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19 Dec 2008 - that is just sooo wrong
I saw this on tru.tv last night. The guy in the story looked like my co-worker so I had to look it up on line and make sure it wasn't him. Since I went through the trouble of looking it up I thought I'd post it here (for entertainment, of course). I know keeping the excitement alive in the marriage bed is difficult, but come on.

No Picnic: Man Charged With Screwing a Patio Table (3/08)
Police in Ohio say that a married father of three has confessed to repeatedly having sex with his patio picnic table.
Art Price, Jr., 40, has been charged with four counts of public indecency after a neighbor videotaped him getting all nasty with the umbrella hole in the middle of his plastic picnic table. Apparently preferring the table's legs in the air, Price reportedly flipped the table over before forcing himself inside of it.
Price admitted that his skeevy antics took place both inside and outside of his home, and police say he did his table humping in broad daylight, not far from a school.
4/2/08 UPDATE: Authorities have dropped the indecency charges against Price, after deciding the evidence didn't support the case for a felony. Prosecutors say, however, that they may revisit the case later.

takeiteasy says:You Americans are so ridiculous! Don't you have anything better to do? Let the man have sex with his picnic table! Why is that your concern? Can't see why that should be illegal now? Do picnic tables have rights now as well? There is sex in this world! And you can't make this illegal or you all will die out! Get over it!
You guys see a sexual offender around every corner! Get a live. Or go to Europe for a change the get your twisted relationship to sexuality sorted out!

reggie says:This was all just a big misunderstanding. The story was that he had been outside setting up the patio furniture and asked his wife if she thought they should use that old patio table again this season. She yelled out to him "Ah fuck that table. It's looking shabby." So that's what he did. U can't really fault him. He was doing what he was told.

Another story that can't go unmentioned:
Bristol Palin's Future Mother-In-Law Arrested On Drug Charges
A 42-year-old Wasilla woman was arrested Thursday at her home by Alaska State Troopers with a search warrant in an undercover drug investigation. Sherry L. Johnston was charged with six felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance.

19 Dec 2008 - Bush announces auto rescue plan
Government to loan GM and Chrysler $13.4 billion from Wall Street bailout fund so that the embattled auto firms don't run out of cash. (CNN)
With these loans, Treasury will have committed virtually all of the $350 billion of that fund that it can hand out without additional authorization from Congress. Once Congress releases the other $350 billion, the two automakers will be able to borrow an additional $4 billion.
GM will get $9.4 billion from the first allocation of federal loan money, while Chrysler would get the other $4 billion.
The loans are for three years but the money will have to be repaid in full within 30 days if the firms do not show themselves to be viable by March 31. It is expected that the companies will have to negotiate new agreements with unions and creditors in order to do so.
In a statement, President-elect Barack Obama said today's loan was "a necessary step to help avoid a collapse in our auto industry that would have devastating consequences for our economy and our workers"
Obama added that "the auto companies must not squander this chance to reform bad management practices and begin the long-term restructuring that is absolutely required to save this critical industry and the millions of American jobs that depend on it."

Latest From Late Night Comedians
Jay Leno: "The roads were closed in Malibu. In fact, there was so much snow, a lot of celebrities couldn't get to the global warming conference."

Jay Leno: "I tell you," the "economy's rough. ... People are standing behind President Bush just to get the free shoes."

Jay Leno: "And the Mexican government has opened up a telephone hotline here for illegal immigrants living in Arizona. Yeah. Here's the best part, the calls are answered by a guy in India."

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