So... It's been nearly a year and a half now since Eric and I stopped exchanging e-mails... for several months back then I wanted to hook up with him again and he seemed interested as well when I contacted him, but for some reason it never materialized. And I don't blame myself for that; I certainly did all I could.So I decided, at that time, that it likely was never going to happen and to let it go. After those few months of getting nowhere, I decided to stop contacting him. And I haven't.
But for the past couple of days, I again -- against my better judgment -- have found myself thinking about him intensely and wondering what could have been. And I formed an intention in my mind that he and I were going to cross paths again soon -- somehow.
Well, last night, just out of the blue, I Googled his e-mail address -- the very suggestive one he used to communicate with me -- and, to my surprise, I found some gay porn online that he had written.
Truth be told, I'd already found one short porn piece of his several years ago, something he'd written back in 1999. It was a simple vanilla story about two guys messing around by the swimming pool of their apartment complex in the middle of the night. It was written in the first person and I'd assumed it was autobiographical. But that was the only published writing of Eric's I'd ever run across, and I assumed there were no more.
Until last night.
I found another work of his, this one much longer than the first and written shortly afterward. This one, in fact, is very long -- it's broken up into seven parts and I had to read through seven different files.
And I didn't like it at all. I had to force myself to read the thing beginning to end. The piece shows promise in him as a writer, but the reason I didn't like it is because of the subject matter -- way too edgy for my tastes.
The entire piece was about intergenerational incest... grandfathers and fathers and sons and uncles and nephews getting it on with each other... and there was also lots of, um, "water sports" and stuff I didn't quite buy, like storing semen in a vase in the refrigerator and spreading it on toast in the morning... Lots of kinky, perverted stuff. Yuck!
So this is a trip through Eric's mind, eh? Who knew?
Now here's the thing: I'm thinking I can use Eric's writing as an opening, a conversation starter, a way to break the ice, if you will, in contacting him again. And I'd also like to offer him the opportunity to read that one porn piece I wrote and published online a few years ago, and tell me what he thinks of it.
But I know he'll be expecting feedback from me on the stuff of his I read as well. And I simply can't lie and say I liked it. For me, the whole point of reading erotica is to get turned on... to get that feeling of "Ohhh, yeah!" and get so hot and bothered I can't stand it. And Eric's story certainly didn't make me feel that way. In fact, it was all I could do to keep from gagging while I was forcing myself to read it. Far from being erotic, I just found it a bunch of dull, boring depravity. I really wanted to like it... I really did... but I just didn't.
So what do I say to him?
Maybe I'll just say that the writing style was very engaging, but the subject matter just wasn't my thing, and leave it at that. I'll have to think about this for a little while.
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