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23 Apr 2009 - Making Sense Out Of Dollars.... I'm trying to get myself into a better position. I'm trying to focus my energies on becoming a better person. I'm reading lots, and spending time mulling over decisions and listening for a voice of reason. The more time I spend thinking, the more I'm feeling disconnected to some notions that I thought were who I was striving to become. It's kind of like when you clean your house, a really good clean, and during the process you cause more clutter and disorganization than when you started. I'm feeling that way from the inside out. I've been spending quite a bit of time reorganizing some ideas that I've had, shifting my priorities and setting new goals for myself. It's been a chaotic time of hard questions of myself, but I finally feel like I'm gaining a sense of feeling closer to where I'm supposed to be. Life was feeling really scattered and hectic, all things that I've brought in to my own life...and that was a hard pill to swallow. But I'm feeling more at peace lately, and it's wonderful. There are some things not yet fixed, those questions that I know I will have to deal with, but right now it's easier to leave it untouched.... The closer I'm becoming to the place that feels like "my path" the further away I'm feeling from ideas that I once held. I'm wishing for a less complicated existence, I've been talked out of moving to the country, because apparently most others believe that it's not who I am supposed to be. For some reason it is inconvenient for them to imagine me there...and I guess, for now, I'll suppress that feeling and concentrate on other things. But uncomplicated is definitely one of those desires. I'm feeling very stressed with Hubby lately for the amount of days we have words with each other about our unwillingness to change old habits and past mistakes....it's getting really old.... Anyway. I'm still trying to grow, still trying to figure out what my calling is, and why I am here in the first place. Growing up is hard work. Thanks for checking in. Click here and stick a pin in it. Previous Month Next Month Mar 2010 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri  Sat   1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Feb 2010 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri  Sat   1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 Jan 2010 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri  Sat           1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Add Reader Comment Previous Return to Index Next Show Reader Comments (1)

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