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26 Jan 2002 - Wrestling Doggie Style
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Today I entered the competition for Dog Wrestling. I had to take a 9 month old lab over to the vet for shots. He weights about 80 pounds and the owner, smirked at me and said it took three people to give him a shot last time. Ha, Ha..knew this one was gonna be fun.
Get him to the vets and they are short handed, just me and vet for this big fella. First I wrap my arms around him and try to hold him still. He shakes me off right away. So, Then I kneel over him and put him in a headlock. He head butts me a few times, rears back and shakes me loose. So I jump back at the dog and sit on his back, he rolls over and punches me in the stomach. Dog is having one hell of a good time. Then he grabs my pants leg and tries to take me down. Here I am yanking at this dogs head and he is yanking at my leg. Finally keep my pants up and get my leg away from the bozo. Vet is getting a little tried of me and the dog rolling on the floor. So I jump on the dogs back again, wrap my legs around him, put him in a head lock. I am literally wrapped around this dog. He gets up and tries to walk away, but ole Ann has been eating her twinkies, and he couldnt shake off my big ole butt. So dog tries the headbutt trick again, he gets a few good hits in, when I just see totally red and do something the dog, the vet and even I didnt expect. I bit him. Only thing free was my mouth so I bit his ear. Dog sat still, vet gave the shots, I got to get off the dog. The vet filled out the paperwork for the shots quietly. So I thought my little slip of control was unnoticed. As I started out the door the Vet called to me, Ann, did you do what I think you did. I tried the ole innocent eyes..What?,but it never works for me. Should I check the dog for rabies now?..ha, ha..everybody is a comedian. I am deffinately getting too old for this job.
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26 Jan 2002 - Setting the record straight
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I promised everyone in my shop I would write this. Seems they were all afraid I would write about them and none about myself at all. For those of you that dont know me, I am Ann, 35 years old, married, 3 kids, 5 dogs, 4 cats and as an old joke goes a tankful of dead fish. I am opinionated, stubborn, hard-headed..yada, yada, yada. But they want me to talk about my little habits and traits they have come to love.
Hi, my name is Ann and I am a smoker. Have been for years. Bosses do not want smoking in our building so I dont keep anything like ashtrays, etc for them to see. I have a backdoor to stand out of but heck it does rain and snow here. So I put my butts out in a half empty coke can. Becky will tell you, I take a drink out of the butt can at least twice a day. Why? you ask....I cant say..I reach for the first thing that feels like a coke and take a drink. Yes, I have moved it, but it never fails to be in my reach when I want a drink.
Jen would love to tell you about my problems with doors. We have half-doors at the kennel.You have to lock the top to the bottom, doorknob is on the bottom door. It never fails to be unlocked at least 3 times a day and I am the one that winds up walking into the top half. Grab doorknob, walk thru door, get whooped in the head, yep, I do go out of my way to amuse my employees.
We are not used to having a man around the kennel, for some reason I am the one that goes to the bathroom sometime after Tex and fall into the potty, because he left the seat up.
If there is poop anywhere on the floor, I will be the one to step, sit, or slide in it. This was done just to set the record straight...I really am a level-headed, resposible person..really I am...
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26 Jan 2002 - Get Thee Behind Me Satan
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Nope, havent started to preach and wave the bible. Satan is the cat that lives in my grooming shop. Got a call from a client about 2 months ago. Ann, please, please take my cat. We are allergic and she needs a home. How old I ask and what does she look like. Three months old and persian...Persian..love em bring her in. Well, the client kinda opens the front door to the shop and sticks her head in, Hiya, in a hurry just gonna drop the kitten off. With that introduction she tosses in a bundle of hair. It hits the floor and starts that little tornado that the taz devil does, got a glimpse of dagger claws, pointed teeth and poop flying in many directions. Cat suddenly puts on the brakes, shifts gears and hauls butt to the back of the shop. Well, from what I saw, it wasnt a kitten, it wasnt a persian..it was Edward Scissorhands, all sharp pointy things. During all that I didnt even hear the client slam the door,peel out of the parking lot..probably screaming SUCKER!!!! I set up front a moment mentally kicking my own butt for getting myself in this position. Physco cat was no where to be seen. So decided to make the best of it and put together the essentials of living with a cat..litter box, litter scoop, litter deordorizer, food and water. So I put everything for the cat in the backroom, arranging things for comfort(my comfort, cat poop stinks, so I pushed the litterpan closer to Becky). Was standing back looking at my arranging skills, when I heard a noise behind me, PSSTHT!!SPIT!!!scratchy sound on linenolum...RRRREEEEAAHHH!!! Swung around and there was the cat, puffed up to three times its size, its back arched, and blood in its eye, Hey people, I am no coward, but cat bites put me in the hospital atleast 4 times a year. So it was my turn to haul butt..cat chased my butt all the way back up front, turned and left me alone. Everything ended fine that day cat had the backroom, I had the frontroom. But tomorrow would be another story. I always get into work first, went in and stuck my head into the backroom, cat somehow knew I was there came out puffed, huffed, one bad-ass cat. So I sat up front until the others came in. Becky, came in next, I didnt tell her about the cat. She goes back into the backroom. She yells at me Ann, theres a cat loose..I yell back that aint no cat that is the devil..Whose cat, Ann? Uh....Uh..UH..our cat, Becky shouts OUR CAT,..followed by @#$%#@kick the#@$%#$%shit*&^%outta it$#@%if it%$#@bites me...For two weeks the cat would pop out of hinding any time she please and try to shred us. She tolerates us all now and lives up front where she hassels the clients. She made one old lady look like a one-armed juggler the other day. Little sweet grandmother type holding her precious little poodle. I didnt even see that darn cat, but she came flying from somewhere landing right in front of the old ladys face and looked her in the eye. Old Lady threw her poodle into the air, screeched, then fumbled over her head to catch the poodle, poodle to the left..poodle to the right, finally she grabs the dog tightly and looks at me..UH,,Uh..uh..good catch was about all I could say. Man, comes in to buy some dog food, cat is laying on the counter, the man ignores the cat, she rolls and twist to get his attention, mews softly..man still ignores her,intent on writing out his check, she gets up, stretches, bends her head, bites the pen out of his hand and runs off with it..Looked at the Fella, and offer new pen, wasnt gonna take that one away from her. But her all time favorite prank is to hide in the smaller food bags and when a client pulls one off, pop up and jump near them....BAD CAT, but a hell of alot of fun to watch . Satan is her name and she is bad to the bone...but I wouldnt trade her for the world.
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Give a second chance to an abused or abandoned dog or cat, visit your local Shelters or Humane Socities for your next four-legged family member...ADOPT dont SHOP.
You can email the author at annbaker69@hotmail.com
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