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11 Jun 2003 - Xray for Bailey Tommorrow
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At 8:30 am Bailey is scheduled to have her Xray. My stomach is in knots and is unsettled. I fear what they will find. I fear PDD again. I pray with all my heart that God will grant our babies the ability to be exempted from contracting this disease. I just cannot comprehend going through this again and again like I did with Austin. I know what those short 4 weeks of battling to keep alive did to me, and Im no where near recovered. My heart is not strong enough to cope with another PDD infected feathered child. I hope I'm doing the right thing, because Bailey shows improvement. She is better, but I also know how PDD can play tricks on you. I don't think there is anything , any test, any words that give an indication all is well in my birds at this moment to ease my mind, or convince me that they will all be okay. Let's face it.....PDD knows no boundries, PDD can rear its ugly head anytime it wishes to do so and PDD can affect my babies is so many different ways. So different, that I might know it even if im looking at it straight in the face. It's as if PDD has many discuises or faces. God I HATE this disease! How it's just ruined our lives. Nothing feels the same anymore and my heart just aches daily. Im sure I will be a basket of nerves all day today , I won't be able to sleep. Tommorrow could once again, bring about another nightmare, that could once again further change my life forever. I love you my sweet Bailey, mommy's girl....with all my heart.
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11 Jun 2003 - Emily Again
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I need to note once again the strange developments with Emily our Timneh African Grey. A sibling to Austin. I peaked in on her last night before bed, and there she was again on the floor with her beak pushed into the corner of her cage while Owen was perching. Why is she doing this???. Emily seems to be fine during the day, perching, eating, playing and vocalizing. She does have a quiet nap time during the mid afternoon......but at night, she acts unusal?. She gets very sleepy around 7pm. So I cuddle her for a bit and put her to bed around 8pm. She then seems to find comfort on the floor of her cage in the corner?. Emily has always seemed to like warmth and comfort a dark corner brings for her. I don't know why. Even if she makes her way into the kitchen for me, she runs to a dark corner and stands in it with her head down and beak stuffed as tightly as she can inot that corner. Weird. I did take her out and cuddled her. She again pulls her wings in so tightly to her body and crawls under my neck or chin while I wrap her with a blanket and snuggle her tightly. She loves this and sleeps peacefully without stirring. She's always been like that. I put her back to bed after awhile added our special Avian Heat panel to keep her cage warm, covered her and waited awhile. Checked again, and there she was on the perch with Owen. Mabe she does this because she wants out or doesn't want to go to bed? Or mabe she does this because she knows Austin is missing and this new behavour in her cage is a result of that? Or mabe she is not well and it shows in the evening? Mabe she is afraid of falling? (since she did fall 2x that i know off and so I raised her cage bottom) There are so many possiblities to Emily's behavour. I am worried about her. And once again, reality sets in. Emily and Owen are the 2 birds that we have labelled our highest risk at contracting PDD because of their close contact etc with Austin. Emily is next on my list. I will make an appt for her tommorrow during Bailey's Xray. I suppose this is what it will be like as we go through the process of creating a baseline to see who is possibly ill.
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