Pairing: Joey and Kevin
Words: idiocy; colander; fade; abide
Kevin stopped him with a firm hand to the chest and a commanding glare. It was like getting checked by a football player.
Joey came to a halt in the hallway. Over Kevin's shoulder, he could see Nick stick his tongue out at him and disappear into his hotel room.
"I think I've put up with a lot," Kevin said.
"Um..." Joey wasn't sure how to handle a chewing out from a Backstreet Boy. He didn't think the technique he used for dealing with Lance when Lance got pissy would work too well. Blowjobs were not the universal solvent, as Chris kept trying to remind him. "You have?"
"I have. I've put up with the screaming. The drunkeness. The noisy sex. But it's 3 a.m., and I'm trying to sleep, and here you are, chasing Nick through the hall with a colander."
Joey held up the metal object he'd taken from the hotel kitchen. "That's what this is?"
"Yes. It is. Would you mind telling me what idiocy you intend to get up to with that?"
"Um... I was going to put it on Nick's head to block out the alien brain waves that were telling him to pants AJ?"
Kevin nodded slowly. "I see. And that would be a bad thing, why?"
Joey really didn't like how reasonable Kevin sounded. "Because he'd see AJ's dick, and then he'd want to fuck him."
"Bearing in mind that he and AJ have been fucking off and on for about three years, this would be a bad thing, why?"
"They have?"
"Yes."
Kevin stared down at him, eyebrows pursed in a way that looked like it was supposed to be meaningful. Joey suddenly got it. "Oh! You think I didn't know that. This is where I'm supposed to get jealous and leave, right?"
"Nick told you."
"Um, no. AJ did."
Kevin raised an eyebrow. "He did?"
"Well, we were having sex at the time."
"You know what?" Kevin said. "I don't really want to know. I don't even care. I just want to get some sleep. If you two can just agree to abide to some reasonable level of noise--"
"A dull roar?" Joey suggested helpfully.
"Right. Keep it to a dull roar, and I don't care if you fuck Nick, AJ, Howie, Brian, and the cocktail waitresses from the bar downstairs."
"The bar closed an hour ago." The vein in Kevin's temple was throbbing, Joey noted. He watched in fascination as a red flush rose from Kevin's neck to his cheeks, and then faded again before Kevin spoke.
"All right. I'll make myself clearer. Shut the hell up, or I'll make your life miserable."
Joey folded his arms, a little smug. "I have a kid. Who had colic. There's nothing you can do that could make me more miserable than that was."
"You don't want to push me, Fatone."
Okay, so Joey really didn't care one way or the other about winning a testerone contest with Kevin, but he was Italian and male, and Kevin was pushing his buttons. Punching them hard, even. "And why's that?"
Kevin snapped his jaw shut, swiveled on his heel and knocked on the door Nick had disappeared into.
"Hey, Joey, you made it back alive! Oh, Kevin. Hi." Nick's self-confident manner dissolved into stammering.
"Take your boyfriend to bed and keep him quiet, or else. Got that, Nick?"
"Yeah. Sure, Kev. Whatever you say, Kevin."
Kevin turned around and marched back to his room. Joey watched him go, then looked at Nick. In a normal tone of voice, he asked, "What's that all about?"
"Ssh," Nick said in a frantic whisper, and dragged him into the room. "Do you want him to hear you?"
"Um..."
"You don't. You really don't."
"What's so scary about him? Daily beatings? Hour-long lectures? Suspended phone privileges?"
"Eighteen hour dance rehearsals."
Joey held up his hands. "Say no more." He mimed zipping his lips shut. "We don't really need to talk anyway."
Nick grinned, nodded, and led Joey to the bed.
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