The sun is rising

Mom,

I have been thinking of you this morning.  Thinking of a phone conversation we had not too long ago.  Some things you said resonated with me- what I have felt in the past about “what should have been”.  Maybe you have heard these things, maybe you already know them and hold them true, but I wanted to share with you my thoughts and struggles with my “what should have been”.

You and everyone else knows my history of my divorce and crazy step children.  The drama has been out there for the world to see, just as what seems to be going on with you and Dad.  But what is not as easily seen or understood is the storm of emotions and feelings that go along with it all.  The feelings of loss and betrayal.  Losing what I thought I knew to be true and what I had placed all my bets on.  Losing my investments of time and heart.  It is so easy to get bitter and lost in the feelings of being cheated out of what I worked so hard to achieve.  To feel like all is lost. To feel angry. To feel lost in what feels like an endless black whole of depression and emptiness.  I think these are normal feelings- to ask God, “why me”?  To be at a loss for understanding.  Not knowing where to move and feeling smothered by the whirlwind of negative.

And in all of my struggles- I have had to learn the humbling lesson- this life is not about me.  It never has been about me.  What I have been given is a blessing for today, but never guaranteed to last.  I can plan- but my plans are just dreams that often never come true.  The only thing that holds true is that God has always been there to catch me.  When all of my world has been taken out from under me, he has given me what I need.  Not what I want, but what I need.  A person to give me a hug, a prayer.  A day, hour, or minute, sometimes just a second- to be able to catch my breath and see the hope of the sun shining through all the mess surrounding me.  And in that moment, that second- I am able to see that this is passing, and my feelings of hopelessness are not from God.  There is a world outside of the dark cloud- and all there is to do it to hold God’s hand and take one step at a time.  Pretending to know how things are going to turn out has proven wrong over and over.  As soon as I have planned and expected something, it seems I have had it taken away.  It is as if God forces me to rely only on him.  There is no one and nothing in this world that bring me peace and assurance.  It is in times of darkness God brings me back to my foundation of faith.

I want to encourage you not to lose heart. You have a hope and a future.  Sometimes the bravest thing of all is hope.  You are not alone.  I love you.

 

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3

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Blessings- Laura Story

Blessings

By Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

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What Do I Know of Holy

By Addison Road

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven but I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small, I never feared You at all, no
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes, could I behold You?

What do I know of You who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were might to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of You who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it’s name?
What do I know of holy of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name on earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

What do I know of You who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

-Addison Road

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The Sun Is Rising

By Brit Nicole

When life has cut too deep and left you hurting
The future you had hoped for is now burning
And the dreams you held so tight lost their meaning
And you don’t if you’ll ever find the healing

You’re gonna make it
You’re gonna make it
And the night can only last for so long

Whatever you’re facing
If your heart is breaking
There’s a promise for the ones who just hold on
Lift up your eyes and see
And the sun is rising

And the sun is rising
Sun is rising
And the sun is rising

Every high and every low you’re gonna go through
You don’t have to be afraid I am with you (I am with you)
In the moments you’re so weak you feel like stopping
Let the hope you have light the road you’re walking

You’re gonna make it
You’re gonna make it
The night can only last for so long

Whatever you’re facing
If your heart is breaking
There’s a promise for the ones who just hold on
Lift up your eyes and see
The sun is rising

And even when you can’t imagine how
How you’re ever gonna find your way out
Even when you’re drabbling in your doubt
Just look beyond the clouds

The sun is rising
The sun is rising
Just look beyond the clouds
The sun is rising
The sun is rising

Whatever you’re facing
If your heart is breaking
There’s a promise for the ones who just hold on
Lift up your eyes and see
The sun is rising

The sun is rising
The sun is rising yeah
The sun is rising ooh oh
Yeah yeah

Even when you can’t imagine how
How you’re ever gonna find your way out
Even when you’re drowning in your doubt
Just look beyond the clouds

Even when you can’t imagine how
How you’re ever gonna find your way out
Even when you’re drowning in your doubt
Just look beyond the clouds

-Brit Nicole