My Thinking Process I

I have made it to the middle of the week that we call “hump day” thanks to a commercial that deals with a camel or with funny memes found online now-a-days.  I have no complaints as this week draws closer to Friday and the weekend is on its way.  Ever since I let DB go, a lot of my stress, tension, and aches and pains, and the feeling of unsteadiness seems to be less, too.  It feels so good not walking on egg shells now.  It has been since February 26, 2018 that I finally decided to let DB go and gave her notice on February 27, 2018.  No complaints anymore.  It just feels good to be comfortable in my own skin once again.

I have talked to my IRIS consultant JR this morning about some things that concerned me.  In fact, she was calling me back in response to my texts and we talked for a while on the phone.  We discussed feelings about going to IRIS 100% now that Santee Home Health Care is closing their doors permanently on March 9, 2018, and that my hours for IRIS are changing from 12 hours per week to 27.5 hours a week that will be billed to Medicaid as of March 11, 2018.  We have also discussed my feelings towards the Santee Home Health workers and my feelings are not very happy feelings.  No one from the company is or will be allowed to into my home/apartment whatsoever.  I have heard that the State was not happy how SSL ran her business and she had her license pulled.  My thoughts on the people she had working for her is more of disgust and her workers were dishonest and very good liars.  The only person I who was honest and never lied was DKF even though DKF spoke her mind openly.  In fact, SSL treated DKF unkindly and was very rude to her for months.  Now, with Santee Home Health Care closing their doors, all the clients who were under their belts have to find personal cares elsewhere or like me, go IRIS 100%.  I am also not very happy that the Santee Home Health Care workers will not work with clients.  SSL allowed her workers to whine, complain, and say they will not work with specific clients.  That is so upsetting and downright childish to be very honest here.  I am glad, without complaining about it, that I have decided to go IRIS 100% before I actually learned of SHC closing doors permanently.  If someone does not operate their business the way it sh0uld be run, then the business should shut down.  I am all for it.  SSL has had a very bad attitude and has said some real mean things to DKF, and who she has had worked for her were shady people except for DKF.  While talking to JR about my thoughts about SSL, I called SSL an evil bitch, and I a professed Christian, does not like to swear like that, and I do speak my mind at times when I believe it is warranted.   SSL has not been a very nice person lately.  She is two-faced.

I do not like talking ill about other people just as much as I do not like people talking ill about me, but when it comes to someone’s personal needs and cares needing to be met so they can live on their own as independently as possible instead of being put into a nursing home, I am all for it, except for the attitude of people who seem to not care about others but themselves and their needs and wants.  I have heard many horror stories of nursing homes in the past few years of my life now that I have always been very cautious about them.  In the past several days now, I have heard about clients who may not be able to live independently anymore because of health risks and issues, and of two people I have heard about need to be in a nursing home or have a guardian watching over them.  Of one person, I believe can take better care of themselves, but chooses not, too.  I have certain issues that frustrate me.  I do have inconsistent bladder issues from time to time as well as having minor difficulty making sure I am totally clean after having a bowel movement, but I do not sit in soiled disposable underwear or on a bed sheet that is wet because I have leaked outside my disposable underwear at night after sleeping well.  I get up and change and clean myself up.  I have help when I have it and I do my best when I am by myself.  I am able to do what I can and will do what I can to be able to live on my own and I have that opportunity to do that right now this very moment in my life/day.

It’s almost time for me to sign off for the night and get to bed so I will not keep writing much more tonight.  I am able to express my thoughts in a diary that is read or not publicly and I am good to go.  I did have a fairly good day today.  I had my 2-month nephology appointment this afternoon and I got there and back safely, and I will not know how things are with my slowly failing kidney is doing.  As of January 3, 2018, it was holding its own and doing fine.  I believe if anything is wrong, Dr. A will get a hold of me immediately.  I am going to say good night and now and come back tomorrow when I have a chance.  I hope everyone has a great night.  Good night.