This is my last entry of the day…
This morning at 11 AM I had an appointment with the doctor who helped my local nephrologist place my fistula in my left arm on November 15, 2016. Dr. S looked at my fistula and felt it and gave me the go to use it when time is necessary. Dr. S will let Dr. A know my fistula is good to go. As it comes to my knowledge, Dr. S, I have been dismissed and I do not have to see him any longer unless I have to because something has happened to the fistula itself. My heart has really felt the loss because I really like Dr. S. He took care of me with a wonderful bedside manner. I guess if you do not have to see a doctor for some reason any longer that is a wonderful sign that things are going just fine. I am okay with that but I dislike leaving doctors who have taken good care of me.
FRIENDS OF FACEBOOK,
I AM NOT YELLING. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I UNDERSTAND THAT NOT EVERYONE HAS SPIRITUAL BELIEFS, KNOW GOD, DO NOT BELIEVE IN HIM BECAUSE HE IS AN UNSEEN INDIVIDUAL, AND THAT SOME FRIENDS HAVE DECIDED NOT UNFRIEND ME FOR UNKNOWN REASONS AND I CAN ONLY SPECULATE OR ASSUME WHY. I DO NOT WANT TO ASSUME BECAUSE IT MAKES KAKA OUT OF YOURSELF AND THE PEOPLE YOU ASSUME. I DISLIKE PEOPLE WHO ASSUME THAT MY SPIRITUAL BELIEFS ARE TOO MUCH TO SHARE ON FACEBOOK OR ANY OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA. I DO HAVE TO ADMIT THAT IT DOES TAKE TO BE IN A PERSON’S SHOES TO SEE SOME THINGS IN OTHER PEOPLE AND IF EVERYONE COULD BE IN MY SHOES FOR A DAY, A WEEK, A MONTH, OR A YEAR THEN I BELIEVE EVERYONE WOULD UNDERSTAND MY STRONG SPIRITUAL BELIEFS. I DID NOT BECOME SPIRITUAL AND FIND CHURCH JUST TO GO TO CHURCH EVERY WEEK OR HANG AROUND OTHER CHRISTIANS JUST TO BE MY BELIEFS THROUGH SCRIPTURE, DEVOTIONAL READINGS, AND PERSONAL EXPERIENCES JUST TO EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND UNDERSTANDING OF HOW LIFE IS ON MYSELF. I HAVE MY BELIEFS AND I HAVE A WONDERFUL REASON TO HAVE MY BELIEFS. I WOULD NOT BE HERE TODAY IF IT WASN’T FOR GOD. IN FACT GOD PUT ME EXACTLY WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE IN LIFE AND HE KNOWS WHY HE PUT ME FOR GOOD REASON DESPITE MY ENTIRE UNDERSTANDING.
THE YEAR 2016 I BEGAN A PATH I DID NOT EXPECT TO TAKE AND IT HAS BEEN A GRUELING, EMOTIONAL, PHYSICALLY PAINFUL AT TIMES, AND MENTALLY CHALLENGING AT TIMES. I AM NOT HERE YELLING AT ANY OF FACEBOOK FRIENDS HERE BUT I HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING WHY SOME HAVE UNFRIENDED MY FACEBOOK AND MY OWNLY REASON IS BECAUSE OF SPIRITUAL POSTS. I UNDERSTAND THAT I CANNOT AND WILL NOT PLEASE EVERYONE BUT I CAN SURELY SAY THAT WHHEN I AM UNFRIENDED BY SOMEONE I CARE DEEPLY AND WISH TO CONTINUE A FINE RELATIONSHIP THAT DOES NOT INCLUDE SPIRITUAL BELIEFS, I AM DEEPLY HURT AND MY HEART ACHES.
HERE’S SOMETHING FOR YOU ALL TO REMEMBER. AGAIN I AM NOT YELLING. I WAS BORN 2 MONTHS PREMATURELY, BORN AS A SURVIVING TWIN WHEN MY PARENTS AND DOCTOR DID NOT EVEN KNOW MOM WAS CARRYING TWINS AND TWIN SISTER DID NOT HAVE A CHANCE TO LIVE, AND I BELIEVE GOD ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN BECAUSE MY TWIN SISTER (KARI) WOULD HAVE HAD A ROUGHER LIFE THAN I WOULD HAVE. I WAS BORN WITH CEREBRAL PALSY, TEASED BY MIDDLE SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL COLLEAGUES ALIKE, HAD A KIDNEY TRANSPLANT BECAUSE I DEALT WITH TOTAL KIDNEY FAILURE AT THE AGE OF 17, HAD A TRANSPLANT LESS THAN 5 MONTHS BEFORE I TURNED 18, AND NOW AFTER ALMOST 29 YEARS MY TRANSPLANTED KIDNEY, THANKS TO MY MOTHER, MARY FOX, STEPPING UP TO THE PLATE TO SEE IF SHE COULD BE MY DONOR, AND GOD MADE/ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN. AT THAT TIME I DID NOT UNDERSTAND BUT AS OF AUGUST 2015 – FEBRUARY 1, 2016, AND TODAY IN 2017, GOD HAS GOTTEN ME THIS FAR, AND I WOULD LIKE TO BE A CANDIDATE FOR ANOTHER TRANSPLANT. AS OF TODAY I HAVE TALKED TO SOMEONE ABOUT SETTING UP AN APPOINTMENT TO HAVE A MEETING AND SOME TESTS DONE SO THAT I CAN FIND OUT IF I AM A CANDIDATE FOR A 2ND TRANSPLANT. I HAD A TEACHER, WHO JUST PASSED AWAY MONDAY OF LAST WEEK WHO TAUGHT ME NOT TO GIVE UP AND THIS TEACHER HAD DEALT WITH PARKINSON’S DISEASE THE LAST FEW YEARS OF HIS LIFE AND THE LAST SIX YEARS WERE VERY TOUGH ON HIM. THIS TEACHER HAS TAUGHT ME SOME THINGS I WILL NEVER FORGET, IN MY RIGHT MIND, AND HE NEVER GAVE UP EITHER. THE DISEASE TOOK HIM. I AM ONE WHO WILL NOT GIVE UP ON LIFE EITHER, I AM HERE BECAUSE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. I JUST ASK FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND KINDNESS. I KNOW MANY OF YOU UNDERSTAND ME. I JUST HAD TO VENT WHAT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR A LONG TIME.
I ALSO DID NOT REKINDLE FRIENDSHIPS JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT, WHAT FRIENDSHIPS I LEFT BEHIND FOR A WHILE AND HAD REKINDLED WERE DONE BECAUSE GOD HAS GIVEN ME WHAT WAS NECESSARY. I KNOW I AM NOT PERFECT BUT PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN TO ACCEPT PEOPLE THE WAY THEY ARE NO MATTER IF THEY ARE ANNOYING, FRUSTRATE YOU, DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE SAY WAY YOU DO, OR DO NOT LOOK THE PART FOR SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE. WE ARE ALL HERE BECAUSE OF GOD AND THANK YOU FOR READING MY RANT – FIRST ONE OF THE YEAR. NOW YOU KNOW A LITTLE MORE ABOUT ME THAT I HAVE NOT SHARED BEFORE OR HAVE EXPRESSED BEFORE.