Another Day Has Gotten Past Me and Some Thoughts

Another Day Has Gotten Past Me

Before I go any further into what happened more the other day, I just realized that yesterday went by me so quickly after 2 PM when I got home from Best Buy doing a little shopping for some new things.  That is all I can tell you really.  I am not sure when i will get the money in the mail to get what I wanted for my new stuff but patience is a virtue I have to contend with on a daily basis when it gets tough and rough to do so most of the time with me.  After I had gotten home from shopping, I just relaxed and did nothing much on my phone or laptop.  I was beat.  The temperature outside was 0 degrees with the windchill at -3 but I dressed warmly and went out.  I was NOT going to miss out on my little shopping expedition yesterday if I could help it.  Once the money comes in I am going to pick up what I am getting new.  Another day has gotten past me!

Some Thoughts

The other day, January 5, I have heard that Almost Family, DHS (Department of Health Services), and IRIS are working hard on my behalf to get personal care services after the January 18 if I have to leave Almost Family.  So far IRIS has run into snag after snag doing their best at finding another company to take me on but it seems that many companies now-a-days do not have personal cares or not enough workers to help out.  It does seem a little frustrating and a lot of hard work is not showing any great promises yet.  I am feeling the tension enough that my heart is feeling a little broken right now but yet I am relying on God’s help in this matter despite my human emotions that are plaguing my life right now and have for a while now.  It is kind of sad if you look at it.  From what I understand, Almost Family is the only company that will take me on at this moment and I hope they can keep me while they get this billing issue resolved.  The frustration must be more on Almost Family and IRIS working on my behalf than the frustration I feel because I am in the middle of the whole thing.

As I sit here and wonder what is going to happen now really bugs me to the very core of my being.  I am doing my very best and keeping my head up and my chin from falling but I do find it a little difficult at times.  I am tired of dealing with raw emotions that cause my anxiety to flare up to the point I cannot control it or calm it down.  I can barely sit down long enough to concentrate on anything.  That is very hard to do.  This is when I have to let the anxiety run its course and eventually I will find peace and do what I can to understand what is in front of me.  I remember, almost five years ago now, that at one time I could not hear anyone talking to me to calm me down because I would go off in a tangent on what needs to be done as if I was fixated on that one things I needed or wanted to do.  Now I can make sense of what is being said to me, express my thought, opinion, and deal with what emotion is of the time.  From October to December when I was dealing with RS and her boyfriend DB I was dealing with a lot of emotions at once because of all the appointments I was going to in regard to my slowly diminishing transplanted kidney I have had for almost 29 years now as of March 12.  I just had a rough time.  My body is NOW getting used to the day becoming dark and night a little earlier but I am still stuck in what we call limbo of the mind.  Thursday night I went to lay down before 7 PM!  I just had to in order to relax before falling asleep.  I will be okay.  I have gotten this far in life with hitches or no hitches attached.  Right now I am even surprised that my concentration level is a little lower than normal and here I am writing a chapter of my life this morning.  I have to write when I do and when I do I can write a lot and in circles I go.

With today being Saturday, January 7, 2017, I am going to church this morning in Beloit.  Pastor Van and his wife CV will be picking me up.  No major plans today except church.  Even though my concentration level is down a little bit going to church every Saturday is something i really enjoy doing and I feel is not an option to miss unless I really have to for medical purposes.  I dislike missing church and being with others.  It is going to be a fairly good day despite how cold it is outdoors right this minute.  I’ll just dress warmly is all.  I am dressed for church right now.  I have been up since a little before 7 AM.

I am going to head off for now.  I am not going to make any promises I will be back later today or not just yet.  I have to play it by ear and what I need or want to do later this afternoon since I do not have a shower gal coming this weekend right now.  What I wrote today so far are some thoughts plaguing my mind and an update on how things are going.  I am no longer having any more trouble with RS but our friendship has been really tested.  I still do not trust her entirely and her boyfriend is one man I will never like.  He’s not right for RS at all.  I still believe something is way off here but this is RS’ life and she is the very one who has to live her life.