Appointment Went Well

My counseling appointment with SW and MM went well this afternoon. I was glad to get back home all the same though. The weather is gorgeous outdoors today and the breeze was just awesome. I did not wear my jacket until my ride back home from my appointment – that is how nice it was outdoors today. About 50 degrees out this January 10th sort of day. We are having one odd winter this year – memory of the winter imprinted on my mind as of now. I am beginning to wonder how this weather could be this way right now when it January we have had some snowstorms and real cold weather by now – can not really complain but the germs need to freeze sooner or later because many people are getting sick real fast around here and I had gotten some kind of virus between Christmas and New Years myself I can not forget from my mind now either – another imprint that just won’t leave me for good. AARRGG! My last hospital stay – start of the new year for me was something I could not help but I could not ignore my achy stomach and body any longer. I am glad that the doctors fixed me up so I can definitely enjoy the beginning of the year – late but enjoy it. I want to enjoy my weekends more now too. I hate getting sick all the time. I am definitely straying off the original subject this late in the day, lol. Anyway…

My appointment went well. I really enjoy SW very much. She is a very good counselor – recommended by PS before she retired and left Genesis Counseling Services for good. We talked about my relationships with NMS and CSE today – did not want to at my end but did so anyway. I still feel my trust towards CSE is still broken and needs to be repaired or the friendship needs to dissolve. My feelings towards CSE living here still stands strong – a mistake having her back here. CSE has changed so much that her new, disordered life is very strange and yet a mystery to me and NMS. NMS even blamed me and CSE for our actions putting her in the hospital and making her heart race so fast and out of control. I am not at all very happy about that at all. I am actually disgusted with NMS for saying such a rude thing as that – mental illness runs in her family. I can now fully understand why her daughter Shannon does not have any communication with NMS whatsoever. Illness runs in that family big time. Do I feel sorry for NMS? Yes and no. Yes that mental illness runs in her family and no because she brought on several of her health problems onto herself and she needn’t focus blame on others that she supposedly loves dearly. NMS loves me – my foot! The blame game has happened all over again. Damn NMS! That is what we focused on in today’s session. I hate it when NMS plays her blame card on people. As of last night, NMS is in Cedar Crest Nursing home now where I believe she belongs and should live there! She shouldn’t be living alone anymore. Damn blame game is not going to work anymore.

Getting Tired Now

It is time for me to say good night and God bless for now. I am going to bed early tonight and I will be back sometime when things are cooled down. Good night and God bless.

More of This Morning

I have had my shower, I am dressed for the day and ready for my appointment this afternoon. KP is here helping me clean and do laundry today because JP could not make it today – sick with fever. I am doing okay this morning – feeling semi-busy and not busy enough, lol. KP went to get quarters for me with the ten dollars I got from the Beloit bank on the 3rd of January and yet did not get quarters because I was admitted into the hospital that afternoon with low potassium levels, a little anemic, and dehydrated – memory of my ER visit Friday, December 30th still looms unforgettable in my mind and the doctor who took care of me really pissed me off that morning – early afternoon. Knowing what was wrong with me on the 3rd helped me a great deal and my anxiety and panic had passed by then and I was doing okay – knowing that I was not ill from having a panic attack but ill from a virus of some sort. We still have not had any snow yet to freeze the germs that come during the winter season. We have been having 40 degree weather here in Wisconsin and we had no snow for Christmas. AARRGG! I do want to see snow soon but not the hard, cold, freezing snow that turns into ice and eventually stops everyone from going out and driving. Even though I do not like snow very much, I do find it pretty at times when its snowing and falling from the sky. Anyway… my day is good so far – not really started until 9 am when I got showered and cleaned up for the day.

More later