I just got home from the doctor, my 6 month check-up, and she said that I had a beautiful and healthy looking cervix. So there.The appointment was fast and I am so thankful that it's done. I was sitting in the waiting room dreading what was to come, when I had this really calming thought, a new frame of mind. Instead of being full of dread, instead I focused how blessed I am to live in a place where I can get free health-care, where I have access to doctors and hospitals and life-saving procedures. Many ladies don't have access to qualified and capable doctors. I'm glad to live here.
In the waiting room I sat across from a lady who talked for 15 minutes about her faulty ovary, and then her upcoming trip to go shopping with her family.
I then listened to my new doctor tell me about her professional relationship with my former doctor.
And now I'm getting ready to go to work and listen some more while my afternoon clients fill me in on all the details of their lives since I've seen them last.
I've been thinking.....if it wasn't for this diary, I'd never get a turn. I don't really think much about who 'hears' what I write, or who 'gets' me, I just keep a record of my thoughts and views so that I can feel like maybe I get a chance to say something, anything....
I'm a good listener. I empathize well with people, I form relationships with people by trying to hear what they have to say.
I learn a lot from listening to what other people have to say, but sometimes I feel like I might have something insightful to say, but I just usually keep quiet. Or sometimes I can't find the right words to say, so I am more comfortable writing them instead.
I'm grateful that I have this place. This quiet little spot where I can jot down some of my feelings, my hopes, my fears and my dreams.....otherwise I might never share it.
So.....Big Son is gone to orientation today at his new junior high school. It kills me. How did he get so old so fast? In our small town the high school and junior high are one school separated by 'wings', and there are plenty of problems there. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. This morning we had a 20 minute conversation about the dangers and temptations that happen once he gets subjected to an older crowd of kids. I wasn't preaching, just talking, and making sure that he knows, in spite of my tormenting, that he can absolutely come to me with any questions or concerns.
This is a scary time for me. I worry that I haven't said enough, or that I didn't prepare him well enough. Have I empowered him to make the right choices, even when everyone else is opting for another route? I know he's a good kid. But I remember losing my innocence when I reached junior high.....
Alright, that's all for now. I have to get to work and finish the day. We have a Spring Fling at the school tonight, guess it's hot dogs and ice cream for supper tonight.
Thanks for checking in.