Has it been 11 years already? Now America, the United States are losing American Soldiers left and right because of the war that is still going on overseas. I am so glad that American soldiers are coming home and being with their families but now we have soldiers dying and getting killed overseas because of the ongoing war! I feel for the families who will never see their loved ones who did fight a good fight for our freedoms and rights in the United States. Thanks for fighting for our country soldiers! I still remember what I was doing on that day of September 11, 2011, and I could not even understand right away what was going on because I first thought it was just an accident, a malfunction of the airplane but apparently, it was an attack on us by people who hated us so much. The beginning of a major war. When I found out what was going on, there was a buzz going on around me with people talking, radios on listening to the two planes hitting the twin towers in New York, city, and here I was a year before it happened, in New York at the Macy Parade in person. The twin towers were there then. A scary thought now losing all those people. The beginning of a tragic time for many people who saw the two planes. That morning, before I left for my appointment, apparently I had turned on the TV and saw the 2nd plane hit the twin towers. Sad but very true.
With that in mind, my day went on as usual today. My shower at 9 am to 1015 am. My IDS worker came by and we did my laundry and made a meal for me to have in my freezer for the week, planned my next grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, and planned to clean my apartment on Friday after we got back from shopping.
See my “My Counseling Journal” if you can.
Even though I have been dwelling on this a little but I have been deeply hurt and feel scarred over all what has happened between JSL and I very much. Memories of her past actions have come flooding into my world the past couple of days now and it is sad to see what has really transpired several days ago that led to my leaving her and becoming free of her for good. I was sick and tired of taking responsibility for my actions and yet she did not seem to take responsibility for her actions for some reason or another. I am not going to sit here and believe it is her disabilities she has because I believe she does understand that she has to take and be responsible for her wrongdoings as well. What she did to me the 1st time I was used as a pawn for what transpired at a meeting with her friend’s dad who happens to be a well-known pastor of our community, JSL’s parents, and the manager of the building. I felt I was on a whole different planet with aliens around me but as the meeting ended, I was able to leave and go back to my apartment with the fact that I took responsibility for my actions that was for the reason the meeting was taking place along with the fact that JSL used my name and address to order CD’s that I would end up having to pay for. I should have told her we were no longer friends that day. Here I have, learned, that I had great respect for JSL’s friend’s father who is a Pastor in our community. Even now, this day, years later, I have great respect for the pastor of our community. Today I am not friends with JSL because I would not apologize for something I did not do and I was not going to apologize at all, and I was going to write her an email stating that I needed a break from her for a while but she decided to take it upon herself to involve other people in my life to get answers from me but I did not respond and did not lose sleep over it. She was not taking responsibility for her actions whatsoever once again. The two altercations that should have put JSL in jail or back on probation had come in the forefront of my memory once again but I did not press charges against her, and became friends with her again. Oops, big mistake. I ended up putting up with her attitude for a long time until the beginning of the month of September. Now I have said my peace and my side of the story.
I am so glad that the building has been taken over by a company that has found this place in a mess – not the fault of the previous owners of course – and cleaning this place up, fixing things that need it, and working everyday to get things done here. I have met the new owner of the building and he seems like a nice gentleman even though people who were let go have not so good feelings towards this gentleman. I guess you can call me “Miss. Chance when it comes to getting to know other people and why things happen the way they do. We had our first in-house inspection last Thursday and we are expecting inspections every 4 months from now on. The new owner of our building works and goes by the book of what needs to be done as far as the rules go for a place like ours – HUD subsidized. Things are being done now. I like that. NMS has been here for 25 years and I am working on my 15th year here now, and this building has been my home the longest I have lived on my own. I had moved out of my parents’ home in December of 1989 and moved three times landing here in 1998. I have been here for 14 years now and have seen tenants come and go and come back again, and then leave once more.
I was out and about this afternoon and learned that a former tenant was here and saw one of the other former tenants delivering something for a tenant here. I was not too thrilled but then, again, whoever is friends with the two former tenants, is not my business. I just stayed out of the way for the most part. I did not want to see the former tenant at all. She is not the nicest person and when she tried to fill out an application after the management had changed, I had learned that her past haunted her and she can not move back in. No one wanted her back here. Now, that is not funny because I was one of those who did not want her moving back here. This tenant was so bossy, got into it with tenants, and told me I was too old to have stuffed animals. She was one tenant who just got on people’s nerves. She even accused me of things I did not say or do and that took care of some things that was in our friendship. When she moved back in and moved out last October she told me she would keep in touch with me but I have not heard from her or seen her but once when she came to the office to fill out an application to move back in. I am so glad she was not allowed to move back in again! This place would have turned upside down all over again if she had.
Thoughts said and done for the day.