Tears and More Tears

I am not something that can be taken out to the trash to buried in more piles of trash.  I am not strong, but I am not weak.  I am one of those people that gets very emotional and cries.  I have my issues and I do not have to be reminded of them. I have got my heart broken tonight and badly enough that I feel I am never going to hear from certain people in my family after what I have been told this afternoon while trying to talk to my dad but talking at my end was impossible because I was in tears.  Why do I even bother with people if my actions, thoughts, and ideas get knocked down and considered unrealistic?  I cannot trust anyone in my immediate family right now.  While my dad was talking to me this afternoon, yes, I got upset and cried because I was told that my brother has my number and he will call me when he is ready. What am I…chopped liver to him? That is how I feel right now as the tears still come and cloud my vision from seeing the words going across the laptop screen.  Then, what really upset me – the most – was the fact that my dad said that I am a nuisance texting and calling people.  I know people work hard five to six days a week while I do not.  I have not talked to my brother for nine to ten years now, so why should it bother me that he will call me when he is ready.  Why should I even care if I ever hear from him again or be so upset?  I have no idea except I want to be connected with people.  What happened earlier today has hurt me to tears.

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