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you

Spoke to P today who told me how wierd he felt when I, out-of-nowhere, brought up racism and criminality and assumptions of innocence/guilt. He said, I don't walk around thinking I'm black all the time.

Eventhough I do walk around thinking I'm Jewish all the time, coz the identity inflects how I see everything, I guess I understood what he was saying. I realise that out of nowhere, the throwaway line had no place. I brought the discussion to 'race' and racism to serve my purposes and not his.

It's funny. It's a classic liberal thing to do - to show others how cool you are, to show them how much you understand them by citing the politics. I know how much it annoys me when someone, out of the blue, talks about Jewishness, when it has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. It makes me think - is that all I am to you - A Jew? Can't I just be a person? And yet it's ok when I bring it up out of the blue, because Jewishness does inform how I see the world.


NB

All diary entries are based on my own perception of a situation or event. They are subjective reflections and often written well after the fact. Other people I mention will have their own version of the events I describe and might disagree with their portrayal. This project is not about libelling people or stigmatising them but about recording my own perceptions of racism as a person sensitized to racism, both as a victim of racism and as a racist.

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