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27 Jan 2002 - Kiss of Death
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Today was one messed up day at work. Busy and working by myself. I had to wash this extremely over-weight yellow lab. I tried to pick it up and couldnt get a good hold on it. All those rolls of fat kept moving around. I finally got fatty in the tub, lathered up, and soaking while I started on another dog. Time came to finish up ole lard butt. Got her rinsed, conditioned and towel dried. Then I had my inspriational thought, I would do her nails in the tub, save some time..Ha..Ha..little did I know this would lead to a look at the face of death(dramatic pause here).
Got my nail trimmer and trimmed the nails on the front paws, things were going great, was patting myself on the back. Made tubby stand up so I could do her back nails. Got the paw closest to me done with no problems, then it happened.
Had to lean into the tub to reach the other back leg, was trimming, when all of a sudden, the dog sat down...on my head. One side of my face was kissing the bottom of the tub, the other side of my face was being kissed by the dogs big ole butt-hole. Shock hit me, then mentally read my funeral notice..woman dies when found with her head stuck in dogs butt. I reached up finally and gave her tail a yank and she stood back up...freedom was mine!!!
In that first moment of freedom I grabbed the shampoo and washrag and washed my face. Been kissed by alot of things, but that pucker is one I never want to feel pressed against me again.
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27 Jan 2002 - Hump Day
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Yep, today was Saturday, but any day can be hump day when you work with dogs. The violater walked in the door around 9:00, this all happened before the kiss of death. Description on the violater: six months old..white..poodle..name, CoCo. CoCo, was a happy boy, came into the shop all doggie grins and waggy tail. His owner decided she wanted a fancier clip on CoCo, so we had to spend some time talking about the cut. CoCo, whined and begged, he wanted down to scope out the shop and check out all the goodies,..WRONG...CoCo wanted my leg.
Owner puts CoCo down, he runs to my leg, climbs on, closes his doggie eyes in delight as he starts to pleasure himself. I try to ingnore for it a few seconds,hoping the owner would chastise her hormonal pup. But no it was, Look, he wants to dance. Wasnt gonna explain dog sex to her, so I picked the dog up and handed it back to her. Owner finally decides what she wants done, hands me CoCo back and leaves. I tell CoCo about sharp instruments, and what happens to little things that poke out when they shouldnt..they usually get snipped off. CoCo didnt listen. Put him on my table, first thing he does is grab my arm, eyes already closed with the thoughts of delight I guess. Push him off, he tries again, finally get him ready for tub. The whole bath was lather dog, knock dog off arm, rinse dog, knock dog off arm, condition dog, knock dog off arm...Horniest dog I have ever seen. Started drying dog, he humps dryer hose the whole time, thought what the heck it wasnt my arm this time. Time to finish clip, pick up clippers, knock dog off arm..etc..etc. It never stopped the little horn dog never got tired of moving those hips. Called owner, told her maybe she should look into neutering CoCo..humping all the time was NOT exceptable social behavior. Her reply was OH No, I love it when we dance together...EEEWWWHHHH! Sex and Death my day had it all.
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Give a second chance to an abused or abandoned dog or cat, visit your local Shelters or Humane Socities for your next four-legged family member...ADOPT dont SHOP.
You can email the author at annbaker69@hotmail.com
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