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4 May 2001 - Guys are confusing
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Ok yea! so anyways, lemme just start off with this...
WHY ARE GUYS SO CONFUSING?
For example..my boyfriend is confusing as hell and if not confusing then frustrating..and my best friends boyfriend..well ok hes just your typical guyToday...john *my bf* was acting incredibly nice and then decided OH I THINK IM GOING TO IGNORE MALLORY AND HANG OUT WITH MY EX? can you say...WTF??? Oh and about guys being typical guys...my friends bf likes to play it off like hes "mad at us" ..immature PARTY OF 1 your table is ready..IMMATURE party of 1! But otherwise today was pretty cool............i think... it was more or less ablow off day in more ways than one...but ya know what does really piss me off about school days? the people... yes that right..the people..im sorry but i can handle a few..RESPONSIBLE..MATURE..NICe people..but im talking about.oh crap gotta go eat..finish this later Mallory
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4 May 2001 - and im back
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OK YEA ANYWAYS ill continue on with my lil entry here..i dont know what was saying last time but for now i think im gonna rat on my boyfriend...'
Yes thats correct..his name is John..
Now jess if you read this..tell me to break up with him all you want but i see something behind what you see..
John is a great guy, when he actually is talking to me and being the boyfriend i enjoy him being, hes a grwat guy, he treats me great, hes sweet, he cares, hes affectionate ..EVERYTHING i could ask for...until we go back to school..when we go back to school he totally changes
Hes not affectionate, hes not caring, he treats me like a nobody, hes like..an acquaintance inside of school..like he doesnt want anyone to know weve been going out..HELLO!? its been a lil over two months now and people STILL dont know were going out...STILL..and to top it off..with two things..he hangs out with his ex more than me, he walks her to her locker, takes HER home, and he denies the fact that we are going out...what kind of shit is that? he wont even hug me unless I really am about to cry...i just wanna smack him sometimes and cry right here in front of him and see what he would do..see if he would give a shit until we got out of school.....and he wont listen to me..im not saying he deosnt care about my problems cause im sure he does..but i always get crap from him because hes having a bad day and life just "sucks for him" well im fuckin sorry if his damn life is just awful and he feels like giving up..but hello? im always there for him, i listen to his problems..i hear what he needs and i TRY to give it to him, but he wont accept it..he wont accept my help..he wont accept anything i try to do for him.he just says no thats alright..and everything is ok..hell tough it out..life just sucks for him anyways...and that hurts like hell! it hurts to think that he doesnt want me to listen or that he doesnt want to share things with me..it hurts that he doesnt want to hold my hand..or walk me to my locker..and say hi to me in the halls and give me a hug..it hurts deep down inside to know or feel that im just a bud inside of school..its like a knife driving into my heart and i cant pull it out..cause everyday it gets driven in more and more..i mean i really like this guy..alot..a hell of alot more than anyone else ive EVER been with..and thats not gonna change..nothing he does is gonna change the way i feel about him..no matter how much im hurting inside because of how things are going with us, as soon as i look at him i cant help but smile..cause just seeing him can brighten my day, hearing his voice, or walking down the hall and thinking that i smell his cologne makes me happy..while my heart is breaking...i miss him, alot, and i want him to act like a boyfriend in school no matter how much he doesnt like it, atleast more than he does now..hes a great guy and im not letting him go...not until he tells me to..and even then i will put up a fight..this guy means alot to me..and i hope he understands that...Guys...theyre the greatest things in the world..but sometimes the things they do to your heart hurts like a bitch
Im gonna go read my friends entry now...
:::Mally::::;
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I guarantee well have tough times and i guarantee at some point well both wanna get out, but i also guarantee if i dont ask you to be mine ill regret it for the rest of my life.
You all laugh because im different, i laugh because youre all the same
Be EXTREME.
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You can email the author at Beachbaby0409@aol.com
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