Category Archives: family

My World

Posted on by
Reply

Okay… it has been since the 16th since I have written in my diary but that is okay.  I have been busy and keeping myself as sane as possible.  Keeping myself sane as possible has not been hard, lol. I am really worried about my neighbor and friend CSE lately but there is nothing I can really do for her anymore since she is not coming down and checking in like she usually did in the past.  I have not seen her for several days except on Saturday for our Community Room breakfast and later in the mail room area on her computer.  I believe she is avoided me because she knows something is happening,  She does not have a phone number right now unless she went to get one most recently in the past few days.  I do not consider seeing her at the Community Room breakfast or in the mail room area anything special seeing her.  I see people in the community room and mail room area all the time.  She is no different from others.  Right now I am not very happy with her once again anyway.

 

I have been super duper busy despite what goes on in my world in this life of mine,.  The 16th, KP came over and we made a meal for the week, went through some clothes I had received from a church neighbor and friend and got rid of 5 items of my own to replace the three items I had gotten.  That was the toughest part for me but it was done and I got rid of my least favorite clothes.  It is every Thursday I have KP come over,  She comes on Mondays as well for cleaning and laundry like yesterday.  Yesterday, KP came to help clean, do laundry, and then I had an appointment at 1:20 with my podiatrist, Dr. A, and then I had gotten an invitation to have supper with my friend BS at her place last night at 5 pm.  We watched a couple of TV programs on HGTV called Love It or List It, and then I came home and watched two more hours of Love It and Lose It.  Then I fell asleep, lol.

 

Today is grocery shopping after my shower at 8:30 am to 9:45 am.  Yes, a time change at this time.  I have been up since 6:30 am anyway.  I slept well,. I am going to have to get used to a new wake up time now that Spring is here and Summer is on its way.

 

Anyway…

 

I wish I could say what happened on Sunday but I really can’t.  I just ask for those who believe in the power of prayer, God, or a high power, please pray for my dad.  He is in his early 70′s.  Otherwise my week has been good, awesome, and amazing all at the same time.  Right now, today, I am doing what needs to be done.  What I heard from my Dad the other day was a shock to my system and it could have been a whole lot worse from what I understand.  Even after talking to my Aunt J yesterday, it helped a lot since she is a nurse. I love my dad very much.

 

I am not going to update the days I missed.  My weeks are about the same for the most part.  On Sunday, though, I just did not go to church in the morning,  I went back to church in the evening with my friends SW and her husband MW to a song service.  It was a great evening.  I enjoyed myself.  Even two boys got baptized after the song service in the water that was ice cold in the baptismal pool. It was amazing!  The two boys are brothers.

Time For Self

Posted on by
Reply

With CSE upstairs spending time with her cat Ethan and getting clothes for tomorrow, I have decided to head to my bedroom and spending the rest of the night there, and getting on my computer before going to sleep for the night.  Today was a fine day although at first I thought it was going to be a rough day for both CSE and I, and our neighbor and friend CD.    We have, all three of us, worked things out and we spent the afternoon and part of the evening together here at my place watching a movie called Cirque Du Soleil and then we watched Judge Judy, Murder, She Wrote, and then Survivor together. I really enjoy the movie Cirque Du soleil and I would definitely recommend others to watch it because the performances on the program was very beautiful and amazingly wonderful.  The music was amazing!  It was like watching a modern day silent film.  As for Judge Judy and Murder, She \Wrote, they were two pre-recorded programs that were watched from today’s daily programming.  I never have watched any of the season’s Survivor yet this season so I watched it for the first time with CSE and CD this week.  It was okay but I am not into too many reality TV shows.  I am more into crime, true stories, documentaries, law and order type of shows, along with movie genres I like that does not include horror all the time.  I have seen all the Harry Potter movies and read the book set.,  I am not into blood and guts gaming either.  That is the type of person I am.

Taking A Few Moments To Remember…

Posted on by
Reply

First of all…

Good morning and I hope for a good day.

All is fine here in my household – at the moment. It is quiet here and I hear tenants coming and going into the community room across the hall and that is the only downfall of living on the 1st floor at the east end of the building, lol. No big deal though. Some days the noise of the door closing after someone enters and exits can be heard more clearly than other days apparently. Anyway, that is not the reason for my diary entry at the moment now, though.

On October 2, 1997, my Grandma Fox passed away in the hospital after battling with congestive heart failure for a while. Today would have been her birthday as well when she passed away. My mother and I are remembering her today and honoring this day for her. Even though Grandma has been gone for a long time. She is missed. She was a lovely and wonderful lady who put up with me and my mom for many years, lol. Being girls and growing up and changing is not easy for women and Grandma understood. Grandma died at the age of 78.

Today is not a super duper busy day for me except for cleaning and laundry this afternoon and my shower this morning, but I do intend on coming back today to write more. I feel I have a lot to say today, oh oh … lol. More later…

Starting Fresh – A New Month …

Posted on by
Reply

September not that terribly far away yet but October 1st is FINALLY here. YAY! I thought I would start out fresh since it is a new month. I am so glad, after having a couple of days or so of not being able to get on Dear Diary at all, I am able to come back and journal once more. I love it here and the idea of not being to journal here would have broken my heart and I would have had to go elsewhere feeling unhappy and yet confused. I did think, seriously, that someone turned me in and my journal was gone forever but here I am. That is another reason, a new month, I would take and start out fresh.

To start out fresh, I thought I would introduce myself once more to those who do not know me yet, and for those who do already know me, I would love to say hello and wish all a good day!

Anyway…

My name is Kristi. I am known as Smiley, Ksmiley, and KK in my world. It depends on who I hang around with. I am also known as Kris by my closest friends and family like my dad and his wife, lol. I live in the state of Wisconsin. I am a kidney transplant recipient of 24 1/2 years now and the kidney transplanted into my body was my mother’s left kidney. It is still working well after all these years! I went to see my doctor in Madison, Wisconsin on September 19th and everything was doing well. I also have an anxiety and panic disorder where I take medications to keep things level where I can handle and live my life from day to day. I am a Christian who attends every weekend and whenever she can, and I love reading and studying the Bible, and working on quarterlies and my sermon notes every day and chance I get. Even though I am a Christian, I make mistakes and I will own up to my mistakes. I am one person who will always own up to her part of all situations but I will not lie for others or allow someone to use me or walk all over me. I have been burned and hurt so much by friends who turned out not to be friends after all and I have walked away from those I thought were my friends. A true friend does not get information about something so she or he can report it to someone else. That is what was beginning to happen with one of my friends last month after her father was let go of his job as property manager – my opinion only. Things were coming to a head for me with this one friend and I had to let her go and move on in my life. That is why I thought, when I could not get into Dear Diary to write, someone had reported me and I lost my diary forever. This one person, in my opinion, seems to do things until she gets her way. Not this time did she get her way with me, though. She lost what was best for her and now I won’t talk to her parents at this time and I really loved this person very much, too. We were sisters and supposed to be best friends forever, too, but now things have changed. I saw her true colors come out after her father was let go from his position as property manager at the end of August, and I feel I have been lied to and used by his daughter that lead me to stop my friendship with her so abruptly. No, I could not tell her I needed a break from her when she bombarded me with other people getting involved in our little spat because that just pushed me away.

As a woman who suffers from anxiety and panic on an occasional basis now, I can tell you that I lived with anxiety and panic everyday of my life for years. I am not sure what causes my anxiety and panic disorder to come and haunt me, I do have less episodes now. I can think more clearly and have less problems with anxiety and panic. I know my symptoms of when things start going awry and I go from there. I can live day to day one way or the other now. I do not even know when I had depression. The last breakdown or meltdown my counselor SW would say was in March. I am a work in progress along with my Christian attitude and act. I have to take it day by day outside my already planned days out of a seven day week.

I go to church every weekend or every chance I get depending on what is going on and the weather. I enjoy going to church and being with other members in fellowship. Reading and studying the Bible is one thing I do everyday no matter what my schedule any particular day. I am a growing Christian in progress. I consider Jesus my personal Savior and Lord. I will not lie or lie for someone else. I will speak the truth and not be stuck in a situation without consulting my Bible and praying to God before I do anything rash. I know I abruptly ended my relationship with a couple of friends last month but things were coming to a head for a long time when it came to our relationship. I felt, the way I was treated, I was not accepted for who I was entirely because of my anxiety and panic disorder when it came to repeating things when things got real bad for me. True friends put up with your quirks but this one person did not unfortunately. So losing two friends is nothing as long as I have God in my life where he belongs.

I will tell it like it is – my side of it – and will move on. The idea of walking away from my two friends – a husband and wife team – is still very fresh and just happened last month so please forgive me for being a broken record. That is why I am here and have no plans of leaving here unless Dear Diary ends up leaving itself.

This a part of me and throughout the days and weeks ahead Dear Diary readers and friends alike will get to know me through words going across the screen. Please take my quirks and enjoy being here.

God bless and have a good evening…

Remembering 9/11/01, My Day, & More Thoughts

Posted on by
Reply

Remembering 9/11/01

Has it been 11 years already? Now America, the United States are losing American Soldiers left and right because of the war that is still going on overseas. I am so glad that American soldiers are coming home and being with their families but now we have soldiers dying and getting killed overseas because of the ongoing war! I feel for the families who will never see their loved ones who did fight a good fight for our freedoms and rights in the United States. Thanks for fighting for our country soldiers! I still remember what I was doing on that day of September 11, 2011, and I could not even understand right away what was going on because I first thought it was just an accident, a malfunction of the airplane but apparently, it was an attack on us by people who hated us so much. The beginning of a major war. When I found out what was going on, there was a buzz going on around me with people talking, radios on listening to the two planes hitting the twin towers in New York, city, and here I was a year before it happened, in New York at the Macy Parade in person. The twin towers were there then. A scary thought now losing all those people. The beginning of a tragic time for many people who saw the two planes. That morning, before I left for my appointment, apparently I had turned on the TV and saw the 2nd plane hit the twin towers. Sad but very true.

My Day

With that in mind, my day went on as usual today. My shower at 9 am to 1015 am. My IDS worker came by and we did my laundry and made a meal for me to have in my freezer for the week, planned my next grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, and planned to clean my apartment on Friday after we got back from shopping.

Counseling

See my “My Counseling Journal” if you can.

More Thoughts

Even though I have been dwelling on this a little but I have been deeply hurt and feel scarred over all what has happened between JSL and I very much. Memories of her past actions have come flooding into my world the past couple of days now and it is sad to see what has really transpired several days ago that led to my leaving her and becoming free of her for good. I was sick and tired of taking responsibility for my actions and yet she did not seem to take responsibility for her actions for some reason or another. I am not going to sit here and believe it is her disabilities she has because I believe she does understand that she has to take and be responsible for her wrongdoings as well. What she did to me the 1st time I was used as a pawn for what transpired at a meeting with her friend’s dad who happens to be a well-known pastor of our community, JSL’s parents, and the manager of the building. I felt I was on a whole different planet with aliens around me but as the meeting ended, I was able to leave and go back to my apartment with the fact that I took responsibility for my actions that was for the reason the meeting was taking place along with the fact that JSL used my name and address to order CD’s that I would end up having to pay for. I should have told her we were no longer friends that day. Here I have, learned, that I had great respect for JSL’s friend’s father who is a Pastor in our community. Even now, this day, years later, I have great respect for the pastor of our community. Today I am not friends with JSL because I would not apologize for something I did not do and I was not going to apologize at all, and I was going to write her an email stating that I needed a break from her for a while but she decided to take it upon herself to involve other people in my life to get answers from me but I did not respond and did not lose sleep over it. She was not taking responsibility for her actions whatsoever once again. The two altercations that should have put JSL in jail or back on probation had come in the forefront of my memory once again but I did not press charges against her, and became friends with her again. Oops, big mistake. I ended up putting up with her attitude for a long time until the beginning of the month of September. Now I have said my peace and my side of the story.

I am so glad that the building has been taken over by a company that has found this place in a mess – not the fault of the previous owners of course – and cleaning this place up, fixing things that need it, and working everyday to get things done here. I have met the new owner of the building and he seems like a nice gentleman even though people who were let go have not so good feelings towards this gentleman. I guess you can call me “Miss. Chance when it comes to getting to know other people and why things happen the way they do. We had our first in-house inspection last Thursday and we are expecting inspections every 4 months from now on. The new owner of our building works and goes by the book of what needs to be done as far as the rules go for a place like ours – HUD subsidized. Things are being done now. I like that. NMS has been here for 25 years and I am working on my 15th year here now, and this building has been my home the longest I have lived on my own. I had moved out of my parents’ home in December of 1989 and moved three times landing here in 1998. I have been here for 14 years now and have seen tenants come and go and come back again, and then leave once more.

I was out and about this afternoon and learned that a former tenant was here and saw one of the other former tenants delivering something for a tenant here. I was not too thrilled but then, again, whoever is friends with the two former tenants, is not my business. I just stayed out of the way for the most part. I did not want to see the former tenant at all. She is not the nicest person and when she tried to fill out an application after the management had changed, I had learned that her past haunted her and she can not move back in. No one wanted her back here. Now, that is not funny because I was one of those who did not want her moving back here. This tenant was so bossy, got into it with tenants, and told me I was too old to have stuffed animals. She was one tenant who just got on people’s nerves. She even accused me of things I did not say or do and that took care of some things that was in our friendship. When she moved back in and moved out last October she told me she would keep in touch with me but I have not heard from her or seen her but once when she came to the office to fill out an application to move back in. I am so glad she was not allowed to move back in again! This place would have turned upside down all over again if she had.

Thoughts said and done for the day.

The Best Birthday Ever!

Posted on by
Reply

Okay, today I turned 42 years old. I saw my dad’s wife today and we went to Whitewater to see Grandma SB, had lunch at a place called Jessica’s, then we went back to Grandma SB’s for a while before my dad’s wife SGK brought me back home and saw my place and met Bing Crosby the cat.  She thought that Bing was a very pretty cat and that his eyes were just so beautiful.  SGK loves cats and dogs both and has two dogs and two cats.  Dogs: Maggie and Saddie.  Cats:  Sophie and PK.  I believe PK is shortened for Pretty Kitty.  She is one pretty kitty for sure and Sophie is a tabby.  Maggie is an older dog and SGK said that she is not going to be around much longer because she is getting older and slower.  We do not know, as far as Sadie goes what breed she really is but I can tell you that you can not tell what end is what because she is so curly and her fur seems to look unruly until you see a pink tongue sticking out of her mouth.  Her eyes are just as black as her fur, lol.  She is a rambunctious little thing that can jump to and from high places in one leap.  I did not get to meet the animals this time but I got to see Grandma SB and SGK.  SBK gave me the best birthday present ever just by taking and going to see Grandma SB and spending time with her.  It was an amazing birthday!