Current time in my woods
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One of those holidays that have got unsynchronised in my life…International Women’s Day. It is almost like a Mothers Day in Western World, but not quite the same. In Russia and some countries of the former Eastern European block this is bank holidays. In fact, 8th of March has significance next after the birthdays and New Year’s celebrations. It also has a meaning of the beginning of Spring attached to it. As long as I can remember this day was always filled with flowers, chocolate boxes and little gifts…we used to have celebrations at school, when the boys would make presents for the girls in their class (I still keep my very first hand-made gift from one of my classmates – a wooden elephant, coloured pink, although I forgot the name of the one who made it for me…boo hoo to me!). This day is still a big event in Russia. And a national holiday too. So all of my friends and classmates have parties and all the nice things that go along with the merriment. Of course I did get my fair share of the greetings from Russia as well as from those on a British side who are aware…it is nice to be thought of. And despite of it being a working day for me, all the warm thoughts sent made it somewhat special in a way. And I feel good.
Yet I feel slightly blueish too. This is no longer a shared holiday for me. No one around here knows of it. Being bleached out in a stranger’s land, the day has lost same meaning, same significance and with it - same joy. Like with Christmas, I am not in the right place with this day. The festive mood that used to be shared with friends and family, has been lost already and I feel being fall out from the local celebrations of a Mother’s Day too. Stuck in between the two similar yet different holidays…not there already, not here yet…This is all part of the agreement you have to sign with yourself when making a choice to live in a foreign land. And I do not complain. I’m just pondering on the fact that to gain something, one has to be prepared to lose something else in return…and sometimes it feels like the exchange was too unfair...too many of comforting things has been lost and not many - gained. However, today I still had my fair share of attention and I will buy some flowers and make my day a little bit more special then any other day. And I will wish me a Happy Women’s Day and swipe away any unhelpful thought about the irony of a day being women's day and that celebrating it alone dissociates me from feeling myself a woman even more then ever...funny how our mind works sometimes taking down self-esteem on a day designed for joy by definition...Bright flash news! I’ve got my “new” car and I love it love it love it! It has a feminine character to it, soft and gentle, elegant and comfortable to be with. So “it’s a girl”. I named her Magic, partly because the model is Ford Focus and while to some “focus” might associate with a “focal point” or determination as in “being focused”, to me the word sounds more like magician’s trick. So Magic seemed to come naturally. She is a little wonder and I’m sure we’ll spent few good years together.
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