I Seriously Thought …

I hate it when I am talking to someone when their phone is interrupted with another call coming in. I have call waiting as well but every time I have another call come in, I check who is calling and depending on who it is, I let it go. The only time I do not let it go is if the doctor’s office is calling or a family member. Tonight, forgetting that NMS gets a call from a friend of ours at 6 pm almost every night, I called her back to finish our call. Anyway…

Is NMS trying to cover for CSE’s actions?? Another Anyway…

We were discussing CSE’s problems and I thought, before the phone call coming into NMS’s end of our conversation that our discussion was heading towards a disagreement. Before calling NMS back, I thought:

We have the right to agree to disagree…

but NMS does understand how I was feeling, yet again, and knew where I was heading, and we did not have a misunderstanding in our discussion at all. NMS is still working on getting hold of CSE’s doctor to help her.

It Feels Later Than 3 PM!

Not knowing why exactly but it feels later than 311 pm here in good ol’ Wisconsin right this second. When I look at the time it is still early afternoon yet here but it feels later than that fir some odd reason. Can it be because of the time zone change or I am not busy enough – lately? I think it is both – time zone change and I am not busy enough. I have too much time to think about this and that… LOL, my life is too easy these days.

Now I Can Say…

I have seen ALL of the movies of the Harry Potter series. Justfinished watching it and have about 42 hrs left to re-watch the movie again. Woo hoo! Anyway…

Movie was good and to be very honest, I personally thought the books were much better but then we have to be careful with copyright laws and JK Rowling was there during the filming of the movie and got to know the actors/actresses who portrayed HP, HG, RW, NL, and the profressors and friends of the series. It was a very good movie all the same. I enjoyed it greatly with pleasure of being able to see the series in motion picture films. Now I am going to watch Slumdog Millionaire – a free movie on Charter Communications On Demand that has also had acclaimed reviews. Will see what the fuss is about with Slumdog Millionaire now too. I am not sure at the moment yet but will see if it’s a waste of my time soon – no waste of money on this movie in case it’s not worth it today. I enjoyed Harry Potter 7.2 and it WAS worth $4.99 at the rate movies cost now-a-days with the cost of junk food on top of a movie now-a-days — expensive but worth it once in a while with a good friend or family member. I go to a movie twice a year or just wait for the movie to come out on Charter Communications On Demand or rent it for $2 from Family Video down the street. I have seen the Harry Potter movies on Live TV several times now as well and in Dec. 4th, The Half Bkood Prince will be aired on Channel 53 – Family that night. Woo hoo!!!

More later — I know I have shared a lot again today. I am just in the need/want to write lately. Venting is very good and I feel good/ok afterwards. Slumdog Millionaire is ok so far I see.

Later…

Harry Potter 7.2 Is Finally On On Demand!!

This morning about 645 am or so this morning, after a nap, I took my chances on seeing if Harry Potter was on Charter Communications On Demand and lo and behold it was there. I realized after the 11th of November it might be on the movies section of our cable network. Even though DB will be here at 8 am to help with my showers, I will watch the rest after my shower. I have read the entire Harry Potter series and can say, after today, I have seen ALL the movies as well. YES! Yay! Yippee! My Harry Potter collection will be complete as of today. No, I do not have the movies. No need for them since I have the series in writing by JK Rowling. Who could ask for more? I reAlly can’t ask for more now. I have other things to get that are more important at this time such as a new cell phone — the one I have now is pretty much lost its umpff and I am going to a better phone that will have all of my songs from ITunes as well as the games I live to play most of all. My IPod Touch is 4yrs old!! I love my IPod but it is getting old too. In fact I am totally surprised it still works because I have dropped the darn thing many times and last month I thought it did break from a fall but the USB connection was the problem and I had a 2nd one available to use for the time being. Anyway…

DB will be here in 15 minutes.

More later…

Entry #2 — My World At the Moment

My world at the moment is I am watching an episode of Two and Half Men that was recorded on Monday, November 14th, the other day, because I wanted to see what it was like with Kutcher on the show. I knew that Charlie Sheen was not going to be on at this time this season but I sure do miss him now. I still can not really get back to sleep. It is going to be a long day and maybe a long rest of the week unless I get some more sleep before Friday. Not worried really but I am feeling different emotionally … pissed and not sure what is going on in my head – confused, scared, and in my world. lost in a place where I wish that one particular person would just stop being the way she is – strange and thinking that she has to erase her past life and be mean about it. Sick!!! Here I am seeing changes in this person and now I come to find out that she is being mean to another friend of mine/hers that even scares me more than ever. Scary and unsure what is really happening. I was sure, totally, that what I was seeing was not being seen by others was ever going to happen. CSE has really shown a side of her that is a someone to stay away from. I hope she does get help but being friends with her ever again will not happen again. I have washed my hands of her for good. She is a nasty piece of work!!

I CANNOT understand why I am so angry and pissed, frustrated, hurt, and wishing CSE did not ever exist. I hate her and the person she has become – strange and weird and someone people fear. Yes, I fear CSE more now than I ever was before two weeks ago. I will not have her here anymore, call her, or will I ask for help from her anymore. I can not understand why I hate her so much more than before – before yesterday – and I began to really hate CSE over a month ago before NMS even told me she understood where I was coming from and how I have been feeling. AARGG!! See… I am confused!!!

Entry #1 — Feeling the After Affects!!!!!

I enjoyed the visit with NMS last night and the news about CSE has been a start of something good — I hope anyway — but right now at 2am after running to the bathroom I can not get back to sleep real fast here so I am watching Cops on the CW and have watched an episode of Swift Justice with Jackie Glass. Nope, I can not sleep. This crap that is going on with CSE has really upset the big apple cart with both NMS and me. I am so frustrated with CSE that my feelings with my own self don’t feel entirely my own now — all against CSE now. Anytime anything is mentioned about CSE now poses a problem around here. No doubt CSE needs medical help and stop being such an idiot about things. NMS has asked me not to mention anything to CSE about what she is trying to do for CSE so I will not say anything to her. I am pissed off at CSE anyway — more now that she screamed at NMS. CSE is definitely not welcome in my home now. She is trouble brewing and since the night of the cooking class I went to with NMS was the last happier time. I hav not called CSE ever since that evening and glad of it — good riddance of a bad situation I could have been in with her in the past now since NMS and I talked last night. I feel, even though it’s important and that is what God wants me to do, praying for CSE is a lost cause and something I find a waste of my time because CSE does not show any effort of anything that will improve her health that I have seen. When I had learned that CSE acted strange in front of NMS, after being told this, i wanted to scream and cry and I believe I am doing that in a silent way … I am more hurt, lost, and confused, and wishing now that CSE never moved back into this building. Hearing her yelling at her cat that Sunday evening whenNms and I saw her, I was frightened that she will come down to my place and act out against my cat. No abuse is not allowed in my home whatsoever … never!! CSE is abusive verbally. No way in hell is that woman ever allowed in my home ever again now after last night. She does not exist or will she be acknowledged unless NMS gives me updates. She is dead to me.

As for my BFF who now lives in Milton, Wisconsin, JSL is dealing with a situation with a friend of hers that is acting strange and being mean and nasty after a long time friendship for years, I feel for JSL. CSE does not have any sympathy at all and I feel she owes an apology that is long overdue to me as well that I have not received yet. I know now I will not receive it any time soon — never actually. I am sick of CSE and want to wash my hands of her for good. I want her out of this building too. She does not belong here at all. She belongs in a group home where she is monitored. NMS believes she is denial and not taking medication or is not on any meds for her problem that is now on showing and getting worse. Denial is what I see and wish CSE would stop acting that her past life does not exist. I no longer feel sorry for the bitch. JSL asked me last night before we said our good nights if CSE did get the help she needs would I strike a friendship with CSE again — not exact words from JSL – and I said no because too much has happened that CSE has scared me badly enough. For JSL, her situation different from my own, does seem to have similar endings but JSL is still kind of deciding on what to do. I feel for JSL big tome. Her friend seems to be influenced by the wrong crowd and treating JSL like crap big time and JSL is deeply hurt and confused big time along the way. She has asked me to pray for her situation as she also prays for my situation. We are watching out for one another these days. Still I will not be friends with CSE anymore whatsoever and she is dead to me. I hate the person she has become — scary and mean – damaged big time. She is indeed ill and NMS sees what I have been seeing for a very long time now — months.

More later…..