Actions Can Speak Louder Than Words

Words and Actions

 Words?  Actions?  These two words come across to me in a saying by a Nicolas Sparks: “You’re going to come across people in your life who say all the right words at the right times. But in the end, it is always their actions you should judge them by.  It’s actions, not words, that matter.”  Umm, I am personally experiencing something in my own life that Nicholas Sparks’ words have come to have me right something straight from my own heart.  I am sitting here right now, sad as it may sound to you, remembering the good times I had with a neighbor who I was once close to and became friends in 2012 shortly after my four-day stint in the hospital in the psych ward due to medication needed to be revaluated because of my anxiety and panic disorder. And enjoying each other having suppers and lunch together, a movie or two, or just hanging around.  The times we spent together was of a great joy.  The gifts we would give one another. I remember this one gift that was a blanket about true friends.  Well, as you may understand, those words trickled my heart with great joy for a while but now the blanket is folded and put away in my bedroom closet because those words do not hold meaning to what has happened in the past several weeks.  Seeing this blanket draped over the back of my futon had made me cry or feel some major heartache for what is no longer available.  Why?  It is because they are just words and the actions of this neighbor now has proven to be the opposite of what a true friend would do, say, or plan.  The blanket is not out of mind but it is out of sight.  I won’t forget the good times I have had with this neighbor who was a friend but what she has done now has changed my feelings towards her to the point that I can do nothing for her except pray my heart out to my Lord and Savior and cry my eyes out day and night.  Words are words and actions are actions, and actions do speak louder than words now-a-days and always have done so.

What my neighbor has done to herself is nothing to laugh or point fingers saying you deserve what has been coming to you for a long time even though there has been a lot of finger pointing at my neighbor lately.  She has decided to not take heed to those who care enough for her and she has chosen to take a road trip down a path that has gotten herself in a little bit of trouble and this Friday will seal her fate on when she must leave the apartment complex and go live elsewhere with her boyfriend who happens to be bad news and the cause of the trouble she has gotten into in the past several weeks.  It is so sad and I am powerless to this kind of outrageous behavior.  I have done everything I could to help my neighbor even though our friendship has died a long time ago.  I have come to trust certain people in my life and that has been a trial for me because my life has had its ups and downs for most my life.  Why do actions seem to be the most prominent over words?  It is indeed true that actions do speak louder than words!

People Do Change

Things are going to change in three days for one individual.  An eviction case is set for Friday, April 21, 2017, and it is going to be determined when this individual will have to move.  I have been thinking about the good times I have had with this tenant who was a very good and trusting friend until recently and knowing why she is being evicted has caused heartache in my own life.  Remembering a blanket, she had given me one year that is based on true friendship once draped on my futon for everyone to see is now folded up in and put away in my bedroom closet.  When the trouble began last year before Christmas I do have to admit that seeing that blanket draped on my futon made me cry and want to cut it up out of anger and pain of friendship that no longer exists to this day.  Putting the blanket away was the best thing I could do for myself and I am planning on giving it to someone I can truly trust and believe would be a true friend forever and ever and not deceive me.

My neighbor has changed.  She is not the same person she was when I first met her in 2012.  She may have friends here at Burbank Plaza but no one likes her boyfriend except for two tenants who do like him.  He is nothing but a loud mouth, a smooth talker, a liar, he verbally abuses my neighbor, is loud day and night by moving, dragging, and dropping things.  Ever since this man has been in my neighbor’s life she has not followed the rules of living here and now that is going to change thanks to a judge’s ruling this Friday, April 21, 2017.  Seeing my neighbor change has made me so sick to my stomach that I cannot even look at her, talk to her, or be in the same room with her.  My anxiety has been through the roof and I live on the first floor and there are three floors of this building.  I would have to go through my unruly neighbor’s apartment and another tenant’s apartment to reach the roof of this building with some of the anxiety I have dealt with in the past several weeks.  The word “try” is a failure word so I rarely use it but “trying” to get 8 hours of sleep a night or more has not happened but six or seven times since October 2016.  I am so nervous to leave my apartment alone right now because I never know when I will run into my neighbor and her boyfriend or just her boyfriend.  Facing other tenants right now, except for three of them, has become a major challenge when alone.  It has been that bad for me even though I have a smile on my face and I am civil to others in passing.  I just wish that my neighbor would abide by the rules and what is going to happen would not have to be in place.  I guess some people change for the worst and this is what happened to my neighbor.