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So, here I am...
17 May 2001 - Why I didn't get to uni.
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I was reading some of the journal entries made by the many people here at DD last night. What an amazing bunch of people. I read one entry that was like a blue movie. Of course I didn't stop reading it. Unlike if it had of been a film. I'd have probably cut away as wuick as I could. What is it about words that we feel is less of an impact than a picture? A picture paints a thusand words. But what about the words themselves? I read of people on the verge of desperation and those of the edge of boredom. It's certainly an interesting bunch. It also seems a lot of the entries were made by people in college or uni if they were Aussies like me. I never went to uni. When I left home, at 16, I moved in with a man I'd known for around one month. We were having a sexual relationship. One of my girlfriends moved in with us. All three of us, including several of his mates, proceeded to live like there was no future by trying our best to obliterate each day. I smashed my car the very first day. I lost my job pretty quickly afterwards. I was an apprentice chef at the time. Yeah, I know you aren't supposed to lose an apprenticeship, but that crook wasn't even letting me go to the courses. By the time I left the violent boyfriend I was glad to get any job they'd pay an eighteeen year old! Then I got wrapped up in preparing to travel with my friend Liz. I always felt sorry for her. She was so good about saving her money and I was shocking. That was when I went through this stage of scouring the sticky carpeted floor of night clubs for money to by another drink. What I'm getting at is: my life was not really together enough to cope with uni anyway. When I came over here to Perth I got saved, became a Christian. I focused on my life and relationship with Jesus. I married within the next two years. When my job fell through we started a famiay and I stayed home. I haven't regretted those decisions, not once. It was hubby who planted the idea of going to uni one day. He's always encouraging me. While I'm homeschooling it isn't possible for me to consider going, but perhaps I will when my son goes to Year eight or nine high school. My daughter will be in Year ten or eleven by then. I think they'd cope with a mother who was also studying. Because I love learning, I know I'd get a lot out of it, but for now it's just a dream. Gotta go.
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You can email the author at bookworm@deardiary.net
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