14 Sep 2002 - Good Morning?
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11:31 AM ~ I just woke up. See what school is doing to my sleeping schedule? I'm waking up at 11:15 AM!!! I'm still extremely tired, I should still be asleep. Normally I would sleep until at LEAST 03:00 PM. Fuck :-(. Woe is me. Anyways, I think I'm going to make a doctors appointment soon and see if I can get a SSRI or a Tricylic. I really don't want to take MAOI, too many side-effects. I've been seriously depressed now for about two years, which essentially means that if I get out of my depression falling into another is inevitable. Considering that depression runs in my family (my mother has had a few depressions in her life, my grandfather commited suicide, and pretty much everyone else on my mums size has been seriously depressed at one point of another) med's proably won't ever help me. Hooray :(. The only thing that I refuse to do is therapy. I really don't feel comforatable talking to someone who I don't know about my life and how I feel. Current Mood:  Uneasy
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14 Sep 2002 - 9-14-2002
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04:27 PM ~ I'm having a really awful day. I'm so lonely, I can't take it anymore. I need some sort of outlet for everything. But I cannot find one. *sigh*. Today has pretty uneventful. I woke up, watched a movie, wrote for a little bit, cried a lot. A pretty normal Saturday. Shows how pathetic I really am. I'm not the person who I want to be anymore. I've always wanted to be creative, to be intelligent. I'm none of that. I'm a idiot who can't do anything right. I'm a loser without anyone to care for me. I'm unloved. Enough self-pity for now. More to come later. Current Mood:  Depressed
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