Hi! This is my life!
Be nice to it or I'll beat you with a big stick!
8 Dec 2002 - commenting on earlier comments
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perhaps i do "deserve what i get", but then this confuses me. what exactly did i deserve to have every guy i date become interested romantically/sexualy/etc with someone else while we were still dating? please explain this. *i stay with anthony because I see a lot of good in him. there's a lot of bad too, but at least there's good. *i stay with anthony because after jesse he was the first person that I felt like I could really trust and in fact one of the few that I can completely be myself without having to act to fit other's norms. *i stay with him because i'm scared because there is a lot more good with him then any other guy i've been with and yes, I'm scared that something as good isn't going to ever come along *i stay with anthony because I'm lonely at mac. although I love my friends very much, we're very different kinds of people. though they teach me a lot, I don't feel truely comfortable with most of them. It's getting better, it's still not quite right. <>*and strange enough, he is my best friend, even after all this crap that yes, has messed with our friendship, that's where he is. that doesn't mean that I like all of what he does, certainly not by far. and it's not like stopping it isn't tempting, because it is... but frankly, even if i wanted to, it's as good as impossible at macalester. what i would need just does not exist here. *shrugs, whatever* and recent events have, although made me upset, i think shown how much he's trying. we may all roll our eyes about it (no offense anthony), but for him it's huge strides
and we all have our flaws and our things that we do that are ridiculous and childish... all of us. myself definately included and this is some of his. in other comments, i am often confused as to people's motivations. my life and emotions are not a playground for random individuals. it is nothing but distructive when one does not bother to think about my circumstances and what I am saying. in other news, my paper is, um, stalling... nakamura's comments would have been useful, say, three days ago. now, when i have nearly the full lenght, it's not like I'm going to add say, three sources from journals that are peer edited *sigh* that and work's been nuts.....
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8 Dec 2002 - a reward for those who got through the previous journal
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the high lites from my paper, aren't you thrilled? Since the presence of the material is all the validity that one needs for the identity, e.g. a shojo is defined mostly on factors that can easily and fairly quickly be acquired; the identity can be easily claimed and just as easily discarded (McLellan 2). Although their weapons -cute merchandise, language and actions- are dismissed, they obviously still wound (McLellan 2). This concept seems flawed. Although the shojo act like children, they are (young) adults and sexual desire, whether directed towards a fantasy of cuteness or towards flabby older men, is still desire (McLellan 2). Since this sexual system may seem not sexual to those that are uninvolved in it and since its cute appearance dissuades those who might try to impart the sexual status-quo, it is also self-protective. By using kawaii image, shojo manage to remove themselves to the work-centered Japanese culture, reject the sexual relationship that they are supposed to desire, and create their own system of desire and relationships (McLellan 4). “I pretend to be cute at the office where I work part time. This is because I do not want to be bothered with complicated human relationships. You could say I abuse cuteness” (McVeigh 144). In one way, Napier is right and one can tell from the copious breast shots that the intended audience is not just female. However, even Ai has some pluck (McLellan 8-9). Between the pressure from young women and the current economic recession, it seems unlikely that salaryman masculinity will continue to have any power (McLellan 13).
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You can email the author at wonderlandkat@hotmail.com
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