I’m back on anti-anxiety medicines for my obsessive-compulsive disorder. Now this means I can finally sleep a minimum of 4 hours a night without getting up every half hour to empty out the cupboards or refrigerator, clean and disinfect everything, put everything back inside, and then wake up again at 0300 hours to repeat the whole ‘disaster aversion procedure’. It also means I can finally get to work early because I am not taking up over half an hour to turn back, check the locks again, open the door, check the light and appliance switches and taps, lock up again and then turn back and repeat my ‘checking routine’ seven times. When I paid a visit to my good friend Dr. Herbert, I told him that I have everything under control and just needed drugs as a short term measure until I get everything else sorted out. I explained that I didn’t need therapy because I am smarter than any therapist and it was unlikely that any of them would be able to help me. Dr. H agreed with me readily.
Everything has been going as well as it could so far after medical intervention. Alprazolam (Xanax) does, however, leave me feeling dozy and unexcited about things, but I found that the solution lies in drinking Red Bull an hour after taking Xanax to provide me with sufficient stimulation and to keep me alert and interested in things.
I’ve changed my mind about prescription medicines. Taking a prescribed drug when you need it doesn’t necessarily mean you are weak. For people like me, it could mean the difference between functioning at near optimum levels and keeping your job, and letting everything slide and allowing an otherwise minor mental illness to take over your life.
Saturday, 5th July 2008 – Sunday, 6th July 2008: Little Big Dog Undergoes Surgery
Little Big Dog
Went back to the parental home on Friday night so we could get Little Big Dog ready for his neutering appointment the following morning. The Twin and his Girl were understandably tense and worried about the surgery despite my assurances that it’s only a superficial cut for boy dogs, and that it would heal quickly, especially since we had opted to get it done early.
Initially it was agreed that it would just be the 3 of us accompanying Little Big Dog to the SPCA for the surgery, but when Dad wanted to come along “to offer moral support”, I had to put my foot down. It was going to be a surgical procedure, not a rock concert, and it would do Little Big Dog more good to have The Parents waiting for him at home to get his bed all nice and ready for him, than have the whole family crowding poor Dr. Pushpa’s surgery and wringing their hands in agony.
The deed was done in half an hour. I didn’t even have time to help out much in the shelter, except to help Wolfhound transfer a balefully growling cat into his new cage. The Twin carried Little Big Dog to my car and his Girl held LBD in the backseat while I drove us all home.
Little Big Dog recovered from the effect of the anaesthetics by afternoon, and Mom and I gave him lunch to make up for his having to fast the night before. He was groggy but otherwise in good spirits and could play with Amber without stumbling and bumping into things.
I spent Saturday and Sunday at the parental home watching over Little Big Dog and cleaning up the parental home. Washed the rugs and doormats, cleaned out the living and dining room cabinets, wiped down and polished everything, spring cleaned my bedroom, spruced up the yard, bathed Amber, prepared dog meals 3 times a day and finally completed my 20-page report on the Climate Change seminar in the afternoon when everyone was napping.
It was an uneventful weekend otherwise, which judging by the circumstances, was highly welcome because it meant that Little Big Dog could have time to recover from the surgery without much incident.
Wednesday, 9th July 2008: 3R Workshop and Kitty Vaccination
I had applied for half a day’s leave on 9th July, as I had promised to conduct an after-hours 3R workshop at a shipping and construction multinational in conjunction with the company’s World Environment Month.
As the company was not far from the SPCA, I took the opportunity to make an appointment with the SPCA to have Keisha and her kittens vaccinated on the same day. The kittens are about 2 ½ months old now, and all as active and loveable as can be. One of the kittens (Shasta), however, trembled and wobbled a lot, long after his siblings had developed a steadier gait, which led me to suspect that he had Cerebellar Hypoplasia . Dr. Lim confirmed my diagnosis and advised me to put him to sleep. I refused to agree to it, and rightfully so, because apart from a slightly awkward gait and a twitch, Shasta is perfectly fine. Cerebellar Hypoplasia is not an infectious or degenerative condition. Shasta’s condition is unlikely to get worse, and he does not need medication. More importantly, he is NOT in pain and is NOT suffering. You do not execute a human being with a facial tic, so why should a cat’s life be terminated if his quality of life is otherwise relatively high?
I vow to find him a good home and failing that, I will care for him myself. I had Keisha and her kittens vaccinated and returned to their carrier, paid for their vaccination at the shelter office, and made my way to the auditorium where I was to deliver my presentation.
I started with the screening of The Story of Stuff , followed by a discussion of Reduce, Reuse and Recycling in the waste hierarchy, plus interactive activities and checklists. It went well, and I was pleased that the video ran smoothly. I have given the same speeches on green living, the 3Rs, energy conservation and getting started in activism so many times now that I could probably render them in my sleep.
For my efforts, the Malaysian Nature Society’s Green Living group will receive a cheque for a pre-agreed sum of money, which I will utilize for our future conservation and education activities. I brought the cats home in the evening, gave them a treat of fish with cod liver oil and Liv 5.2., cleaned the Bachelor Officers’ Quarters and got started on reviewing the Environmental Quality Act.
Saturday, 12th July 2008 – Sunday, 13th July 2008: SPCA Saturday and Serene Sunday
One and a half weeks more before Keisha and her babies can be put up for adoption. It was another busy day at the SPCA. I arrived at the shelter around noon to find that the front area was packed with visitors. I hope they were all potential adopters, because our animals are in very urgent need of new homes.
I got my dog-bathing and tick-washing gear and proceeded to bathe and de-tick all the dogs in Kennels G and E. Rose joined me later and we managed to bathe almost all the dogs from the two kennels between us. It remained thankfully warm until around 1630h, when the skies began to get dark.
After Rose, the vets and the staff left the shelter around 1700h, Reve and I let the dogs out to play in the compound and began cleaning the shelter. I started by soaping and disinfecting Kennels E, G and H, and then moved on to cleaning the Reception/Admin/Office areas, the maternity kennels, the puppy kennels and the Cattery.
It was while cleaning the Cattery that something terrible happened. I heard meowing and yowling from the guttering and tried fruitlessly to pry the metal grating open to get the cat out. Something was pulling the cat backwards, and I hoped he hadn’t snagged himself on something sharp. The cat finally managed to free himself and shot out of the gutter and to the dark recesses of the Cattery, and I went after him in hot pursuit to see if he was badly hurt.
Linda then came in crying and holding part of the cat’s tail that had been torn off by dogs. The cat had somehow managed to escape from the Cattery through the gutter system because the metal barriers were no longer secure. I tried to pick up the severely bleeding and traumatized cat but he was too fierce to be handled even with gloves on.
“Somebody, get me some wound spray, I think I can save this cat”, I cried, but before I could get the medicine out of Reve’s basket, Muniandy had entered the Cattery and put the unfortunate cat to sleep. Linda cried because she blames the cat’s death on the poor living conditions in our underfunded shelter, while I cried because I believed I could have saved the cat, even if it meant selling my soul to pay for the vet bills.
I was feeling very depressed by the time I finished cleaning the rest of the shelter. I hate it that the battle against animal cruelty is far from over. I hate it even more that our shelter is so underfunded and poorly run and there are never enough adopters for all our beautiful babies. I hate it most of all that I wasn’t able to save every one of the beautiful animals from euthanasia.
A torn tail and spine may look gruesome but it isn’t a death sentence. I would have sold myself to raise the funds to pay for the poor kitty’s vet bills. The tail would have to be amputated and the wounds stitched up. It would take him 2 – 3 months to heal. Then I could have him vaccinated and neutered and released. He is an adult cat and plenty streetwise. He could live in my house, like Halle does, and roam the garden and surrounding areas. It would not be a bad life at all.
I was so blue when I got back to the parental home that Mum asked me why I looked so tired and down in the dumps. I told her about the cat and she was shocked and upset. She too said that we could have raised the money together to save the poor kitty. But as I had explained before, shelter animals are routinely euthanized for lesser reasons. Even the healthy young ones are euthanized rather than neutered and released. I felt really gloomy thinking about all the animals I didn’t manage to help, but I was also immensely grateful to Mum for her understanding and support. I think I have a very special mother, because I can’t think of a great number of people (especially retirees who don’t have very much money) who would want to take the effort to save a wounded cat when there were so many healthy ones being put down too.
I felt better by Sunday morning and got up in time to help Mum prepare lunch for the family. Gave Amber a bath and tick-washed both Amber and Little Big Dog, who has made a full recovery from the neutering procedure. Cleaned the kitchen and the laundry area. After lunch, I asked Mum to come spring clean her closet so I’d have some company while I spring cleaned her room. Managed to pick out a lot of clothes to be given to charity (refugee settlements and indigenous communities). Then I cleaned the living and dining rooms while waiting for the thunderstorm to let up so I could take the dogs out on a car ride. Little Big Dog didn’t want to go and struggled mightily, so in the end, only Amber went on a car ride with me. Mum and I walked the dogs around 1900h after the rain.
Fed the dogs, had dinner, did the washing up and went back to the Bachelor Officers’ Quarters around 2200h. Looked in on Keisha and her babies. Good ol’ Jess had already cleaned up their cage and fed them. Jake, Jess and I watched CSI together, and I kept myself busy sorting and folding clothes and folding the newspaper sheets for cleaning the cat litter up with. I tidied the ‘Quarters, sorted out my clothes and files for the following day, retired to bed with Tintin’s Adventure of the Red Sea Sharks, and hoped that the following week would be much better.
Thursday, 17th July 2008: The Great Fuel Debate
Was home by 2000h on Tuesday night to catch the Great Fuel Debate between de facto Opposition leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim and Information Minister Datuk Ahmad Shabery Cheek on cable TV. What is at stake is the future of our country.
Anwar was brilliant. He addressed the issues raised and provided intelligent responses that reflected a true understanding of economic principles and genuine concern for the welfare of the populace. Shabery, on the other hand, did not seem to appreciate the ground rules of debating and resorted to making cheap and tacky personal attacks. This could have been an excellent opportunity for the Government to persuade us that if we gave the ruling coalition a bigger mandate in the next General Elections, they could lead Malaysia into economic recovery and even prosperity. The Government’s representative squandered that opportunity. Too bad, retard. You had one chance to redeem yourselves in our eyes and you totaled it. We have no confidence in the Information Minister. We have no confidence in the PM. We have no confidence in Barisan Nasional. Is that unambiguous and unequivocal enough?
But before we could congratulate ourselves and go about the streets pumping each other’s hands over what a great democratic country ours is to allow televised debates of such nature, the police had arrested our man Anwar for an uncorroborated charge of sodomy. Can you spell Sore Loser?
Anwar was freed on police bail this morning. Shabery is probably in hiding and shitting bricks and pinecones right now. We’re going to have to keep a close watch on this case to make sure Anwar gets a fair trial, if any. I doubt that the prosecution could even raise a prima facie case.
21st July 2008: More animal shelter updates
Jake left for Kuldeep’s wedding in Ipoh on Friday night, so things were pretty quiet at the Bachelor Officer’s Quarters. Soldier Man informed me that he would be going birding with the bird group on Saturday morning, and later, frogging at FRIM with Najwa and the herpetology group. Looks like I’m missing out on a lot of fun in life. My entire life is consumed by work.
Things at work are not so good, but I’m trying to keep on top of things and see this as an opportunity to improve myself as a lawyer and an individual. I’ve had to bring work home again this weekend, just so things won’t be so crazy when I come back on Monday, so I’ll have to try to fit it all in.
Went to the market on Saturday morning to hand over the recyclable items to the charity truck man and to buy garlic to be cooked in the SPCA animals’ food. I had Keisha and her babies in the car, as well as a signboard I made for Shasta to explain his condition to others. This is what my signboard says:
“SHASTA (SIAMESE KITTEN, 3 MONTHS OLD)
Hi, I’m Shasta. I’m twitching because I have Cerebellar Hypoplasia. This means that when I was born, the part of my brain known as the cerebellum was not completely mature.
• Cerebellar Hypoplasia is NOT CONTAGIOUS. I cannot infect humans or other animals.
• There is no cure for Cerebellar Hypoplasia. However, I am expected to have a NORMAL LIFESPAN and am otherwise healthy, active and cheerful.
• I do NOT need medication for Cerebellar Hypoplasia. I can eat wet and dry cat food and can use the litter tray just like any normal kitty.
• I do NOT require any SPECIAL CARE or medical treatment.
• I was VACCINATED on 9 July 2008 and responded well to the vaccination.
• My condition CANNOT GET WORSE. I will not grow lame or paralyzed. However, my twitching will not get better either.
• My IMMUNE SYSTEM is otherwise NORMAL. Cerebellar Hypoplasia does not make me weak or sickly.
• I am NOT IN PAIN and am NOT SUFFERING. Please do not suggest that I be put to sleep just because I twitch a little. I can lead a happy, healthy and long life.
• Having Cerebellar Hypoplasia SIMPLY means I may have some coordination problems and will always be a little WOBBLY.
• I have adapted to my condition and am as ACTIVE as my brothers and sisters. I can run, climb and jump almost as well as they can.
• However, I need to live INDOORS in a SAFE ENVIRONMENT because I may not be able to escape from danger as quickly as a normal kitty can.
• I am CUDDLY and AFFECTIONATE and would love to live with you in your home.
PLEASE BRING ME HOME. I MIGHT JUST BE ONE OF THE BEST FRIENDS YOU COULD EVER HAVE.
Love,
Shasta”
I hope someone decides to bring little Shasta home. If I fail to get him rehomed, I would keep him myself, but it would mean that I would not be able to do any more stray rescue work due to lack to funds, resources, space, time and manpower. As it is, I am already skipping meals almost every day to be able to afford high quality pet food, supplements and vitamins and vet bills for all my little ones under Project Second Chance. I’m not sure how many more sacrifices I will be able to make before I burn myself out completely.
Arrived at the shelter and handed the garlic over to Sugen for refrigeration and with strict instructions not to overdose the dogs with garlic. Rose assisted me in getting a large cage cleaned, lined and ready for Keisha and her babies. I put up Shasta’s sign and another informing the visitors of the cats’ ages, sex and vaccination status. Gave them food and water, kissed each of my kitties for luck and kept my fingers crossed. Then Rose and I got the dog-bathing things ready so we could bathe and medicate the shelter dogs.
There was a group of 19 teenage volunteers from the Rotaract Club of Inti College Subang Jaya today, and they were a great help to us. They had spent most of the morning helping Reve and the general workers clean cages and kennels, and they came back after lunch to help Rose and I bathe the dogs. Most of the youngsters have pets at home and were confident about handling dogs, unlike many of the volunteers we have encountered in the past. I got them to help me bathe and tickwash the dogs from Kennels B, B-Extension, Sick Bay and the dogs at large that have the run of the Central Area and Front Area. A few of the youngsters asked pertinent questions related to animal health and behavior, and showed genuine concern over the welfare of strays and shelter animals. I wish we had more volunteers like them.
In the evening, I managed to get 2 kittens adopted after official closing hours, but not Keisha or my own kitties. I hope someone falls in love with my beautiful babies and decides to bring them home. It hurts me to have to give them up for adoption after caring for them for 3 months, but that’s something every animal rescuer has to learn to come to terms with.
The wonderful volunteers from Inti College had already scrubbed and disinfected the Cattery and Maternity Kennels before they left at 1500 hours, so I only had to wash the Reception/Admin areas and the Puppy areas today. There was a mother dog I recognized from a few weeks ago, but she looked lost and lonely without her puppy. I asked Reve if her puppy had been adopted. Reve responded that her puppy had died of distemper. That made me very sad, because the mother dog was a very young one and had relied on her puppy for companionship. They looked so happy playing together. I could understand the little dog’s loss, but could not comfort her or replace her puppy with another. Why is death so cruel and arbitrary? Why do the neediest animals never get to enjoy even a few days of a good life before they leave this world?
I cleaned up the shelter, cleaned myself up, kissed Keisha and her babies goodnight and drove home with two empty pet carriers in the backseat and a hole in my heart the size of a mother cat and her four kittens.
Cleaned up the Bachelor Officers’ Quarters, fed the cats, showered and went back to the parental home. I had a load of ironing to do before I could get started on reviewing the two agreements I brought home, but I fortunately managed to finish the ironing around midnight. Completed reviewing 1 ½ agreements before I dozed off without the benefit of Xanax.
Woke up on Sunday to the sound of Little Big Dog ripping the straps off my crocs outside my bedroom window. I know those sandals are ugly, but they’re not good to eat. Gave Amber a bath and tickwashed both dogs. Helped Mum prepare lunch and cleaned the kitchen. Read the Sunday papers. Cleaned the parental home and polished the furniture. Spring cleaned the display cabinets.
Little Big Dog’s stitches had not come off entirely by themselves, so I had to engage Mum’s help to distract him while I snipped the stitches off. We couldn’t do it when The Twin was at home, because he was convinced I would end up cutting his precious dog. I’ve done it before and know how it’s done. I had Mum occupy Little Big Dog with biscuits so I could flip him onto his side, clip the ends off the threads and pull the threads out. I got it right the first time. Mum and I make such a great team!
Took the dogs out for walks in the evening, tidied the garden, swept the yard and driveway and mopped the living room floor. Left the parental home after dinner. Stopped by the night market for fresh produce before heading back to the Bachelor Officers’ Quarters.
I’ll be going on a company trip to Bangkok on Friday, 25th July. I guess that’s as good a break from monotony as any.
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