Okay…my day has gotten away from me…sort of. I had a busy morning, a relaxing afternoon, and early evening of clutter in my mind to start sorting out. The truth is that I have been working on the clutter in my mind for the past four days (over the weekend). The chaos I went through to where I am now is over with now and I can breathe easier now and relax more. It is going on 11 PM CST right now so I am going to end my thoughts for the night and come back sometime tomorrow to write more if I have time.
You may ask, “Clutter?” What on earth is she talking about now? Okay, let’s see what she means by “clutter”. Okay, “go, girl, tell us.”
This entire weekend I have been dealing with a lot of clutter of the mind and so I decided to declutter to make sense of the clutter. Did I succeed? Well…that’s only to the eyes of those who know me well and for those who do not know me well…yet…must be judges of my thoughts I share going across the screen – as the reader and I as the writer, okay? To answer my question of succeeding I must admit it is a work in progress as I continue to move ahead after the chaos I have seen, heard, felt, dealt, and understood for the past six months. Was I lost? While I was gathering the clutter in my mind I must say that I was lost in a way that happiness and understanding was sitting on the sidelines. I was still living my life from day to day but happiness was only a façade on the outside while on the inside I was hurting and confused on the inside. Now the façade is gone and happiness and understanding has returned from inside me. The dim light at the end of the tunnel has become a war defeated within myself. I have found true peace once again, sleep, and what emotion that was not happy is now gone. I did not realize how lost I was. No more going through the motions of life just to get through the day. I am now feeling the motions with emotion again. I did not realize that my life was that cluttered.
Do I want to live in clutter of the mind again? No, I do not. My life is too precious to live in a cluttered mess. Now I should match the cluttered-free world in my mind in my life on the outside. That is a daily work in progress. Boy, my mind was a mess! I did not know which direction to take, where I was going, what I was doing or going to do in my mind. Now that I do know which direction to take, where I am going, what O am doing or going to do, I can say my mind is decluttered. I just beg and plea for others to understand that when our minds get cluttered, do not be afraid to take the time to declutter, okay? Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts this very day, moment, and time.