Coming into My Own

Ever since September 29, 2017, I have been coming into my own with independence at the helm.  Does it scare me?  No. I have been independent once before with any agency like IDS (Independent Disabilities Services) and Catholic Charities.  Before getting help in 2007 – 2017 from IDS and Catholic Charities.  It was worth it as I needed some extra help at the time.  My heart did ache a lot when IDS closed their doors September 29, 2017 to all the clients who still remained with them because all the workers have either retired or lost their jobs in the field they were working in.  During the past five years of being helped with IDS, I had gone through at least three workers called DSP’s until DB came along.  Some things went over my head with a couple of the DSP’s and it was resolved with tears coming down my face and not trusting or liking the Executive Director as much as I once did.  From that day until IDS closed, I found the Executive Director a person who would visit bearing bad news.   I know I sound a little ungrateful here but I have come to trust people less in the past year that my life is a little more private than it has been in the past.  Am I really that ungrateful?

I feel I am coming into my own now.  It is so hard to express myself otherwise.  I am still sad that IDS closed and that I have lost one of my main supports and I very grateful of the support that I did have with this one IDS worker all the time IDS (Independent Disabilities Services) was open to other disabled clients who were finding independence in the real and normal world.  I do have to admit that my IDS worker was a worrier and she made sure that I had everything I needed taken care of within reason.  Her worry did get under my skin from time to time but this very worker helped me become my own advocate from 2012 – 2017.  I am very grateful for her help on that.  Becoming my own advocate was hard at first but it did not take long for my mouth to open to express “here I am”.  I have come into my own.