I am not going to play catch up of the days I have not written in my diary this time because my days are about the same.  Although, not Sunday was a little different.  I went to church in the morning and then a song service in the evening.  I had a great time.  Even two boys, who are brothers, got baptized that evening in the cold water of the baptismal pool.  It was an awesome night.

I have been super duper busy despite what goes on in my world in this life of mine,.  The 16th, KP came over and we made a meal for the week, went through some clothes I had received from a church neighbor and friend and got rid of 5 items of my own to replace the three items I had gotten.  That was the toughest part for me but it was done and I got rid of my least favorite clothes.  It is every Thursday I have KP come over,  She comes on Mondays as well for cleaning and laundry like yesterday.  Yesterday, KP came to help clean, do laundry, and then I had an appointment at 1:20 with my podiatrist, Dr. A, and then I had gotten an invitation to have supper with my friend BS at her place last night at 5 pm.  We watched a couple of TV programs on HGTV called Love It or List It, and then I came home and watched two more hours of Love It and Lose It.  Then I fell asleep, lol.

Today is grocery shopping after my shower at 8:30 am to 9:45 am.  Yes, a time change at this time.  I have been up since 6:30 am anyway.  I slept well,. I am going to have to get used to a new wake up time now that Spring is here and Summer is on its way.

Anyway…

I wish I could say what happened on Sunday but I really can’t.  I just ask for those who believe in the power of prayer, God, or a high power, please pray for my dad.  He is in his early 70′s.  Otherwise my week has been good, awesome, and amazing all at the same time.  Right now, today, I am doing what needs to be done.  What I heard from my Dad the other day was a shock to my system and it could have been a whole lot worse from what I understand.  Even after talking to my Aunt J yesterday, it helped a lot since she is a nurse. I love my dad very much.

I am not going to update the days I missed.  My weeks are about the same for the most part.  On Sunday, though, I just did not go to church in the morning,  I went back to church in the evening with my friends SW and her husband MW to a song service.  It was a great evening.  I enjoyed myself.  Even two boys got baptized after the song service in the water that was ice cold in the baptismal pool. It was amazing!  The two boys are brothers.

Anyway…

Here I am with the TV off, after having it on all night long and waking up at 6 am to Matlock, I decided to get up – sort of – and begin my day online before my shower gal got here at 1015 am.  RK asked me yesterday if it would be okay if she came at 1015 am instead of 1030 am so she could get to her next client’s shower after me.  I told her that it was perfectly fine.  The earlier the better for me and for her as well.  I know it can be difficult at times getting from one client to another when it can be a travel time crunch – even though I do not drive myself.

It is another beautiful day outdoors today.  My windows have been open for a couple of days now – day and night – and I am all dressed for the warm weather we have been having today and yesterday.  80 degree weather has been wonderful but we are expecting lower temperatures again over the weekend.  Winter is behind us but the weather is definitely playing games with us this year.  At least I hope winter IS behind us now.  We are going to be going into June here in 16 days now.  The weather HAS been playing its ugly game with me and my emotions these days.  It is not pleasant but I have been holding my own for the majority of it all.

Where I live and have been living for the past 15 years now, I see people come and go while I look out the window from where I sit.  I hear noises of the city going by in cars, trucks, and other forms of riding machines, and the noises of birds and such making their noises of the day as well.  I may live in the city, wishing I lived in the country where it was quiet and no one to bother me, I am used to the noises and sounds from the world around me.  Sometimes, in a moment of unsureness, I do hear sounds and noises I am not familiar with or have heard before but are more noticeable than usual.  I think that is from when my senses and anxiety is slightly altered.  My neighbor upstairs makes sounds and noises all the time but I have come to ignore them unless I hear a sound or noise that is different.  I rarely hear my neighbor upstairs anymore.  I have been able to tune her sounds and noises out unless there is a need to hear the noises.  We have maintenance here today so he is going in and out of the building.  There is one noise I wish could be taken care of and that is the noise from the first floor stairwell door that is between me and the elevator.  I hear that closing before 7 am in the morning!  It can drive me crazy if it wakes me up and I cannot get back to sleep!  Otherwise, sounds and noises are on deaf ears.

In recent months I have become more secluded in my apartment and leave when I need to or have to, but I do have my days where I will leave my apartment and see what is going on in the lobby and community/recreation room across the hall from me.  I have people/tenants/a manager I will associate with but I do have to admit that I’d rather keep to myself.  After having CSE here for a few weeks, I found myself overwhelmed because she is not motivating herself.  Her physical, mental, and emotional health concerns me, and after having her for a few weeks, I have not had her down here for the day or weekend ever since.  I am not the type of person to have a roommate or a long time stay over.  I have not had my friends RB and JW over for a very long time now.  I am not going to have any more sleepovers.  I can not do anymore.

Now, one of the hardest things in my world right now is my world is understanding CSE.  After having her for a few weeks, I have realized that I do not understand her like I first thought.  With her health all around concerning me, I find it hard to see her in the same light I saw her before she was here for a few weeks.  I must sound horrible but I do see her in a different light.  She scares me a little bit so I am distancing myself from her a little and letting her come to me when she does.

That brings me to another thing … I do not always answer my door when someone knocks now.  I have started that a couple of days ago now – this week.  There are moments I am into something very important and I find I need not be bothered, I will not say anything.  My friend BS who lives above me will always knock and then use her power chair buzzer to let me know it is her if she sees and knows I am home by the light in my apartment.  BS visiting with me for a while last night before 12 midnight.  After she left, I had fallen asleep in the recliner all night  where I had awakened to Matlock at 6 am this morning.

I am heading away from Dear Diary for now.

It was a busy morning.  My Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays have are my busy mornings. I look forward to sleeping in a little bit on Wednesday and a little bit on Friday.  Today I had my shower gal here from 9 am to 1015 am, and then after that, I went grocery shopping.  I went to Wal-Mart today and I rarely go there now-a-days but I got what I needed and wanted anyway,  After grocery shopping, LB and I put my groceries away and then she left for the week.  I have been home watching TV, playing games on Facebook, and wanting to do other things.  It is soon to be 10 pm here in Wisconsin so bed is just around the corner.

I had fabulous (fabtabulous) weekend!  I went to church Saturday morning, and spent the day at home after church.  I had no company Saturday night.  So after my Saturday evening shower, the rest of the night was all mine and my cat Bing’s.  We had snuggled and had our conversations, and he told me all about his morning and early afternoon without me while I was at church and was the happiest cat when I got home.

On Sunday, I went to church in the morning and Sunday School (Growth Group) after service, came home shortly afterwards.  I called my friend BS, who lives in the apartment directly above me and we had lunch together and watched a TV movie that I recorded last night titled Beverly Lewis’ The Confession with Katie Leclerc who happens to be one of my favorite actressses from another TV show titled Switched at Birth.  I did not watch the show this past season, though.  I will have to catch up next season when Switched at Birth comes back on unless it was one of the shows that was cancelled and I did not hear about it like CSI: Miami.  Anyway, after watching the movie The Confession, which was very good, BS left for the rest of the afternoon and I left for church once again at 630 pm.

After church Sunday evening, coming into the building, I visited with a couple of neighbors who happened to be in the lobby while I was heading to my apartment.  I even saw CSE come out of the community room, recreation room some tenants call it, and I said hello to her but my heart was not too happy to see her.  I am hoping I do not run into her today because I need a break from her for awhile.

Today (My Monday)

Today I have my shower at 9 am (hopefully) … otherwise at 11 am and then I have KP coming over to clean and do laundry.  After that, I plan on going for a walk and check in with the manager.

I am going to church this morning and I had awakened at 7 am in order to have some time to read the BIble and do some diary writing here.  After church I have my shower at 345 to 5 pm and then I have the rest of the evening to myself and my cat Bing Crosby.  I do not believe I will have any company tonight.

Well, it is 8 am now and it is time for me to get going.  I have a couple of things to do before leaving for church.  I am already dressed for the day.  So I will say good bye for now and God bless.  I will write more later when I have time.

I am glad I am all caught up now.

My friend BS came by this evening for a few minutes and we chatted.  I returned her book back to her by Todd Burpo titled “Heaven Is For Real” that is about his son Colton and his near death experience and going to heaven seeing Jesus and angels, and family members who have passed away.  The story is wonderful.  BS has just left, leaving me to my own devices once again.  Anyway… BS and I talked about some things that were troubling me about CSE and both of us are going to pray for CSE’s emotional and physical health together on a regular basis.  This paragraph talking about a friend’s emotional health reminds me of a neighbor who lives in the building here who seems miserable and unkind to some of us tenants.  Her misery is affecting other tenants as well and wish her to move (At least I wish she would) or get help for her moodiness.  I do not know, because I do care, if this tenant MA has lost her happiness due to something  unpleasant happening in her life, but her moodiness needn’t affect other tenants because she gets on them about things.  MA is not a pleasant woman at all.  There are two tenants who she hangs around with here are her friends and I guess misery loves company at times.  It’s sad but I do not pity MA at all.  I will not give in to her misery, moodiness, and attitude. at all.  This is one person’s pity party I will not attend!  I will pray for her though.

I know I have mentioned this more than once the past several days about CSE not staying here and she is back in her own apartment again with her cat Ethan.  I am so happy to have my place back to myself once again and organized to my standards.  I do love CSE very much but it will be a while before she is going to stay overnight again,  I am going to have to change the rules a bit about having friends stay over from now on since CSE has gone home.  Movie nights are going to be scheduled and then company is going to leave or if they stay over, they are leaving right away the next morning without fail.  I do not mind having a roommate but it is not my thing.  I almost got in trouble, not by management here, but by those who work with me on a daily to weekly basis.  By writing this paragraph, I am reminding myself I have to make a phone call in the morning to my caseworker at Catholic Charities and touch basis with her (AH) before the weekend starts.

Now… here… my day is definitely done.  I was able to get out what has been on my mind for a long time now and now I can finally say good night and God bless.  It has been a fine day.  Tomorrow is going to be better.