Dear Diary, I should be sleeping now. I have to wake up early tommorrow and go for my X rays before I head to work... Im so tired.
I went to the Doc today. Its a new Doc, and my first impression of him is very very good. He took his time with me, listened, explained, and probed me for any other medical concerns. But the real shocker was when he handed me the prescriptions and walked me out. Usually Doctors send their nurses in and leave me to my own devices.
I asked my mother "Is he ALWAYS like this?". She told me he was. I just went in to get my back treated, and in addition we ended up addressing my arthritis and my depression. He gave me some samples of Zoloft, and prescribed a small dose of steroid for my arthritis. That scares me.
I only take the steroid for 6 days, but it stays in your system for months. It lowers your immune system so I have to be careful for the next 12 months. It also has alot of side effects. One of the things that stuck out in my head was reading about the vomiting of a material that looks like coffee grounds. Rare, but possible. It grossed me out. I am an EXTREMELY squeemish person. If I think of something that revolts me, my nose and body begin to itch. Now, my poor nose is red from me rubbing it. OOH! Thats so gross.
I hate it when I cant get gross things out of my head. I still remember an episode of the Simpsons where Homers eyes crusted over. It made me sick, and I still squirm when I think about it. And that was a freaking CARTOON!
EEW. And there are about 21 pills I have to take in the course of 6 days. Today I do my first 6, them tommorrow I do 5, then 4, and so on. I have to take each dose with food. I dont think I can eat that much. Then I have pain meds that I have to take with food too. God, I can see my pants getting tight already.
I dont know how people with AIDS, Cancer, and other diseases do it. Bless them. Just this bit of meds freaks me out.
I saw a Prime Time report today about a man named Bob who does amazing work with silicone. He makes prosthetic body parts for people who have been disfigured. Thats one of my greatest fears. Watching the show tonight made me realise that I am very lucky. My health, my image, and so much more could be devastating...but in comparison to these people it's not.
Its funny when I think of the way I really feel about things. I have my moments of self pity, then I have my moments of deep spiritual gratitude. I dont know. Another funny thing about me is that even though I have my beliefs about men, I prefer them as doctors. My mother says I'm sexist - against women. HA! HA! HA!
XOXO,
Ley-I need to eat more apples-Ley
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