Good Morning, What’s Been Going On

Good MorningI would like to, it has been a couple of days, where I have not said good morning. Today is a good morning. From last Tuesday – Monday of this week, I was not feeling very well that will be explained more in “What’s Been Going On”. I slept well Monday night as well as last night, so I am feeling better again.

What’s Been Going On

I am not sure what really happened but I do believe I took on more than I can handle because by Monday, February 27th, I had the worst anxiety and panic I have ever had in a very long time. I may have had a touch of the flu last week Tuesday for a couple of days but the days from Thursday to Monday eating was not happening as my hunger was gone causing my body to react and bring on symptoms I felt before but where not really the problem. When my body is filled with anxiety and problems, my body reacts to anxiety and panic. I was in the ER at my whits end when I thought I was constipated by the finding of that was I was not backed up. No tests were done because tests were done the morning before in Madison. I was in the ER from 330 to 530 or so that day. By the time I left my body was calming done a bit and the doctor herself came in and told me what to do when I got home and everything will work out in the end once it finally gets to where it belongs. The doctor and nurse were so good to me.

More later… I have to eat some yummy breakfast now



Now, That Was One Fine Kettle of Fish!

Oh my goodness! It has been a very rough few days for me and now I am coming out of the roughness now. I cannot explain all that happened but I can state that anxiety and panic was real bad and yesterday, I cracked – sick. I was in tears, telling my support systems that something was wrong, muscles contracted so much that it just hurt. I remembered getting sick with a bug last Tuesday evening and could not eat anything for a while. I really could not eat anything up until today to be very honest. I thought I was constipated but according to the ER doctor, I was not. Yes, I went to the ER because I was still not feeling well. Anxiety and panic took over after the bug I had last week making my body react to it to the point it drove me to the breaking point and my body was unable to relax. The doctor did not let me leave until I was calmer and things in my head was becoming more clear and my muscles began to relax on their own just being where I knew I was safe and going to be taken good care of. I was at the hospital for 2 1/2 hours and sent home to drink two nutrition drinks and take a Clonazepam for the night so I can get some sleep. I could not really sleep for a few days. I slept last night. My friend left at 3 am this morning and when I called her this morning on my way to my appointment at 11 am, I asked her what time did she leave and that I was sleeping good and knew it would be okay and if I had awakened in a panic, I would have called her. Appointment went well.

Yesterday, Good Morning, Today’s Plans


I was not feeling good yesterday so I did not get on Dear Diary or New Dear Diary at all. I did not get online much on the computer laptop either. I did not play Cafe World, Facebook, Bejeweled Blitz, or other Facebook games. I did look online on my cell phone though.

Good Morning

It’s Friday. I had company last night from 7 pm to 12 midnight. I did not sleep well the past couple of days so last night was the first night I finally felt tired and sleepy and did not like the idea of being totally alone all night so I asked CSE if she could do me favor by coming down and she had no problem with it even though she was at my place from after supper hour to 7 am yesterday morning – staying up all night long with me while I napped off and on after coming home from the ER because I was not feeling good and needed to get checked out.

Today’s Plans

I do not going shopping at Wal-Mart today. JP is coming over this morning and we are making plans for the next shopping spree I have in mind … things I want to get. KB will be at 730 pm tonight to help with my shower.


No Job To Go To This Spring

My, now former boss, came over today to deliver my silver walker back to me because it was at the workplace still. He told me that the business I was working for no longer exists because the partnership he had was dissolved. I saw this coming in October when I emailed him and he emailed me back that he will know more by November but at the time he said that I still had a job at the time. I found out today that I no longer have a job. I was not surprised because I knew that this was coming once he told me that the partnership was being dissolved, I had that feeling that the job he hired me to do would no longer exist not because of the fact that I was going to be fired or let go, but his portion of the business would no longer exist. His partner, a fine woman she is at doing fundraisers and teacher (retired) just does not have a “business” sense. She still has her side of the business – what she does – but I have a feeling that she will/could run into some problems. I am okay with not having a job to go this Spring. My “boss” had to do what he had to do. His partner wanted to dissolve the partnership.

Good Afternoon, My Walk Regimen Today, Thoughts Up To The Moment, My Day So Far

Good Afternoon

I just wanted to say good afternoon to all my Dear Diary and New Dear Diary friends and readers. I hope everyone is having a good afternoon. I am doing fine here.

My Walk Regimen Today

I did my walk regimen after watching my 1 am episode of “Mission Impossible” and when I left my apartment, my goal was to walk my end of the building twice and the other end of the building twice, and it was done. The only thing that was changed for my walk today was that I had asked CSE to join me. She was in the lobby when I came out of my apartment. We walked my regimen together this afternoon.

Thoughts Up To The Moment

JP and J came and cleaned the bathroom, swept and mopped the kitchen and bathroom floor, and got a load of laundry done. JP went to the nearest bank to get $10 worth of quarters for the laundry because I did not have enough. From March on I am going to get $20 worth of quarters. Having to do a load of laundry costs $1.25 and to dry a load of laundry costs another $1.25 so $10 does not always go very far when I have 2 to 3 loads to do at once. I had only one load today. After the laundry was done, everything was done, and JP and J left for the week. I had my shower from 9 to 930 am this morning but RK helped with the dishes, cleaned the shower area of the bathroom, and helped clean the little mess on my desk. RK is not going to be here tomorrow at all. KB will be here between 6 pm and 7 pm tomorrow night. Rescare understood that I did not want to miss my shower unless it could not be helped. My morning shower is just postponed until tomorrow early evening. I have watched some recorded TV shows, my wireless portion of the internet went down for a few minutes, and now I am back up and running again. I was not worried but I got frustrated for a moment because I was in the middle of something when the internet went down for a moment. All good for now. I am watching Anderson on CBS.

My Day So Far

All is fine.

Hello & Good Morning, Tuesdays, Long Time No See…, Later

Hello & Good Morning!

Hello and good morning everyone! I hope everyone has a very good day. I just wanted to say hello this morning. I did not sleep the best last night but I do have to say that I did get some sleep. I had a visitor last night.


It’s that day again, cleaning and laundry day! JP (who will be JE this summer because she is getting married again) and J will be here to clean and do laundry with me this morning at 8 am CST. I was not going to come to Dear Diary and New Dear Diary until after my 9 – 1015 shower but I wanted to give myself a little bit of me time before it got busy at 8 am to 1015 am. I think all is good. Not sure yet because I just woke up a few minutes before 7 am.

Long Time No See…

I had a little visitor last night from 7 pm – 1030 pm last night. I was able to see my long time friend – college days – WBG who came to Janesville with her husband who had to go to his grandma’s funeral yesterday but WBG could not go – major anxiety had hit her. She had called me around 430 pm last night and we chatted until 630ish until I asked her “why not come over here for a while, you can see me after all?” We got to see each other after all and it may have been without her husband BG but that’s okay. So I got to see a long time friend! WBG and I met each other during our Blackhawk Technical College days when I was in my early 20’s – young and still immature. I have failed a couple of classes at that time because all I cared was being with my friends and playing euchre all the time! I did not get serious about college until I attended Blackhawk Tech again about 10 years later and had troubles with Accounting I because of the way it was being taught, and withdrew from class twice, and then attending University of Phoenix from 2008 through 2011 to get my BA and MSA there and FINALLY getting through the core classes. I am now an accountant but have to find a job in the field yet but jobs in the field here in Janesville, Wisconsin are harder to find.


I will be back later. Company will be here in 25 minutes. Have a great day everyone. God bless! Man, after seeing WBG last night, I am very happy.

I Do Not Have Control Of Some Things…

I am only human and I love being on Facebook and share Bible verses on my Facebook page everyday or almost everyday. I had found a few Bible verses for today from Biblica On Demand pamphlet I received in the mail over the weekend. I decided to share the Bible verses I found worthwhile and meaningful to me, and all of a sudden I got a text from JSL telling me to slow down on my posts because her phone was blowing up… Okay, I do not have Facebook SMS coming into my phone just for the purpose I do not want to be bombarded from such. I will go online on my iPod, cell phone, and computers before I have SMS sending me texts to let me know who posted. I understand why people have SMS on their cell phone but honestly, I have no control of how texts come and go on other phones outside my own. I have chose not to answer her text because she is being a royal pain un the butt right now – must be PMSing, lol – badly I think. IF JSL gets bombarded with SMS on her phone with Facebook, then why in the world does she have it set up like that then? I told her several days ago – two weeks ago or so now – that we have no control when it comes to posting and commenting on Facebook because we do not know when someone is going to post something. Honestly, JSL has an issue with me ALL the time and it needs to stop. She seems to be a fault finder and tells you so!!! It has to stop! Do I have to walk away from her too, delete her from my friends’ list and block her? I do not want to do neither. 

Good Morning, Time For Self, It’s Definitely Official Now, Walking Regimen Resumes Today, My Day

Good Morning

Had awakened at 530 am but officially began my day at 7 am. Watched the news for a few minutes but as soon as the politics started, I turned to something different on TV.

Time For Self

I have decided not to get online when I first awakened just in case I dosed back off by 7 am. I had my alarm set for 7 am this morning instead of 830 am. I have plans WWF, Scrabble, and Hanging With Friends (HWF) on my cell phone, played Pet Hotel and Holiday Hotel on my iPod Touch, and now I am sitting here waiting for 8 am to have my shower and YE will be here to help me out. I did not allow myself a lot of time to write this morning right away but I will have time to write more later in the day after 130 pm or so. I just gave more time for self that did not include a lot of writing time this morning. a half an hour does go by rather quickly sometimes but today it seems to go kind of slow for me – til YE comes.

I have put EE for the name of the person who has been coming over on Monday mornings and last Monday I found out that I was putting the wrong initials for YE so I have corrected the initials this week.

It’s Definitely Official Now

No I am not engaged. I am not planning marriage. I do not have a gentleman in my life right now anyway. I do not have time for gentlemen callers at this time except for a friendship relationship. I have a few gentleman friends of the straight and gay nature. As of Friday, when talking to S at Rescare to find out about who is going to take care of my showering for Wednesday, February 22nd after I get back from my 11 am appointment or see if it will need to cancelled altogether that day, DB is not coming back here at all. They do not even know yet if she will return back to Rescare or not because of the way she has been acting about communicating with her scheduler and business officials. Will she get fired? That I do not know or care to know. I am just glad it is official that she IS NOT coming back here. She has become one strange person – someone I trusted and learned trust can be broken in a flash. Now I know the company rules about friendships with the workers of Rescare and visa versa. The rules are strange to me as companies should care less about what workers do outside their jobs but some companies have strict rules in place for reason. I know now why it is important – I got hurt and hurt badly enough that it raised the anxiety and panic inside me and fear of her coming back here.

Walking Regimen Resumes Today

I slacked this weekend and did not walk at all. I was too tired to leave my apartment and face the tenants who were coming and going in and out of the building. I thought I heard a familiar laugh out in the lobby and I did not really care to go out there and see if that familiar laugh was to the person I thought it belonged to. Why bother with people once they move out of here when they say they will keep in touch with you and do not bother to do so whatsoever – lies and more lies of friendships gone awry without even knowing what the problem is.

My Day

Shower at 8 am with help from YE, company coming at 1230 pm – 1 pm for a while, and then of course my walk regimen will be fit into the schedule today. Monday is my Sunday most of the time but today is actually a Monday for once, lol. I have company this morning from 8 to 915 am, then I have a visitor coming at 1230 – 1 pm, the rest of the day is all mine and Bing’s. I am going to watch some recorded TV programming on my DVR box, take a peek at my finances and make sure Quicken and my Excel document is up-to-date, play WWF, HWF, Scrabble, and other games on my phone, do some reading of Little Women, and of course, I have to do my walking regimen this morning. I think I am going to walk my end only and do so 4 times instead of twice. I do not want to go down to the other end for personal reasons – not disclosing why. Today is a Monday for once.

February 18, 2012 — No Walk Regimen Today — Oops, My Saturday At Home, Another Day Has Escaped Me!

No Walk Regimen Today — Oops

I did not do my walk regimen today — oops! It is not that I did not want to or anything – unable to get out today is all. My legs acted like jelly today for some reason and I was very tired and sleepy. The only company I had wanted this weekend is my shower gal KB. My walk regimen will resume on Monday for sure — maybe tomorrow.

My Saturday At Home

I pretty much stayed in my apartment all day, away from other tenants. I did not want to see anyone, other than my shower gal KB. I played Cafe World on Facebook, a couple of rounds of Farkle, watched a little bit of Live TV and recorded TV, and watched some very special videos on GodTube and Godvine today but I had turned off the TV for a while – TV off? Very seldom is my TV off, lol. I am going to have a good day no matter what this Saturday brings.

Another Day Has Escaped Me!

I feel another day escaped me! I have had my early evening shower, KB has left for the day and weekend, and bed is looming in the near future as far as time is concerned. It is going on 10 pm here right now! Time has escaped me ALL day! I almost forgot to write here today. EEEK!

Walking Through Wal-Mart Today, Dear Diary is Still Slow, My Afternoon

Walking Through Wal-Mart Today

I told my worker who takes me grocery shopping, JP that I was going to do some walking through Wal-Mart today and I was going to use my walker. No arguments there. I walked through Wal-Mart this morning for the entirety of the grocery shopping and got home with legs that felt the workout but worth every step of the way. Groceries were put away, I went to see the manager of the building, and then I took time for me. I walked a lot today.

Dear Diary is Still Slow

I am not sure why Dear Diary is slow but at this end of the line, Dear Diary seems to be slow in processing the submit button – goes through thankfully. It just seems slower the past couple of days. Are other diarists experiencing this? Please let me know. Thanks! It is no big deal or anything. I just have noticed. that’s all.

My Afternoon

I do not have my shower until 730 pm tonight so I have been taking my afternoon here in stride and doing whatever. Since I already had my walk today at Wal-Mart, I will resume my walk regimen tomorrow late morning/early afternoon when I get my mail. Bing is doing his most favorite thing cats do – catnap in the bedroom or on my powerchair and I am online doing my thing. I had lunch and watch some recorded TV programs this afternoon and now, seriously, my TV is off so I can watch some GodTube and Godvine videos on the computer/laptop here. I am planning on watching some more TV in a bit. I feel awake and I have so vigor to finish my afternoon with writing, reading, and playing games on computer, cell, and iPod.