Pairing: JC and AJ
Words: juggle; conceited; howl; bountiful
In the beginning, it was perfect. Drunkenly incoherent man seeks incoherent man for episodes of meaningless sex, no relationship desired. Meet up at a club, a hotel, or arrange something over the phone, and have sex until one or both was howling. Afterward, the drunkenly incoherent man would be semi-sober and forgetful, and the permanently incoherent man would have nothing to say. Inability to commit to reality meshing with addictive self-destruction in a perfect blend of silence and secrets.
Things don't stay perfect.
When AJ stops calling, JC doesn't think anything of it. When he finds out AJ is in rehab, he has nothing to say. When AJ calls up to carry out his 12-step assigned task of making amends and apologize, JC hangs up on him. It's over, and 'it' never really existed to begin with.
Lance is the one who juggles their schedules, not him, and so when JC ends up coming out of the recording studio as AJ is going in, it isn't his fault.
AJ has things to say. AJ is sober and eloquent. JC is still incoherent. He lets AJ talk at him, then pushes past him and goes out to his car. It isn't wordless anymore, and JC doesn't know how to communicate like that. With people who aren't nearly linked to him through a nearly psychic bond like Lance and Joey and Chris and Justin are, JC has only two ways of getting his point across: through music, and by saying nothing at all.
AJ isn't getting the point.
Things are awkward and uncomfortable. JC is beginning to dread public appearances, because AJ will show up. AJ no longer tries to talk to him, but he looks at JC, and JC doesn't know what he wants.
Chris is the only one with him these days; Joey and Justin have other responsibilities, and Lance is in Russia. Chris talks. He mentions AJ a lot, because Chris notices things. Chris thinks AJ is conceited and cocky, and probably just wants to start having sex with JC again.
JC wishes that was all it was; he'd know how to deal with that.
He has dinner with AJ at AJ's house because it's easier to agree than to make up the words needed to get out of it. And because he still wants AJ, and Chris is rarely wrong about what people are thinking.
There isn't any alcohol with the dinner, and JC doesn't eat much of the bountiful supply of food that AJ has provided. AJ is mostly quiet, and so JC is too; it's uncomfortable talking and knowing that he's being incoherent to someone who is capable of more than that and expecting more than that.
After dinner, AJ takes his hand, and JC reels himself in closer, but AJ doesn't pull. He talks, and JC surprises himself by listening, a little.
AJ wants to try their relationship over again.
JC doesn't think it'll work. It isn't perfect. It isn't even close. He doesn't know what to say, or how to say it to someone who's used to listening to people who make sense.
But AJ touches his wrist, and then his forearm and pulls JC in, and it's not perfect, but it's sex, and that's something.
-the end-
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