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Could not open entry header file 10 Jun 2001 - Decision Day Today is the day I am supposed to let my family know where I have decided to live. Since I eliminated my brothers house, it is between my Grandmother's and my boyfriend's house. I think my mind has actually been made up for some time now and it is just a matter of telling them. That is something I am not looking forward to. If I went to my Grandmothers the only motivation to do so would be to satisfy what I believe everyone else (except my friends outside the family) thinks I should do. That is not a good reason. I talked to a trusted woman in my life (she knows who she is : ) ) and she reminded me of a notion I had lost sight of ...that I can trust my own judgement. What a concept, right? There was a time not so long ago that I would not have really questioned my decisions and I want to get back to that place. A place where I make the choices and deal with the consequences. So, thanks to my friend and to a little tiny bit of confidence I can muster, that is what I am going to do. Trust myself. It looks like it is going to be a beautiful day here and I plan to do something other than worry. Even if it is just for today. 10 Jun 2001 - going back on my word I know I said that I was not going to worry any today and I guess I lied. I woke up this morning in a good mood, made some coffee and spent some time outside with my dog. When my boyfriend got up (about an hour later) I was dissapointed that he did not notice a cute little nightgown thingy I had on (I never wear stuff like that) and he did not even hug me or touch me. I suppose it is silly that I would be bothered by it but I don't feel like he is as attracted to me as he used to be. Perhaps I am just looking for things to upset myself about. Another thing that does not help is that I had a dream last night about my ex and it is possible that I am missing some of the things that came along with dating that guy. I don't miss everything about this ex but I do so miss the affection. I am very affectionate and he was too. The man I am dating now is just not that way and I know that the fact that I smoke and he does not is not any help. But my ex did not smoke either...well, it is impossible to compare the two. They are polar opposites and I would not go back to my ex even if I were single. But to wake up and have someone not be able to keep their hands off of me was a nice feeling. Previous Month Next Month Apr 2002 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri  Sat   1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Jul 2001 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri  Sat 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Jun 2001 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri  Sat           1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 [10] 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Add Reader Comment Previous Return to Index Next Show Reader Comments (0)

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