It does not seem an hour and a half has gone by in my wee world at this moment.  Nothing new has happened yet exactly except running to the bathroom a few times already, watching Live TV at the moment, had watched some recorded TV already, and been engross in “Little Women” the past few days and now cannot put the darn Kindle Reader down without disgust and the need.  Bing Crosby the kitty has been loving and full of meows and patience this day for me that is so nice.  He is not demanding my lap this day so I have it bear with my Kindle Reader in my hand or my cell phone playing Words With Friends, Scrabble, and android games I love most on my cell phone.  I will never go back to a standard cell phone unless I REALLY REALLY REALLY have to.  My mind is overthinking a bit at the moment and yet I cannot put down my Kindle reader too long to write my thoughts over the screen here much too long.  Bing has had his so-called washing of self on the living room floor and I told him that CSE was not coming down at all this weekend and after supper, it will be our weekend with no more company coming after KB leaves for the weekend – my 5 pm shower about 2 1/2 hours away, supper with my best friend SJ, and then the rest of the weekend all mine and Bing’s.  I still have NOT started my “Anxiety & Panic Disorder Journal” my IDS caseworker MM wants me to write and look back on every time i fall into another anxiety and panic spell like i did two weeks ago.  The anxiety and panic spell I had two weeks ago practically mimicked the one I had a year ago around the same time.  It is believed in my heart that this horrible panic attack I had this last time that mimicked the one last year has something to do with Winter turning into Spring now.  I know who and what triggers my anxiety and that is real good.  Now I have to heal.  Well, I better go and begin writing my “Anxiety & Panic Disorder Journal” before I have to really think about getting ready for my shower and evening with my friend SJ.  SJ is gay and we are real good friends.  I love him to pieces for being such an honest fellow with love and understanding of women and men both.  I do not give a darn if my friend SJ is gay.  He is a good person!

Anyway, having dinner with my friend SJ does not mean that I will stay up real late.  I do not up past 9 pm much anymore unless it is an occasion and since it is Saturday, I do stay up a little later but not very much later than usual.  I have a set sleep schedule and want my 8 to 9 hours of sleep to regenerate my body.  That is one reason why I resume to sleep in my bed again instead in my recliner or on the futon in living room now-a-days since February 29, 2012.  I have changed my ways a bit once again – a little late.  I am trying to do my resolutions – late of course – now.  Time to make some serious changes in my world.  My sleep last night was great and I slept very well all night long – dreamed something I cannot remember now – strange but true.

Again… More later.  Good bye for now once again.  ”sigh”

I wanted to say hello and good morning before the morning finally escapes me.  I have two Dear Diary journals to keep up with now – love it!  What I share at my Dear Diary site will or will not be shared here.  It really depends.  I will sometimes copy and paste here but not everyday any longer.  I will still write here and write there but not always the same thing for personal reasons.  My life is my life and I will share it whenever I wish.  Like at Dear Diary, I will tell it like it is there and here – same place I know but sometimes I find it better here.  I am thinking about coming here on a permanent basis but that is still in the thinking process yet.  I am always in the thinking process – overthinking as well, lol.  I still love to journal despite what i think or do daily.  Soon afternoon will be here. YAY!

Bing, my white kitty with the nicest blue eyes is being such a good kitty today – has been for the past few weeks now most of the time.  We have been sharing time together more lately.  Now that I am sleeping in my bedroom once again since February 29th, I do have  to admit that Bing’s attitude has softened and become a joy once again.  He does throw an attitude once in a while but lately no major problems and no worries from this mom of his.  I love him no matter what.   I have slept in my recliner twice since the 29th now and it is such a joy to be able to go to my bedroom and sleep comfortably there once again.  Not scared of my room anymore.

I do have to admit one thing.  My neighbor upstairs is still a questionable character yet.  I only saw her once since she moved into the building and I hear her everyday in her apartment going across the floor with her power chair or wheel chair she uses daily to get around,  Her dog does bark often and the past few days I have heard the barking less but her noise more, lol.  What the heck is wrong with this place?  My apartment is one place I can call mine still and … the rest of this building is not even my problem.  I will associate with the manager more than anyone else in this building – once to twice a week and every month when my rent is due.  I can really stay away from everyone else in the building and yet I am not a hermitess and do not intend to be one even though my apartment is my refuge and my mainstay and place I can call mine.  I really want my own home though but then again the noises I hear at TM will no longer be heard and the silence of apartment noises will be forever silence and I cannot stand total silence everyday.  Anxiety and panic will set it big time in minutes in that case, lol.  Maybe anxiety and panic will not exist at all anymore either but then again I cannot afford my own home yet.  Apartment living is it for now for the rest of my days possibly yet.  Not sure yet.  I have homes to go to yet thankfully.  I have aunts and uncles still alive, parents and one sister alive,  Need I say more.

Okay, enough of my rambled life.  Gotta go!  More later maybe.