I Blame Myself For This One

I only have myself to blame for this one.  I have allowed someone to walk all over me and now having seen the true colors come out of this one person floors me to dismay and disgust in myself.  My upstairs neighbor and most of the tenants here disgust me to the point that seeing them does make me sick to my stomach.  Yes, it is that bad!  I need and should be more careful about becoming friends with anyone in the building.  There is a difference being friends and being friendly and courteous out in the public areas of the building I live in and I have to allow myself more space and be more private.  When my upstairs neighbor goes to her eviction hearing Friday morning I hope that the judge presiding the hearing can make a swift judgment that will satisfy everyone involved at the hearing.  No, I am NOT going.  I CANNOT even be in the same room with my upstairs neighbor because all I get is glares and nastiness on her now ugly and mean face.  Ever since I have learned that my upstairs neighbor believes the manager had gotten her boyfriend arrested this past weekend I was practically floor to the extent of wonder how can anyone even be with another who has been in trouble with the law all of their life?  Some people are not worth anything but prayer for their sanity and situation at hand I guess.  I know I am speaking ill of another but it does disgust me that someone would choose a significant other over the rules of living in an apartment complex and get in trouble themselves to the point that management can do nothing more than to proceed with an eviction order and spend money on going to court to get rid of the problem or give a person an ultimatum and a person still chooses the significant other!  Oh my goodness gracious I am not done grieving the loss of a (once) beautiful friendship.  Oh my goodness gracious I am not able to let go of this hurt yet.  I know now that this neighbor has to be gone from here for me to relieve the hurt I have inside me.  I am obsessing over this and I needn’t to do that at all.