It seems the days are growing together. We've spent many in this awful, unnatural place. I have gained a closeness with the Mother and can feel a touch on her skin, like a taint.. I doubt the others have noticed the feeling the same way I have. Though I do believe they all feel the sensation of wrongness in this place... Nevertheless.. I began my day as I begin each. I rose with the dawn. It's nice to have such a comfortable bed, though I don't sleep. At least the sorcerer is good for something. Of course I joke.. Though I think we could do without the familiar sometimes. But his tail feathers do make the best arrow ends.So.. I rose with the dawn and took a moment to find a quiet spot to commune with nature and my Goddesses. As like most mornings I passed Lia and said a quick good morning. I found a quiet spot. It felt almost untouched. A small grove of trees beside a pool of water. I felt drawn to it actually. Perhaps it was because of my recent meeting with the Faes under the Mound. After unlocking that part of myself I feel even more attuned to nature and much more attuned to fae kind.
I think the grove may have belong to a dryad. That would almost explain the feeling of almost normalcy there. Maybe she managed to keep the scourge back some way? I found a small ring of mushrooms and left an offering of mead there, just in case, before settling into a spot under a tree.
Carefully I took out my little clay goddesses and unwrapped the fabric around each before resting them against the tree. Unusual as it may seem I've felt more and more like I need these icons to focus. I've felt myself loosing part of my skills.. Though I've gained even more than I had before. I feel more like my Mother. Maybe that's why the bow spoke to me? It needed the hands of one attuned to the Mother to wield it. My Father respects nature, but he was always more a guide and a ranger then a druid as my Mother.
But.. Again I get off topic. I settled my goddesses into place and said a quiet prayer to each. I asked Indira for wisdom. I asked Gaia for strength like the rocks. I asked Epona to grant me forgiveness for any wild lives I may take. And I asked Maab for her guile and cleverness. I left each goddess an offering at her feet. A flower for Gaia, an acorn cup of milk with honey for Maab, a bit of wheat for Epona and a feather for Indira.
I could here the sounds of camp a few yards away.. Thokk lumbering about and the early morning squabbles between Estas and Alrik. I think this almost relaxes me. A bit of normalcy and familiarity in the middle of things spun out of control. This morning I had more trouble focusing myself, though. I don't lack a kinship with the goddesses. I just find it harder to center myself before I meditate on my spells.
I finally finished and picked up each of the figurines, wrapping them back up and settling them into their velvet pouch. The flower went into a pool with a whispered thank you to the dryad I felt sure was there before I headed back... To find Thokk cooking breakfast. Uck... Never a pleasant experience. I muttered something about fasting and strolled away to sneak a grain cake. At least he tries.
The rest of the day we spent mostly on foot travel. It was an amazingly quiet day. Just a few small encounters with monsters. Nothing to big. In fact, I don't even feel as though I gained much in the way of real experience from these battles.
Ubu and I spent a little time in quiet conversation. Since I awakened him he's become very glib. He's more chatty then Estas. Although, we did have a good talk concerning my feelings of being off balance. He thinks it may be the recent changes, which I thought to. Though he raised the point that I am still approaching my prayers and focusing from the same angle I approached before. I have changed more than a little and should approach from a new mindset, one that matches my new self. It makes sense, honestly. How a wolf can have that much wisdom I'll never know.
By the end of the day I was quite ready for rest. I took a moment to go out under the full moon and stand quietly. This time I came as only a druid and as fae touched. I felt better. More even. I think that damned wolf was exactly right. It's a sad day when your animal companion is more wise than you.
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