A Busy Weekend & Today

A Busy Weekend

I had a very busy weekend!  In fact, I went to church on Saturday and Sunday, and I great time all weekend long.  I had gotten home yesterday, after 12 noon, not knowing exactly what time I had finally arrived to my apartment because I ended up chatting with a couple of neighbors in the lobby.  In fact, promising a Facebook friend I would say hello to his aunt for him the next time I saw his aunt, I would, so I was able to do that for him.   Then… Finally I arrived to my apartment that was so many feet away from the apartment building’s lobby.  I was bound and determined to relax and get comfortable for the rest of the day and evening, and last night around 1040 pm CSE came in to let me know she had just gotten home.  I had dozed off between 5 and 10 pm because I was tired from having such a very busy weekend – another busy week on top of that.


I had my scheduled shower at 8 am this morning.  Then the rest of the day I did much of nothing.  I ended up getting my period on Saturday after my worker MM, KB, and I ended up talking about them!  LOL  … Anyway, I relaxed, and CSE is coming and going back and forth from her apartment and mine today after having supper with me and wanting to be online down here for a while.  I really have not done much of anything outside the apartment today.  It is cloudy outdoors and we are expecting 50% chance of thunderstorms by Wednesday which blows my chance of getting out this week to go to the Job Center to the BTC room so I can take care of some paperwork to refresh my math, reading, and writing.  It might have to wait until next week now.  I have to wait and see. I have been super duper busy the past two weeks now.


Good Morning!

I thought I would say good morning very quickly.  I have company coming at 8 am CST this morning and we are going to begin organizing my bedroom for an hour today, the the rest of the day is all mine and I intend on not going anywhere until Sunday morning to church at Bethel Baptist Church.

JP and J were here for only a half an hour this morning.  JP vacuumed my living room floor, swept and mopped the kitchen, hallway, and bathroom floors, and we picked up my bedroom a little bit.  I have two packages of disposable underwear left for the rest of the month – not bad – plus 11 to 13 pairs of disposable underwear in the bathroom.  Again, not bad at all.

\12:21 pm CST

As it goes… I got a call from our pastor today so I will be going to church tomorrow as well as Sunday.  I have a busy weekend ahead but a fine one it is going to be.

12:28 pm CST

Now I am taking advantage of the rest of my day after getting my medications for next month.


A Few Thoughts Comes To Mind

A thought came to my mind – some time ago – and now I have to say something about it before I go crazy in the head … not really crazy anymore.  I do not have anxiety but this thought came into mind a couple of days ago or so now and I have not said nothing about it until now.  So… Okay, here it goes…

I have been wondering about some people who have been friends of mine at one time or another but I have either walked away from them or they did – mostly I walked away.  Walking away from NMS was the hardest of all because of how our friendship truly ended but I have to admit that having her out of my life is the best thung that has ever happened to me along with everyone else I have walked away from in order to live a healthy and comfortable life without negativity.  To be very honest here, even with that said in my heart, I still wonder what my now former friends are up to these days.  I know NMS will never changed.  of all the times I have seen her in the public areas of the building we both live in, she has not said a word and walked past me as if I do not exist and I feel the same as she does – she does not exist anymore either,  She is just another neighbor now and I will never do anything with or for her ever again.  It took her two weeks to deliver my Sabbath quarterly to my apartment – founded by my shower gal KB last weekend.  I found that so NMS after all that was said to me in the way she put it and never to hear a kind word come out of her mouth to me for a very long time. I have feel, now, that my Christian life can live without her for good.  She has some major emotional problems and yet I have yet not heard an apology come out of her mouth because she has deemed herself the one in the right and I was in the wrong.

Along with NMS I have wondered about MEE.  He was a friend for almost 14 years until his three suicide attempts and dating and marrying a girl who is also suicidal and now have two children.  I had to walk away from him because he acted like I was jealous of his girlfriend – now wife – and believe it or not – I was never jealous but he started acting strange around me when he started being in her life.I find MEE and his wife a lethal combination as a couple because they met while in the hospital when they both had suicidal tendencies and were in the hospital at the same time a couple of times.  I believe one of his suicidal attempts was brought on himself because he wanted to be with his girl.  I have not spoken to MEE for two years now and I still care not to speak to him ever again for as long as we both live.  I have disagreed the relationship he has with his now wife from the beginning but MEE and his wife really have their own life to live.  Thank goodness it is without me!  I really dislike MEE very much today and have for a very long time.

Now, along the way, KW and her husband come into mind but never will I see KW with a smile on her face ever again.  The last time I saw KW and her husband was when they were waiting their turn for their counselor to see them while MM and I left after ours.  KW’s look on her face was horrible and anger was flared in her face big time,  MEE’s wife was with her and her look on her face was raw and nasty looking as well.  At that moment, seeing their faces made my head spin and I felt dizzy and wanted out of that room in a flash so MM and I got out of their fast.  The only person who said hello to me among the group was KW’s husband JW in his kindhearted fashion and I said hello to the trio without faltering  but was glad to get away from them.  Their faces put me in a fog for a while.  KW will never change.  She still has people fight her battles for her when in reality she can fight her own battles.  My way of thinking, KW uses people and no one is her friend unless you do not cross her and I have crossed her more than once and this time I walked away from her and want nothing to do with her whatsoever.

When NMS and I stopped communicating with one another last month – now over a month – I have lost one of the greatest people in my world but now am able to move on after getting emotionally well and learning about boundaries. Now, just recently I decided to walk away from LS.  She is one person my world can no longer fit because of constant lying and backstabbing ways, and the fact that she, too, uses people big time to get exactly what she wants and if she does not get, she dumps that person within a big horrid flash.  I just saw her leave with MW to go to lunch some where – probably still attends the Salvation Army meals everyday.  I used to go with LS and MW to the Salvation Army for a meal but that soon ended when I got sick from other people who were sick constantly more than once.  I had to give it up and stay away from the place otherwise.  I am so happy that LS is out of my life now.  She is on her own now regarding MW and A.  I have not even spoken to A for almost three weeks now myself because of the constant battle he has with LS calling him and I have heard about it from day to day when things were rocky between LS and A, an MW.  I just do not have the emotional stamina and toll to handle such drama any longer.  I have to continue walking away from things in order to stay sane.

I have always wondered what the PA family is up to as there has been no communication between PA, AR. WI. and KS for three years now.  Something happened there and I have absolutely no idea to be very honest here.  All I know is about, though it was never seen, is the nasty letter my father had received from PA and that ended the communication with the entire family after that.  The family has long since changed their telephone number and are now dealing with their own lives without communication among certain family members.  I do not feel sorry for them but I am praying for them despite my feelings about the communication issue going on.  The PA family does have their problems unfortunately.  Mental illness does run in the family on both sides of the family – my mother’s and father’s both, and my brother’s wife’s family as well.  A triple whammy I am not sorry for.   I have always believed that my brother’s wife is mentally ill – bipolar possibly.  Who really knows or cares.  Dad does not want nothing to do with my brother’s wife anymore anyway.  She is a horrible, mean, nasty woman who has destroyed my brother – according to dad.  We shall wait and see when the truth comes out.  My sister, who is 25 years old and I want nothing to do with our brother or his wife whatsoever – definitely our brother.  His wife has burned the bridges he could cross to come our way now – at least mine.  His wife is a bitch to be very honest here.

Now my thoughts are out in the open and I am FREE of them once more.  YAY!


My Past & Present Life

I do have to admit that I have had a lot of anxiousness and problems dealing with problems that had arisen in life – not all mine.  I would take things personally.  I was most vulnerable and hurt real easy.  Ever since March 11, 2012, I have not spoken to NMS and we have run into one another in the public area of the building without saying one word to one another.  That day has yet not been forgotten but now I am in my present life.  NMS does not exist at all.  She has no more say of what my life is about when it comes to CSE and myself.  I am finally getting used to the life CSE lives with and without me – new friends she has met on the outside of the building.  I have neighbors now I associate with who play Yahtzee and I did just that today.  I did see NMS this morning as well, getting her mail along with a couple of other tenants – neighbor who lives above me and in Apt 210.  That is where I went to play Yahtzee this afternoon – 3 games.  I won one game, R’s helper one one game, and B won the last game with one 50 pt Yahtzee and then two 100 pt Yahtzee’s.  I had two Yahtzee’s – 1 in the 1st game and one in the 3rd game.  I had a fine afternoon along with company at 12 noon. a walk outside from the front door to former Teamster Hall building and back to the apartment, then I had played Yahtzee with my neighbors.  I had a busy day after all.  A good day all day long,

My past life, even though remembered, is now where it belongs.

CSE was here from 530 pm to 10 pm tonight using the internet.  Now it is time for me to go to bed.

Good night and God bless.

My Week So Far On Thursday II

I have had my shower and now and dressed.  RK is about to leave for the week and be back next Tuesday.  KP will be here after her appointment at 1030 am, and then rest of the day is mine.  The weather is supposed to be partly cloudy all day long today so planning on running an errand with my power chair is not going to happen after all.  We will see what tomorrow brings after 9 am.  All is good.


As for my week so far, it has been fairly busy again and I did not go to my weight watchers meeting last night,  The weather was rainy and wet, and I just did not feel right going out in the rainy weather alone yesterday. I do intend on going back to the Weight Watchers meetings next Wednesday, though.  I won’t stop going to them.  I am on a roll losing weight and it is going to remain that way UNTIL I lose the weight I need off this ol’ body of mine.

This week has been busy.

Right Now

I do wonder what is going to happen this summer when there are changes occur here at the building I live in.  I wonder if JSL’s husband DL will still have a job mowing the lawn when changes occur.  Is JSL’s father retiring?  If that will happen, there are going to be some major changes happening in my life/world once again.  We shall wait and see.

My Week So Far On Thursday I

So far this morning being somewhat awake at 530 am, CSE came down for a few minutes to plug in my power chair because I am planning on running an errand after company leaves when time with KP is over.  I am looking forward to seeing KP.  We were playing telephone tag all day yesterday, lol

I will have my shower at 9 am this morning.

My Morning, Grocery Shopping, Good Afternoon

My Morning

I woke up a few minutes before 7 am, watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse at 7 am, and then watched Murder, She Wrote after watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  I know that MMCH is a show for kids and children, I find it fun to watch right away in the morning – how kids learn.  I also like Mickey Mouse!

I watched TV, got online here to update my diary here, and waited patient for RK to come and help with my shower. got dressed for the day, and waited for time to pass before JP came and took me grocery shopping.  In fact, JP came around 1130 am when RK was still here and at 1145 am, we both walked out the door together and I went grocery shopping with JP who had the car in front waiting patiently for me.

Grocery Shopping

JP and I went grocery shopping at Pick N Save instead of Wal-Mart since it was raining.  She had already been there with CD this morning and found a couple of things I had on my grocery list and saw that Pick N Save was having a deal on 10 Smart One dinner for $3 off.  Awesome!  The only thing I do not like about Pick N Save is that it costs more than it does at Wal-Mart and Woodmans.  I hope next week we go to Wal-Mart – weather permitting of course.

Good Afternoon

I just wanted to say good afternoon.  I will be eating dinner at 5 pm or so.

LS Called Again, Life With My Personal Savior & Lord

I am not going to allow LS back into my world.  I have promised myself I would not after what happened the past two weeks or so.  I am definitely sick and tired of her drama, her lies, and the fact that she is with a man who really does not give her the time of day she really deserves.  My word sticks where it does and it is going to remain that way until MW is out of life and she stops being such a liar that she has been the moment I met her.  My wants and need to call her SIL and tell SG how I really feel about LS, I would probably be doing the wrong thing by doing so.  Not even sure if SG would even believe a word I say and take EVERYTHING I say and tell LS herself.  Anyway…

LS called again this evening and I did not answer the phone or call her back.  She is out of my life.  LS must be lonely or something horrible as that.  She is a liar, she uses people, and she just wears everyone out after a while and she has worn me out a long time ago now and now this has come to the point of having nothing to do with anymore.  I can handle that one.  LS is not a loss at all. I believe that our, now, former neighbor EW, who has been gone since September 28, 2008, would understand my feelings now and not say anything against my thoughts but she will definitely give me her opinion and yet be patient as possible.  Do I ever miss EW very much sometimes.  I believe she would be proud of my growth in the past year if she was with us today, too.

Life With My Personal Savior & Lord

Okay doke … I have to admit one thing.  The past month now I have really enjoyed my world and my life with my personal Savior and Lord.  The past two weekends now I have really enjoyed the sermons during Worship service and have really enjoyed the music – making a joyful noise to the Lord during the time we sing before and after Worship service.  I felt like dancing and smiling as I sang the best I could – perfect in God’s ears of course – and be happy being among other believers.

Hello, Good Afternoon Almost Evening, My Morning, 2 PM – 315 PM, and My World Today


It is just a quick hello here.  I have a lot to say right now so I am going on to do just that through words here.

Good Afternoon Almost Evening

Good afternoon.  It is almost evening here.  CSE will be down in a bit to have supper with me even though we pretty much eat our own food and snacks now that I am on a weight watchers eating plan — no longer calling it a diet now that I am getting used to eating properly and better.

My Morning

I did not have my shower at 8 am this morning.  It was postponed to 2 pm – 315 pm this afternoon because I had an appointment at 9 am at the Rock County Job Center down the street from me 3 blocks away, and TG, my caseworker, was going with me. I was picked up at 830 am and she drove both us to the Job Center and while I was there, before the appointment, I checked something out with the Blackhawk Tech room that is there about some free classes.  I found out what I needed and still made it to the appointment on time.  The appointment begins at 9 am on Mondays every week and once the appointment starts, no one else is allowed into the appointment late and are told to come back next time.  There are appointments every week.  The appointment did not take long.  I filled out an application and then TG and I left to have breakfast at Eagle Inn.  I had two egg beater egg, fruit and rye toast for my breakfast, along with water.

After breakfast TG dropped me off at home and I was home by 1045 am.

2 PM – 315 PM

YE came bu at 2 pm this afternoon to help me with my shower instead of my original time 8 am to 915 am because of an appointment I had to be at.

My World Today

My world today has been very good.  I did not hear from MM until 635 pm but she did not forget to call me.  I had called her twice today hoping and thinking about her family as there was a family emergency Friday afternoon.  I had learned that her family emergency was not horrible.  She just needed to take care of her nephews for her niece because something happened there.  I did explain to MM about how I felt about HL and her standoffish way and we discussed it for a while.  It came to the conclusion that I will discuss it with SW, my counselor the next time I go in for my next session.  I will go from there.

As for my world, it was a nice day today.