Okay, I do have to admit that I love it here at New Dear Diary. The ONLY thing I do not like is the spam comments I get and have been weeding them out and editing out them very carefully now since I have heard about this happening here. I mainly copy and paste the same entry I have written at Dear Diary and let it go at that. Last night and today I have chosen to post either/or and have posted here more than at my other Dear Diary blog just for a change. I still love it here and still very much love Dear Diary and will not leave this blog unless Dear Diary disbands and leave the cyber airwaves itself. My world in words is here to stay otherwise. God bless other Dear Diary writers! Love em! Gotta go for my walk now. Later …
Okay, I have said this probably a thousand times now but I really do not care. I am venting … exactly … maybe a little at the moment anyway.
Why do the creators of Farkle even bother creating a chat when it comes to playing with opponents when players rarely use it. I do not use it much anymore because other players do not want to chat with me anyway, I have run into some chatters in the past but very few in the past few months now. I have even run into some real kooks as far as chatters are concerned – men especially! I am a young woman who does NOT like talking sex, politics, or religion to other people except for her fellow Christians now a days because these topics are so diverse and so many opinions are built up and such topics become heated and mangled into a fine, horrid mess. Who needs the damn stress? I surely don’t! I have my own demons to contend with everyday of my life now. I just got out of a fine emotional mess a few days ago now and need NOT to fly right into another fine emotional mess again for a long time ,,, for the rest of my life if I can help it from this day forward but I know that is not totally possible. I am not flawless or faultless these days, I am a human being imperfect like everyone else in this world under God’s watchfulness. Anyway,,,
Here I played Farkle this afternoon now several times with other opponents, No one chatted and I disabled chat a couple of times myself. I have had men chatting with me talking sexually so now when I play with an opponent who is male, I disable chat in a flash/second and not deal with him. Men can be so darn gross and sick talking sexually at me. I have enough problems having a male friend, who will remain nameless, always messaging me, “hello sexy!”. I HATE THAT VERY MUCH! It’s gross and demeaning to me. I am not like that idiot. So I finally ignored and stopped messaging the idiot back and he has not messaged me for a while now. Damn men think with their damn penises than they do with their brains unless their damn penis is their damn brain. Gross idiots!! Sick! Another anyway.,.
In a few minutes I will be doing my walk regimen out in the hallway and see what the manager is up to this sunny but chilly afternoon. I got done playing Farkle for a while with other players … one man seemed to be very competitive and wanting to win the game so darn badly every time I got up to his score or higher. BTW, he did win the game anyway, I won only two games so far today and one of them was a draw because the opponent did not even play. Dang it people. Why bother playing Farkle with an opponent if you do not wish to play with another? How rude you idiots are! Some people are just plain too damn competitive these days and it drives me up a darn wall! Some people are just too competitive for me at times. Oh don’t get me wrong here because I too can be competitive and I do have that nature in me as well but honestly, I do not compete often enough because I hate competitions. I do not like to, unless I have to, forfeit a game of Farkle sometimes but I continue to play the game no matter how many Farkles I have in a roll that others do leave the game for after reaching three Farkles and a -500 in a game. AARRGG!!
Okay, this was not a “sort of” vent. It was… fine and good now, I think. Now I can go on my walk regimen. I have to take my phone with me because I am expecting a call back from Madison sometime today or before the weekend starts tomorrow at 430 pm around here. Good bye for now but not forever. Later…
|Taking Time For Self NowI went to bed around 938 pm last night right after finishing up my writing for the day at New Dear Diary. I listened to music for about twenty minutes before finally closing up shop for the night and climbing under the covers with Bing right near me – at my feet. I had set my alarm clock in bedroom at 7 am and decided to get up at that our to give time for myself before my 9 am shower this morning. I have already played a game of Words With Friends, Scrabble, and texted a couple of people for the morning, and now taking time to write at Dear Diary before my shower. This is “taking time for self now”… Bing has already sat on my lap this morning giving his morning wishes and kisses, and now is laying behind my on the back of the recliner where we love to reside most of the time during the day when we do not have anything else to do right when we get going in the morning. I am awake and ready for my day – at least part of it anyway. I hate not having a shower in my mornings when morning showers are scheduled. That will happen within the next half hour now. I have had the TV off all night long now and have not turned it on right away as soon as I got out into the living room for the early morning before my shower. No need to really turn the TV on yet anyway. Nothing to watch and most of my shows I record can be watched later. I feel well rested and ready for my day even though there are no plans made for the day after my shower. I keeping mentioning shower – don’t I? lol … my showers, outside Friday and Saturday are my focus of the mornings now – 6 days worth of showers now for the past several months now. Yay!
It is now officially 730 am now and RK will be here within a half an hour from now. I believe I have given myself enough time for self now – I think.
Recap of Yesterday
I did a lot of writing and reading yesterday … playing games on my smartphone and on Facebook as well. This morning I read a chapter of “Little Women” as well as part of my “taking time for self” right away this morning as soon as I trampsed into in the living room and sat down for my early morning ritual. I do a lot of sitting in my recliner these days – oops. Today I think I am going to do a lot of reading again. I am just about half way into the book I am now reading – thankfully. I have other things to do.
I do have to admit that my mind is abuzz with thought all over again this morning. I just do not know what to do with half of my thoughts. Yesterday did not feel like a Wednesday and waking up to a Thursday that does not feel like it is a Thursday either. I do not like winter months – strange one this year – and the Spring months are soon approaching. I am just beside myself right now – off. I had called my IDS worker and told her what yesterday felt like and called around 730 am to tell her that today seemed the same as yesterday. I hate my shifty moods this month! Between Winter and Spring I get this way and it drives me crazy – literally. I scare myself real easy during this time of the year. Must have been a full moon the past few days! I even have my monthly now – started late last night when I went to bed after 10 pm! Yuck! This time I did not feel like a faucet that was left running but several days ago I cracked under pressure from anxiety and panic of things that kept building up until I could not take it anymore. That is what happened this time and last March of 2011 as well. Must be a Winter to Spring seasonal thing with me. Oh well. The important thing is that I am still here. Another day has come and things have to be done today, tomorrow, and I do have possible plans for Saturday after my 5 to 615 pm showering with my best friend SJ. Did I tell you that my friend SJ is gay? He is and a sweet gentleman to hang with and chat with online all the time.
I just have RK coming to help me with my shower this morning at 9 to 1015 am this morning … no plans made today. It DOES NOT feel like a Thursday to me. Dang Springtime weather ALL winter long. The snowstorm we had a few days ago is now pretty much gone and today the sun is shining more and yesterday the sun was not shining at all. I do believe in the weather people once in a while. I love Haddie McLain a lot. Nope, did not listen to the news or weather yet today. It is now 845 am. Gotta run for now to have a few minutes of reading time again before RK gets here. Later…
Is This really Wednesday
Okay, forgive me here, but today does not seem to be Wednesday to me at all. I cannot really explain it right now and may never have the opportunity to do so after tonight anyway. It just DOES NOT feel like Wednesday to me at all ,,, NOT AT ALL! I have done my normal Wednesday stuff – no walk regimen today – but read most of the day and played Scrabble and Words With Friends on my smart phone all day long, and watched a few recorded shows and mostly Live TV today,
I got a call from CSE a while ago and she came down to pay me for the use of the internet. She pays $5 a month for the use of the internet when she does not visit here – when possible on the 3rd floor for her. I do not allow her to go into the community room using my internet because I do not want other tenants nosing in our arrangement of internet use. After dissolving my so-called business relationship with the tenant who lives in my now former 3rd floor apartment, I do not want this idiot knowing my business with CSE whatsoever. The reason I dissolved my business relationship with this idiot of a tenant is because he was using my modem – unsecured network – to look at pornography on his laptop computer right in the community room where other tenants sit and watch TV and play card and board games everyday. Gross and demeaning, and idiotic. I have been told that if he was looking at child porn, which he was not thank goodness, I could have gotten in very serious trouble with the law allowing my modem to be unsecured and not having a password. I have, since then, got help getting a password on my modem and only CSE and I know what my password is now. The idiotic tenant, troublemaker as he is still to this very day around here, DOES NOT have access to my modem anymore. He got really pissed off at me for it and demanded his damn money back but I did not give him back his money because i had learned of the months he has used my internet access in the community room without my knowing it and been watching pornography. I had every right to keep his damn money the last few days of using my internet when I did not have a password on my modem. What a big jerk he was – still is to me if I ever see him in person. He is one ugly idiot standing tall and mean over the shortest person around him. Yes, the idiot is taller than me and hovers over me like a mean old man even though he is only a few years older than me. Okay, let’s get back on the subject at hand now, thanks, lololol. Anyway, CSE called me this evening around 830 pm to let me know she was going to come down and pay for the use of the internet upstairs at her place when it works for her, see me for a few minutes. I did tell her how I felt about her not coming down at 8 pm as planned on Sunday and she told me why and that she did try coming down Sunday evening to tell me along with Monday and yesterday, but her excuse that she was having trouble with her cat Ethan was not an excuse I would consider why she did not make it Sunday night very well – lame and dumb excuse. Her damn cat is always causing trouble for her and she needs to get rid of him because he is mean and chews on things that are dangerous and I will never allow Ethan down here anymore – he is bully cat to my cat Bing and that is NOT allowed whatsoever. Anyway, CSE stayed for a few minutes and then headed back upstairs to watch a movie she had in her DVR player. I did not want her to stay long anyway. I just wanted her to make herself known to Bing and watch a couple of songs on American Idol, and see the two people who were mentoring the singers on the show tonight, I believe the female mentor was Mary J Blige but CSE did not know and I was not sure myself. Whoever it really was, I loved her hair style very much though.
Well … I am heading to my bedroom for the night now to listen to some music and then go to bed. I am going to say good night and God bless now and come back sometime tomorrow when I get up for the day and ready to spend time online before, after, or after my 9 am shower. Good night and God bless. Everyone sleep well. Whew! Yawn. Bye for now. Yay, BEDTIME! Another yawn!