other side of the nutty lands… What a nuttier! Do you have a dime… for a cup of coffee? Sorry you old bugger… butt even if I did I didn’t have the heart to tell him coffee costs a lot more… then a dime… What is this with designer coffee… who gives a shit… well I guess the ones who drink it… lol… Please let me out I am going insane… sorry too late… lol…

In reality being held is one of the most wonderfully sensual things two people can do… The simple touch of one human being upon another alters the moment… makes it creative… special and endearing for all time… Wrapped up in the arms of another we are protected… secure and warmed by their embrace… I long to be held and to hold… that is my lunacy… that is my quest… that is my captivity…

Out of my mind…
In the beginning I just thought that maybe it was something I said… after a while I real eyes that it is knot a word exactly butt probably my entire being that drives them nutty… Could be a possibility that I, the me that I am, this personage that I inhabit has offended another’s sensibilities and driven them off the deep end retreating toward a future they can now some how see with a clearer view of life… the opportunity existed and while the step was actually more of a push with a cattle prod stuck up the individual’s arse we were able to see the light of day a bit more honestly then the darkened clouds of sleep would provide…

Get the old tired arse out of bed and get the old tired body washed, shaved and dressed for dirty, smelly, hairy people can be a bit annoying at times… knot to say that there are not times for being dirty smelly and hairy… for they too have their porpoise in life butt one should at least get the up in the right places and see to it that the right places are taken care of… The old tired personage walks slowly about wandering where the day will lead… aimless… knot able to focus… sorry the day is too bright I must retreat to my lair… lie her that I am… selfish attitude that I have to keep my present to my self and to share none of it… I will allow know one to know… ahhh am I really this insane?

A peace filled silly nest…
As it happens there are days that trip delights a little more then others… And so it goes with any other day… any other time… any other place in time… The trip… a fall away… a wander into the abyss of delight to find a silly nest to rest in for a time… What ones considers a void of dark nests can actually be a hidden cavern of silly nests… awaiting the unsuspecting eye to fall into beginning a process of delight that will alter a person’s mind… I wonder some times where this piece comes from and how it eludes my ability to capture and hold onto it except in times of great need… then it is always there… always within me… to focus me to the places I need to see clearly now… I donut always know the way… I donut always have the answers… yet I am confident I can navigate the paths between the dark nests and the silly nests that wander about inside me… A silly being I can be… but I will accept that as a way of living as opposed to the alternatives… I will never be what others are… I will always only be the me I was intended to be… that brings about a peace and a silly nest… to step inside…

Slipping…
Answers to questions knot asked… questions for words knot yet over stood… jumbled words lined up on a sidewalk for passers bye to read… and then later to make sense out of… street cars lined with desire… taxi cabs filled with passengers… trains standing still getting you there without moving… music filling the void of time from one place to the next instantly… a step off the normal plane into the other plain… an altered state perhaps… or I am just slipping over the edge…

A tear…
A tear drops… lubricates the eyes… washes away the dust… the anger, the pain… bathes us in joy filled sweetness… Shared tears of kindness or of love mingled on the cheeks… soaked up by the hands of one or the other… What is there is the sweet nest of delight… a touch of a hand… a question of balance and a tear of happiness that inspires one to think… and then to smile…

Magical…
Daze pass and then some others and then some more and before one knows it the pace has excel her rated to the point of missed ones… The spring season is in full frantic swing from the heat to the frozen… I have miss many a good daze to just sit and rest on my ever expanding seat… nice to find a comfort zone to sit in… Been down the long and winding road and realized I had not had the time to check in and say high… higher and higher still the waters collide and the rapids rush bye… All are well and time calls me to move on… peace…

Aha…
A series of words that rip a light… a line punctuated just right to alter a mind’s eye… A license to kill… an affair to remember… a dream worth having… The blau… blau… blau of laughing… Some times they just donut get it… and that is the point wasn’t it?

In the dark…
What is in the dark really? What allows the dark to hide? What allows our thoughts to wander and then to wonder whilst we con Tim from his plate of thoughts and enter into the realm of the absence of light or is it the combination of all light that creates such a void of our sense of sight such that we must wander in what appears to be a void with other senses? Strike a match and come away with still more illusions of what is there… Light is not an option here… light is not a process that will transform this dark nest… an interesting conceptual idea to open ones imagination and fill the space with bridges and ways to cross over and then to venture down or for that matter up into the recesses that hold such a creative pallet before your senses… One must unlearn and then learn to write without sight… to etch into stone the way to go for others to follow… To go where no one has gone before one must be willing to do it different now… What is in the dark as we strip away each combination of color? A rainbow of delights exists in the least of places…

Trapped…
Caught in the confines of the prison cell we constructed of mere intellectual properties… Locked inside tight fortified with strange thoughts as the worms eat into your brain… lost in the spice of life disassociated with reality… Trapped by my own desire to be free at last.. free at last… thank God almighty I am free at last…

Solitude Confined Mints…
The silence floats over me a bit… I let it drip into me slowly… wonderfully aware of its touch upon my skin… This day has been a busy one… sew the silence into my being stitch by stitch… attach it to every molecule so that in time I can get used to the peace full nature of this confine mint… I in joy a moment alone with time to sit while the music plays I listen to each note lift me higher and higher still into the plain of my dreams… The solitude is a mystery that calls to me to be what I am…

A moment in time…
I only have this moment in time to share for today has been a hectic sort of time… a time filled with the hurry ups and the waits and then the hurry ups that are the by products of others timing more so then times of my own… Now after taking care of such things for others it is my time to step back and to relax in a positive way curling my toes and laughing… stretching and whispering humorous observations to the four winds… I have only this moment in time to sit and collect my thoughts… I have only this moment to enjoy the present that I hold in my hands… In time, time will move on to some other lucky soul and sit with them for a bit of light conversation and then to move on to the next and so on… Time as are all things is a fickle entity… here one minute and gone the next always in motion of some sort… this has just been one of those precious moments in time with time…

Making Miss Takes…
I have taken out Miss Takes a number of time and been given a great many opportunities to share my secrets with her… Now there are some that I have slipped and repeated to her butt for the most part just being with her is a Miss Take of the highest order so I am care full knot to speak to quickly or be Miss Interpreted by her so that future run ins with Miss Takes will be cordial and easy to deal with… It really is knot that bad a thing to sit with Miss Tale and to clean up the mess after… It is not that we donut make Miss Takes it is what we do after we have… made Miss Take… I have found that she doesn’t fit well under the table and trying to hide her in the closet just will knot dew… Better to introduce her to all around and then get about finding her some place else to reside for a bit… Nothing like a sigh to relieve one of a Miss Take or two…

Fantasies…
One day… one dream… one wish… created a long while ago will be a fantasy worth living… All along the waters of my life I have strolled and sat and wished for things to be… At some point in time they either are or they are knot… I have this fantasy… that maybe in time I will get to do… I have hope… one should always have hope… One need only believe in the possibility for it to happen… and there before your eyes is another dream… another wish… another fantasy to look forward to now…

Forward…
Each day moves us forward… even if we wish to stand still we have moved in time from one place to another… We surround ourselves with same nests so that the change happens unnoticed… a few seconds, an hour, a day slips by… What have we gained? I am confused and withdrawn inside me… Yet the day moves on unaware of my own disassociation from reality… A cheer full person I can some times be… I am escaping into what the future holds for me… I am turning my back on what was and making plans to go into what can be for me…

Time…
There is a time to stop… A time to just put an end to what you are doing and to change course drastically… There are times for slight adjust mints and then there are times for radical alterations of the mind… I donut know what time is the best time to do what it is that must be done… I do however know the time is right for a change… a slight or radical adjustment of the way in witch life is played out… A short massage to the mind is about all one can hope for…

I was looking at my address book and IM listing and for the life of me I donut know who half these people are… How did they get here? Over time I guess I have added a bit of this and that and now suddenly it is filled with person’s unknown to me… So I spent a bit going through the list and removing those that I have seen neither hide nor hare of in some time… In addition to that I deleted my IM listing completely… what a distraction that is… I donut care who is on when I am on… I am on to write and therefore I am going to write and the hell with the IM… as a matter of fact I think I will just unplug the whole goddamn thing… There is a time for these things and there are times to move in another direction…

Anger…
A wise old man once said to me that people say what they believe what they truly believe and have held in their hearts when they are angry… If you wish to know what is in a person’s heart push them to that point and you will see a side of them they wish to hide from you… their anger reveals their true thoughts… pointed and direct…

Questioning me…
I spent a great deal of time over the last week questioning myself… about a lot of things that seem to come up now and again… Words have been a quest for me… A way of expressing what was inside me… I have managed to be rather creative in there use… It is a tool I love to play with and learn more about each and every day… I know also that I have missed opportunities to share… generating questions in my mind over and over again… I keep questioning me… questioning what I am doing… where I am going… what good if any I am accomplishing… Some day I may know a little more about that but for now I can knot see it… I am blind to it… and the questions will flow… the questions will appear from all sides…

I am afraid that I have made way to many Miss Takes of thought and expression that I should have kept deep inside my own imagination… Such is life… Such is the truth that underlines another’s ability… Such is the trust that is associated with words that I write… words that I speak… and the reality is that it is in part just a dream for the real me is a fig mint of this me… The real me is much more grounded and solid then this me is… I am questioning this me and will be for some time… What was I thinking? It is obvious that I was knot thinking at all…

Tired…
I am so very tired… tired of all the words that have little or no porpoise… The ones spoken to harm another… to get a reaction that is angry or imperfect so that other insults can be thrown back and forth… I am so very tired of not having the same possibilities within me… I simply will knot go there with you… I refuse to be put upon on such a field… I know I have attempted in most of my writings to paint a picture that is worth having… Maybe what I write is unique or maybe it is just bull shit from either perspective… take what you wish and leave the rest… accept or donut accept what I write… or for that matter who I am or who you imagine me to be… for I am neither of those things… I am just who I am… the same as any one else… a human being with feelings, emotions, wishes, dreams and desires… for myself… my family and my children… I am so very tired of the hate… the need to cause pain so that the suffering is some how passed on to another and that eases the pain you find yourself in… I am tired of finding alternative views to life… for others to see… for others to wash themselves clean in… I am tired of the constant words of darkness and doom that are played out about me day after day… I am tired of burning it all away and replacing it with a delight worth having… I am so very tired of never being able to do some thing write… I am tired and perplexed by indifference to doing… If you dislike what I write… donut read it… If you dislike me… donut talk to me… If you are doing this to get a reaction how is this one? I am way to tired to deal with your bull shit… I have enough of my own…

A little bit easier…
It is easier to exist in the darkness then to walk in the full shades of sun light… It is easier to believe that one can hide amongst the shadows then in the shade of a tree… It is easier to find what is wrong then to look for and praise what is good and proper… It is easier to complain about life then it is to step up and make a difference… Lazy nests abound in all forms… they are the seats into witch spectators sit… and hurl insults at participants… failing to do the acts themselves they image they can do better and rail against those who are… The darkness hides these creatures and keeps them from seeing in the light of truth who and what they are… They only have a life if we give them ours… other wise they are useless and powerless…

Guessing…
I guess we all wonder what would happen if we were to just stop… To float off without a trace… to just let go of this reality once and for all and to accept another reality that is on the other side of this one… I guess we all wonder if we will be missed… I suspect a few souls would miss me… my dogs… butt they would make friends with who ever feeds them they are easy that way… and of course who ever scratches their butts… they like a good butt scratching… My kids would probably miss me until they find another ride to or from some place… and a source of cash… My wife would miss me a bit… we are close in so many ways I am sure she would hesitate a moment or two before going on with life… A strong woman she would be okay without me… A few tears… a friend or two would notice the stopping of my insistent persistent droning on and on about life… Who else really would notice? If I stopped writing today I wonder if anyone would notice that I did… Life can be so very cruel… unfair… and in a sense what I am saying is that I donut matter… Before me there was another who spoke the way I do and before them another one so I am just another in a long line of people who will have these ideas…

On the other hand I would knot be so strong… as to think I could continue without the support that I have… I do a great deal because there are people about me that inspire me to be better… they challenge me each day to find a silver of hope or a word to alter a perspective… I enjoy the delights that I send out… the brightness the colors… My strength lies… it is knot inside me… it is in the words that I am inspired to write by the sharing of the magic… without that I have no place… no strength… no porpoise… I am sure I would be missed by a few… and by those that never knew me… by those that never read a word of what I write or touched by the hand that touched mine… I am sure they would over look the uncertainty of life and go about life knot having noticed me… yet they would miss the light I shed upon the earth… for the earth misses us all… in that respect and in that respect only I would be missed…

A few more words to say…
In a moments time it will be time to fade away for a time away is butt an adventure of possibilities… Today is a lighter day… one that has the potential to be easier on the mind then the eye sees… Even though I have the opportunity I am sure I will see less of them then there are… I do less with more then any one I know… I have a sense of humor about me… and the words I have written today are my sanity check… my questions… my guesses as to what would be if I did this or that… My way of thinking out loud enough that others would hear the voices call to me in the darkness of the mind and gather a search to find my way home… I have a few more words to say about this day and I will probably write some more later when I get the chance to do that… I am at a loss for what it is that is rattling about inside my head write now butt I am sure it will pop out in a moment or two and delight me… When did I write this… before I started the others or after all the ones are done before now?

One can go on and on about nothing in particular and seem to get from one place to the next effortlessly over coming what ever obstacle life places before them… I do so with a graceless dance upon the leaves… A day after the day before I stood upon a hill to watch the stars float by in the heat of the night the glow and the dew fogged my way as the clouds rolled in the skies blinked at me… Silence is broken only by the weight of the words spoken…

The few words left in me are ones that have some how managed to get stuck in the throat of a progressive worry… Shut the fuck up you girly person… you are so weak… we are going to pump you up you girlie man… I can imagine that… I can laugh at that… I can find the humor in that…

What price will I pay for such a thing… a slip a slide a comment to ones own way of stopping the flow of words that are meaningless they have value added to them by the gifted hand of a spirit… I am lost in the tossing or is that the turning of time… Almost noon and almost time to change once more from the tired and reckless soul into one worthy of another’s thoughts…

A little inspiration…
It only takes a bit… a word really or a nod of the head to one side or the other to spark a reaction… I suppose the time away was beneficial in that regard… I watched a bit more… I walked a bit more… I strolled the magical carpet of the day a bit more then I am used to… A little edging for the trees… A little edging for the flower beds to lie a bout in… A little more of the hug that warms a soul… I thought of you as I walked through the airport… I thought of you while I was driving about in my car… I thought of the hue that you are now and smiled deeply with my soul… I thought of all the times before now and laughed… and hugged you to me… there is more of course… more words to be shared… more hugs to share… more days to walk together… more nights to reminisce about other times… The dream is in the making… the memories are of the dream that is being formed… The clock… is an endless pursuer… Never seems to be enough and then there is just enough time to touch upon a soul… and to grasp an opportunity to shine even brighter still the golden ring… A little bit of inspiration and the day sparkles…

Chances are…
That one will never pass this way once more… That time will walk with us to a certain place in the history of man and then leave us… That our time will be a good time… That in time with time we will find the strength and the courage to pursue life with a smile… That in the days before us we will experience a little more magic then in the days that have passed us bye… That the delight we search for is within our control more then we realize… That the truth is a lie… That the wonders of life are well worth the joy it took to get us to realize they are joys… That a perspective altering experience is about to strike us… That in time I will walk upon the land of another’s dream and create a memory with them worth remembering forever… That one spark will ignite a passion inside that will fuel a change worthy of you… Chances are that all this is an opportunity to in joy life a bit more then we have so far…

A voice in the wilderness…
A voice calls out and we hear the tone the difference and we respond to it… a tiny voice that speaks volumes to us… A quiet voice yet it stirs the emotions inside us to smile a bit more… I was reaching for a note and reached for the phone… I was thinking of hue and found another time and place… I was searching for my way and found myself along side a friend I will cherish for a life time… I spoke of diverse times in tones different then the present we share… A trip of the delight fantastic… A small gift is the most precious one to share…

I live within a great happiness of thoughts… In time I will be able to mix those wonders together and come forth with a dream… The wonder of what that dream is rests in my heart… I rest assured that life is worth living once more… A s difficult as I made it the love I have for you means more to me…Each day is a little nicer… a little warmer… a little more perfect with a thought of you to share it with… I live within this wonderful happiness alone a times with my thoughts… quiet in my solitude and sometimes surrounded by the wonders of this friendship we share… I do dream of you a great deal… I hear the voice call me and I answer you from far off and a life time away… My answer to you will always be yes…

One more brick in the wall to stand on… one more layer to heighten the low that you can reach… the worst days of your future will be the best days of your past… and so on and so on… each step you make… every breath you take… I am with you a lot more then you real eyes and though I have become a more faded creature in your imagination I am a force to be called upon to remind you of the wonder that you are… The beautiful being that you are… A little tickle… a push a pull a delight to the imagination… I feel something in the air… that sparks… and ignites the passions that reside inside us both… I wonder what that could be?

Donuts…
Usually when I receive a word or two I can pick out one or two and respond directly… Usually I can sense a person’s mind and pick at it for a place to bring a smile… Usually I can trip a light and tickle one or two places where they are sensitive to… Usually I can do more with a few chosen words from far away then some can do up close and personal… Usually the words flow easily and readily when one reaches out to me…

Nothing about me is usually though… I donut know where or when or what this will lead to… I am caught in the same circle… wondering where exactly my place is on this sphere… I am fixed to the process of learning, changing, growing up in many ways… I have a wish that I donut know about… I have a dream I donut know about… I have a fantasy that I donut know about… I have a lot of donuts that surround me… Donuts filled with limitations, donuts covered with expectations… donuts that I want and some I need… Usually I am capable of much more… then seems to be the way today…

It is a very trying day… I search for the write words to place before you and struggle… I reach out inside my mind and hold on… it is however never enough… never quite complete… The quiet solitude of now brings that focus to light… In the silence of the darkness of night I can believe in other things… that in the delight of the day I donut dare… Another donut to deal with… another donut to add to the bag that has grown rather large…

The rambling nature takes me to other donuts… walks me through the donuts of my life… The donuts of education… the donuts of religious and spiritual centers… the donuts that society places on us… the donuts of being alive… the donuts of my emotional in stability… at times the donuts make up a substantial barrier to my health… One can knot deal with so many donuts on a given day without suffering some kind of health related difficulties eventually…

The whole fantasy is true… Pastries without middles… a bun with a surprise inside that delights the body, the mind and the soul to smile a little bit… A donut is what it was destined to be… a challenge to be dealt with eventually absorbed into the body as it grows past the need for so many donuts to decide the path in witch we must wander…

Donuts used to be a way of life for me… A list of the different varieties and flavors of my limitations stretched far and wide before me… Donuts defined the me I was once… A wall of pastries high and wide and not easy to get through… Hidden secrets of past lies I once told myself… Donuts know longer worry me… They pose an interesting set of temptations for my wants, desires and needs to deal with… Healthy they are in some respects as is anything in small doses… I know longer see the donut view of the world as the end… or even the beginning of some thing other then what it is a whole other way of looking at life…

Some time like today a donut is a wandering note that seems to say nothing at all… it is a peace with a whole in it… A center of gravity in witch a hold can be grasped… there is a whole in many aspects of life… imperfect perfection… so to write any other way is to be knot me… this imperfect way of looking at reality is my own private insanity… I find a center in this path… a path I can wander with you while I hold your hand and just let the donuts be for a time… Where I can sit beside a stream and just listen to the sound of you breathing… The donuts have a bit of the reality and I have a bite out of the fantasy that lives within the whole… the secret center of my universe that the donuts surround… where the donuts have no place or hold… where the donuts donut exist… All along this day from the path that yesterday placed me upon I wondered what to write… what to say… how to hold onto you and open your eyes… another donut appears to be in place before me… another donut that limits my words, my hands… my touch across space and time… I never liked these specific donuts too much…

The day, will flow once more to night and then once more into another day… I will seek the whole that comforts me… I donut know where this will lead me or to what extent the need will influence me… I donut know where my life is leading… I donut know if my hare will survive or my brain will get out of the fantasy long enough to whisper… I donut know where this will all lead at all…

In time the day will float off into a memory and another donut will be dissolved… while another donut will be created… Time creates illusions and time alters those illusions… I once sought a path though the donut fields of my life and found others wandering in the limitations that grow there… I once journeyed to a far off place and found more donuts lying there upon the ground… I am surrounded by donuts… more then I can possibly consume… I am tired of this… tired of the thoughts of what I donut need… tired of donuts defining the way… tired of setting limits… tired of all the ways knot to do… tired of others sanity defining mine… tired of the donuts… I am finally through with all of them…

Knot a word was spoken…
A comment to all to speak ones mind… was met with silence… the silence of non-acceptance… the silence that speak louder then words could… The silence that says knot here, knot now, knot ever… The silence that volume is so high it drowns out the words of those who are speaking… The silence of another’s thoughts by non-acceptance of the words… that they speak… Knot a word need be spoken in such times… silence is the space between words… where one gathers strength to go on… silence is the affirmation of truth as the light in witch to lead one out of the dark nest in their own being… Silence is the sword in witch one is put out of our misery…

A push to one side…
Morning rose and slightly off to one side I was taken to task… The daily routine sparkles with familiarity… A process to arrive where I am at a time that I can do what is necessary to do… I sit across form the others and watch while I write… I suspect they wonder what I am doing while I am in here… Some have asked… Some just wonder… Some just wish they could do what I do… Most just wonder what the hell it is… I some times wonder what the hell it is… The tide will change for some of us… The waters of spring are rising once more ready to flood the planes of our destiny with fertile soils… Pushed or pulled I am unsure witch way to go… The direction is elusive and seems to change by the hour… I can feel the fatigue grow inside me… drawing me away from the delight… drawing me into the dark nest… eventually we all need to sleep perchance to dream…

Reasonable lapses…
Momentarily my reason lapses into illogical logical progressions that lead to other places in other times transfigured before my eyes there is another me that dwells in this other time… I have know reasonable center in these regards… I loose the perspective of in sanity forced upon me by the normal ways… I wish I knew more then I do… I wish I could predict the future… I wish I could see the destiny of others a little more clearly then I do some times… I wish I knew the course that the lives of some will take… I wish I had the peace of mind to be patient with their struggle… with my own struggle… I have reasonable lapses of in sanity… I have them often enough to know that others see life in dynamics more diverse then mine… Where these reasonable lapses lead me remains to be seen, heard and felt deeply in my world… A trip of the delights fantastic…

Another donut…
As if maybe you donut have enough to read or to ponder… There is always more of a good thing to hold onto… The best things in life are given freely from the heart… The very best are not even imagined they just are what they are… The course of a life taken on board… I have been thrown to the ravages of the river tied and held captive by my own being… I donut know what for if I shall ever return butt I know that I must swim to save myself from the river of my own dreams… Donut think about laughing a bite out of place is all one can seize upon and dream upon… I could Shirley used the rest to acquire a new perspective… and whilst she was dozing off to one side her eye fell upon a sinking ship… Donut look upon my words for a reason to smile… Donut view them as a massage to the mind less you sea the meaning between the lines… Donut read what lies here as a perfect lie but one of imperfection perfected over the course of many lies… that I get to tell myself quite often… Another donut to taste… another jellied filled center to poke your tongue in cheek through to the other side sweet… tasty and delicious to sample… Another one filled with the delights that comfort ones soul…

Today I felt that maybe hue donut have enough reminders that maybe you needed a few more such tickles to the sides or feet or back or some where else that tingles your spine so much so that you donut remember what it was that first got you to think of something other then what it was that you were originally thinking about and another donut fell away and then another and pretty soon there was no donuts left to ponder only ones worth eating slowly… taking time to taste the sweetness of each bite…

Time ticks… and the donuts call to me… Time wanders about gathering up a few more of what was left of the crumbs to be swallowed and put to rest… In a brief bit of time I will be past this point and I donut know if I shall return until the Monday morning as I will be my sleep and the play that I must get to this week end’s journey is a struggle… a desire to get the first salvos in… I donut know a lot about many things but I do know a great deal about some things that are magical… spirited and beautiful… I do know they exist and they are worth adding to ones life… another donut to pass by… another one to savor… you decide…
Knot a word was spoken…

Not a word was spoken or a glance exchanged… Knot a silence mentioned or voice to proclaim… Knot a figure to calculate or a problem to solve… Knot a word to be written or a poem to resolve… The music has been silenced the whispers put to bed… The thoughts of another time… well they are all butt dead… Knot a song to sing… or inspiration to draw… knot a word was mentioned… knot a silence given pause…

A gentle sleep…
I dreamed I wished I desired for a more relaxed type of knight and was granted a deep sleep… A sleep of vision… a sleep of fantasies both real and unreal… a sleep of desire so deep so personal that it without words… a sleep of passion that drenched me in sweat sweet and unyielding… A sleep colored in emotions… A sleep powerful and at once full filling to the body… I awoke alive once more ready, willing and able…

A tingle to the spine…
A tickle to the side… a notice of need once removed but still elusive enough to detect… fleeting about on the side… A hold is grasped of ones hand by time… by the opportunity to share a thought… a hug enraptures hue from head to toes tingling… pulsing with desire you imagine… as the passion glows inside you to a flame hotter and more vibrant… a walk with time hand in hand… A she… a he… a doorway to ones imagination opens and is filled with two becoming one slipping inside the other hue listen to the sounds of their voice ringing in your ears and the tingling once more delights you to a heated glow… you slip further inside… deeper down still wanting to know more… needing to know more… wishing to know more and giving so much… of the passion that excites you… A flash of blue light runs up your spine exploding the desire in you to fan the flames even hotter now… even more so… the day… is just delighting to the mind… a touch from a far off place… a hand upon yours… a hug that wraps you within the present of the day… a warm embrace that lifts you up and carries you off to that place where imagination is everything…

Down once more…
The modern miracle of technology… More often then knot it is knot… Some dazes are spent wondering aloud as to when the process will start up as oppose to doing what we are paid to do… The end result being that we are no longer capable of operating in any other way then with the machine as a vital intricate part of the process… The data contained in the box is backed up by a paper system and we could use that to get some things done if we are very careful… In the end the amount of effort required to do that is more then we have manpower for… We do make exceptions and we are careful with those to contain them within the grasp of our minds… so that they are done to completion and when the almighty machine arises from its funk we then have to process what we already processed… The old double the effort for half of the gain routine… No printers… knot a problem… We can do without those… No data collection well we can some how survive a day…When it finally gets to no financials well then all hell breaks loose and we get results… lol… The computer still is the brain child of the bean counter…

Tears…
Often times change the course of a person in a split second of realization… Often time alters a view… Often a walk with Time will encourage a person to act in a way other then the way they would act having knot been with time… Often time changes us… mellows us in some ways and hardens us in others… There are those of us… that Time walks with hand in hand and teaches us to be more… more of a lot of things… most importantly more flexible in ideas… more flexible in dealing with the day… more flexible in emotions… more flexible spiritually… These excursions with time add to an already wide expanse of experiences that we have learned from… There is beauty in the pictures we paint… with our tears we color the world… that others see as black and white… The pallet of colors run from our eyes in all directions at once exploding rainbows of delight into all places… The passion for more… the drive to add more to our lives pushes us to the extreme… Each day we add a little more desire… a little more lust… a little more passion and a little more love to that witch we stir and brew… That we shed tears is a gift… that we shed them because we are overjoyed and filled with happiness is beyond words… Tears sweet and color filled fill the void that once existed in the heart like no other human emotion… a happiness so deep so profound it is without words…

Tripped…
Inspired by a word or two I was tripped… I saw an opportunity and while chasing it I missed the leg of a possibility stretched out before me and I went tumbling down inside myself and found an aware nest of things I have thought long lost to me… I am naturally suspicious of things I read… Naturally curious of intent… Natural I wonder what the porpoise of such passages are… It is a religious thing with me… I was tripped and I tumbled upon a place I can sense other things in… I sense some thing magical in the exchange of words… in the desire for help… I am naturally aware and sure enough to be unsure… I tripped… I fell… I landed upside down and bass ackwards… tossed across a stream… thrashing about internally I came to one very simple conclusion … I donut like to be tripped… I do however like the trip… that inspires me to write… to entertain the thought that life is some how a little brighter… a little better because we exchange ideas… Different we are… yet we are similar in many ways strange and diverse… a mixture of ideas… emotions and a prescription for fun that can always be refilled over and over again…

She…
A she… a precious she… a she smile that carries with it the weight of destiny… Alone or together there is much to smile about… I caught a glimpse of that smile and awoke from my dream alive… shaken… stirred… mixed with the other emotions I have been feeling lately… The sensation of passion once more in my toes… I can knot nor will I settle for less then the dream that captivates me… I am caged and limited and still the waters ravage me with desire… A sense that I should walk a different way and enjoy the delights that life places before my eyes… In time the voice speaks to me now… in time… the dream that you have wished for will disappear and fade from your eyes… In that moment you will know more then you do now… Pierced by such an arrow I lean forward to listen for more… hearing only the whisper of the winds of change… I turn away and wonder… what does such a set of words mean?

A dream is a fantasy of sorts… a wish for the impossible to come true in some way without the hurt that so often is associated with human emotions… One must be so that one might gain… There is light in what I do when I do what I do write… There is beauty in words that transfigure ideas before ones eyes… There is delight in actions that speak long after the words have faded… Every one deserves the dream… the whole fucking dream… knot a slice… knot a peace… the whole entire fantasy of the dream… Everyone deserves that to enter their lives time and again…

She is that dream… the fig mint of my imagination that inspires me to be what I could never have become if knot for her… The in body mint of my emotions… spiritually and physically perfect combination of magic… the dream lives on in the she, she has grown to be… The dream is within her being as much as within the confines of my wishes… The spirit lives on inside her… She is the who I imagined holding… and walking with… She is the dream that lights the candles and sets the fires to burn… She is the wonder… the ever lasting fantasy of my mind alive and in the flesh…

Left out…
I am unsure most of the time about where I am or what place I have… I used to think I knew but that was a lie I told myself about and believed… I know more now so I can step away from that and accept the reality that I am less in some instances and more in others… I have been left out of many a race… many a journey because I was unprepared to answer the call… I was left out of many a life because I was scared… or tired… or just plain stupid… I was left out of reality and taken to this fantasy because I could knot believe it existed… I needed to experience the dream… the wish come true and now that I have I am left out of it…

The choice belongs to others to include the path on witch I traverse to intertwine with the one they are walking… I go my own way and in time will cross again the paths of some others who need to walk a different path… I also choose to traverse another place in time… I choose to put this feeling of jealousy behind me now and go on… I know it serves a porpoise and I know that it is a good way to feel about ones you love at times though it can be a deterrent to any relationship… I have been left out of a life and added to another… a casual present to be played with when the notion crosses and then to be placed aside… I once wished for more then I deserve… The guardian gets to guard… to bear the burden of the knight… to stand to the left in the shadows and to protect… and watch over… I have been left out… to walk another path that shadows another one… there is a porpoise to this…

Once…
Once there was magic and I am sure enough to be unsure about whether or knot it was a dream, a wish or some strand of reality that I cling to now about that… Once I held hands with true beauty in the form of delight… Once I shared my tears with those of another… Once I became a prisoner of my own imagination… Once I spied the far reaches of my imagination and having gone there returned home to find what I was looking for all along… I have rode the ridges, the hills, the mountains and the valleys of my existence and played the music, sang the songs and eaten the food that sustains me in those places deep and knot so deep inside my being… The life that I have chosen is an easy one… I have chosen to speak in words that others sort of over stand… I have chosen to speak of comfort… delight and possibilities… Once there was a gift I shed light on for the one who had it to see… Once they held my hand… once we hugged and parted for the last time… Once this day is done it will be a long time… Once more we will join and then part and then cross paths… Once more the delight of being and the magic that is shared will infuse me with desire, passion and a lust for living…

The knight’s arms…
Protected is what they felt as the knight wrapped the day about them… They slipped into the dark nest to rest… to find peace… to recline in delight upon the earthen bed made for them… A gentle wind blows… a sign of times to come… a warning to those who sense such things… The shroud of dark hides the lies… within the many colors that reside there… Light… soft and true light illuminates the way from far off… a signal to move even now the Knights arms carry us forward towards the edge of the dark nest and into the rising glow… One more task done… one more journey filled… one more knight to stand guard over… into the shadows… silent… sleeps the knight… until the edge of delight once more approaches…

Simple silence…
Simple silence plays on… Simple notes struck up on a key board… a harp unstrung… an instrument of delight life less to the mind but golden to the ears… Words not said heard over the reaches of time whispered in delight to the four winds rested upon the correct one to witch they are spoken… When one speaks another hears the words spoken in ones heart… Simple silence smiles on me… Simple delight fills me… Simple words read over and over are enjoyed each time… Amazed… I seize this moment to speak words silently and to send them…