It seems that I cannot keep up with my journals or my diaries lately.  It can be frustrating at times.  I wish there was more time in the day to get what you have to have to do and want to get done as well but there is a reason why there is only a 12 hr day and sleep is a requirement to get the rest you need.

I am doing fine, though.  I have been busy the past few days.  I can believe how time has gone by so quickly and yet still cannot believe it at the same time.  Does that make any sense?  It does to me but not entirely at the moment because today is going to be a semi-busy day for me – shower and organization and cooking, and I hope we can fit in going to the bank to get quarters.

I will come back later if I do not get too busy,

I returned to Weight Watchers tonight and I am happy about it.  I weight 230.4 lbs.  I am so glad I did not regain ALL of my weight at 240 back in the weeks I did not go from February 13 – the present day.

I can say that my Tuesday was busier than usual.  I was out and about away from the building as well as away from my apartment while I was away in the building roaming around and enjoying the beautiful day.  I had my shower, went grocery shopping at Woodmans, put groceries away, and was in and out of my apartment ALL day.  It was just one of those in and out of my apartment spur of the moment kind of things.  I was not a stay-at-home kind of gal today.  I am looking forward to returning back to Weight Watchers tomorrow and the feeling of returning to Weight Watchers is a different feeling of emotion than it was when I first started out last April 4, 2012.  I am looking forward to going to Weight Watchers tomorrow.  Woo hoo!

I am now happy that I do not have company staying overnight anymore.   It became stressful and a little more congested than I had planned and even hoped.  It was nice having company over but it did raise questions and cause some concern with the people who work with me.

Anyway, my worker who comes on Monday and Thursday had to mention the fact that she thought I needed to go to the hospital or something because she saw me in bed the past three weeks.  The idea of her mentioning it to me was like “oh my goodness, NO!”  I was not sick and lying on my bed is easier sometimes.  I will be bringing this up to MM who is my caseworker at IDS this week before Friday!  If I am sick and I do not feel well, I will let someone know to take me,

AARRGG!!

I do have to admit, with it being Sunday, my weekend was spent at home for the most part of it, alone except when my shower gal was here Friday and Saturday afternoon.  CSE’s cat went home Friday afternoon so Bing and I had our place to ourselves all weekend.  I have learned that having a friend over longer than usual is not a good idea – like a roommate situation – and having a roommate is nice once in a while.  It will be a while before CSE comes to sleep over again but she is still welcome to come here as usual.

I did not do much yesterday except watch TV and play games online, and take it easy for the most part.  Today I plan on going to church and so I better head off and go and get ready as my ride will be within an hour to go to church.

More later…

I am still adjusting to being alone but today is lazy for me.  I have watched TV, played games on Facebook, and did my Bible reading and studying for the day.  I am doing okay but having an adjustment period right now.  It was very nice having CSE here but I do have to admit one thing… … over my head.  Anyway, I just waited for my shower gal to get here at 345 pm to 5 pm this afternoon/early evening.  I took time for Bing and myself today.

I have the apartment to myself once more.  CSE picked up her cat and now they are back at their apartment up on the 3rd floor.  My place will be reorganized once again this coming Monday.  It is beginning to shape up once again.  Bing has a new litter box – sort of – and it is a litter box with a cover on it for more privacy.  It was Ethan’s littler box and now Ethan has a new litter box as well – a cover on it.  I like it.  I am not sure if Bing likes it but again we have not discussed it.

Now that we have our apartment to ourselves again, Bing and I are readjusting of having company here for a while.  I am not totally sure what to feel yet as my feelings are a little mixed up and I am readjusting.  It only has been one night without CSE here.  I will have to give it time to adjust to being alone again and see how I feel by Sunday – two days from now.

I have given it some thought that having CSE here for so long was not a very good idea.  This came to the point after my counseling appointment on Tuesday.  CSE is going back to her own apartment tonight and I will once again have my place to myself again.  Her cat Ethan will stay with me one more night because of the fact that she does not have a litter box yet.  Bing is getting Ethan’s old little box – a covered litter box.  CSE told me that she was going shopping sometime Friday with one of our real sweet neighbors.  I believe that having CSE here as long as I did made it more difficult for me than easy.  I was doing my best at helping her but it did not go as planned and helping had not gone anywhere anyway.  Now CSE has to help herself from here forward by not denying she is ill.  With her here, I have found some of her actions proof that she needs help and should be in the hospital but all I can do – to help her – is to pray for her.  So tonight is the first time i do not have her here.  It is quiet and Ethan is being quiet and good.

I do have to admit that a lot of emotion is coming through right now.  I am not in one of the greatest moods this afternoon after my counseling appointment and I can not really explain it.  I am glad that CSE will be back at her place before Monday because we are expecting a new manager to start on Monday, May 6th,  I met her briefly yesterday and she seems like a very nice person.  My day is also feeling a little fear of that daydream I had earlier today – this morning – when I had been sitting here working on stuff online and writing for the day.  I really do not like certain people anymore – a former friend of mine and a certain tenant who lives here at Burbank Plaza.  I am beginning to wonder if one of our former tenants has anything to do with what a certain trio at Burbank Plaza is all about right now because it so happens that a tenant happens to be a friend of this former tenant.  Some people make me so sick.  My emotions are very high on this one.  My emotions are very high on the fact that CSE has gotten angry before even rationalizing what I say and stomping her feet around here and throwing things around – her things because after my counseling appointment this afternoon, I had asked her if there is anything that can be taken up to her place to help get rid of some clutter.  Honestly, it upset her to the point of destructive behavior.  This evening we have finally agreed to have her going home before Monday when the new manager starts because the new manager wants to know everyone and she might be visiting tenants.  CSE and Ethan need to be back at their own place in their own surroundings again anyway.  I am not responsible for how CSE reacts to things but I still get upset at her outbursts and reactions to my way of speaking instead of asking questions.  Childish behavior has come out of her big time the past three days.  Unbelievable!!!

My shower taken and done, I am now dressed for the day, and a few minutes, I have to head out the door for my counseling appointment.  My shower gal left by 11:45 a.m.  All is good.  I just do not feel super busy today yet is all.  Today is a day of relaxation and such.

Anyway, I have a lot to say today but time is crunching right now so I will have to wait until later once again.  It was a fairly good morning and I will explain as the day continues.

I have to run off again.  I am so busy now-a-days.  Being busy is great but there are moments I wish that those busy days would slow down a little sometimes.  My head feels like it spins in circles real fast, lol.

More later…