I've really gotten terrible at updating this diary. Often, I find myself playing with words, trying to form thoughts and sentences to describe my events, emotions or ideas. And then I just don't make the time to actually sit and type.
And I miss it here.
I miss venting, escaping, telling my story.
My world is consumed with the details of everyday. Working, raising kids, being the wife and mother and business owner. I'm starting to lose me.
Don't get me wrong. I am enjoying my days. I'm just finding that the scales of balance are off by a little bit.
I've been taking a series of workshops in dealing with life issues. It's me and 10 other women trying to squash old beliefs and inspire new ideas. I'm enjoying them immensely. Girl Power is a marvelous thing. I've also been taking advantage of some Women In Business events too...for the very same reasons.
It's been a struggle in learning to live on an income that has been cut down by 75%....Hubby has been off work for almost 4 months. I love having him here, and we've been trying to ignore the fact that he will be called back to work at any moment. I don't want him to go. I feel like I've been spoiled in having a full house lately, especially the extra hands that take such a burden off of my own shoulders. I'm definitely not looking forward to relying solely on my own devices again.
I'm finally taking a paycheck from work now. Well, this week will be my first actual pay day....the first in 4 years. Wow. It's been a while.
Our full-time girl quit last week. I saw it coming. I avoided the confrontation much longer than I should have, and it festered and boiled and now it's done. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I was trying to be accommodating but I fear it was more like abused....I seriously cannot tell you how overjoyed I am that it's done. Wishing her well of course, and I know it wasn't personal...at least not by me.
Our kids are on week 3 of some heavy punishment. No cell phones, house phones, Internet, or televisions. I understand now why parents say "Believe me. This is going to hurt ME a lot more....."
We felt like they weren't pulling their weight. I understand that they are kids, but between the two of them, their chores equal about 10 minutes a day, and they couldn't seem to find the time out of their busy schedules to empty the dishwasher, feed the dogs and sweep the floors....so I sat them down and explained that since their father and I had to go out of the house everyday to WORK and earn money to pay for necessities...I expected them to learn the value of earning. I took away their privileges until I feel that they've done their fair share to earn them back.
It is painful. But after 3 weeks they are finally 'getting' it. And even better than that, they are actually home more, and communicating in sentences, rather than grunts and nods....amazing what happens....
I've had so many noteworthy moments, I can't even remember them. We won a window decorating contest at work that was lots of fun, and has a lot of tourists in the shop over the weekend from the East Coast Music Awards...lots of fun.
I'll really have to make an effort at spending more time here. I really do miss expressing myself.
Thanks for checking in.
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