I am in just total devistation, I can bearly type.Austin gripped onto my arm last night as I was going to bed, tucking him in and this led me to believe he knew it was going to be his time. I held him to my bare chest tucked in dozens of blankets and craddled him all night long. I kept thinking any moment, not sure if he's suffering, or if he's just so tired, or if this is a temporary set back. It happened so quickly......fine happy in the morning, then when I cam back, I had that sick feeling in my stomach. He was no longer pooping, and regurgitating. I tried to feed little bits of pediatlye mixed with some formula. Sometimes he'd take it, other times, he wouldn't. He just slept under my chin with little movement all night long.
I never felt like time had passed so slowly.....watching the clock, waiting for 8am. I couldn't do anything for Austin last night, but comfort him. My vet is not available till 11am....and the OVC dr M. Taylor I am waiting for his call today. AFter laying in my arms so still all night, he jumped up and wanted in his critter pen. So, now he is sitting there under heat, with his little eyes half open. He doesn't want to be in my arms right now......yet, i want to comfort him. He started to poop again tho..and hasn't reguritated since feeding him this morning.
I don't know what to do ???. Is this a set back? Will he be okay? Or is he indeed suffering a slow starvation and suffering???. I wish i knew the answers. I wish I knew what to do.
So I sit here, waiting calls. And I have to make that decision today. And Im so afraid to make the wrong one. I don't want Austin suffer another day and night like last night.....yet, Im afraid if I wait too long, he' just may be suffering slowly. Or mabe he'll recover again.
Guys, I need some help......What do I do with my Austin? I've never in my life had to think of soemthing like this before. Ive never had to contipate ending a life...especially one that I love so dearly. Im so torn with so many feeling and emotions.
