Prayer On the Mind

NMS dropped by to get The Farmer Boy book from ne to read tonight since I was not yet reading the book – by the weekend though – and she told me that she was on a mission to get CSE some medical help for her … YES!! … I am sick ANC tired of CSE’s outbursts and emotional ups and downs. I saw CSE for a few seconds this morning during the fire drill we had but no one really took part in it – I forgot until I heard the fire drill go off – oops – but got out into the lobby where a few of us showed up. I was not too happy to have seen a small glimpse of CSE today either. I almost felt sick enough that I wanted to throw up on her. She has really disappointed me lately. She has disappointed a lot since we reconnected in January 2011. I still regret reconnecting with her as well – I know I am mean about this. Anyway…

After hearing that CSE snapped and got weird on NMS – characteristic of CSE that scares me so much!!! – I was not thrilled. CSE NEEDS HELP BIG TIME!!!! I hope our prayers will be answered real soon!! I told NMS that CSE’s actions have gotten to the point of me not wanting anything to With CSE more and more. I also told NMS that I have not talked to CSE ever since we both saw her after the two of us got back from the cooking class. CSE’s world is a strange one!! I don’t want any part of it. Now NMS and I both see what CSE is doing now for sure and that is why NMS is working in getting CSE help

Before Long …

I need to write some thoughts before I forget and it needs to be done so today. Shower was taken, laundry was done, vacuumed the living room and bedroom carpets, and now am dressed for the day and have company over between 12 and 1 this afternoon then I have the rest of the day to myself. We had a fire drill this morning after 10 am and only 5 tenants attended the fire drill and there where about 3 other tenants outside yaking away — one of them being CSE and her uncontrollable cat. I did not say hello to her when she came into the building nor did I really want to see her. As I was heading to the office to talk to the manager for a minute and sign a couple of recall petitions the manager had, I saw CSE and I practically got digusted as I am still pissed at her for the male cat comment outside male cats liking girl cats — male cats being unfriendly and mean is what I mad about. Really pissed about actually. I won’t let her down on that comment for a very long time. I have not invited her down to my place for a long time now – 2 weeks – and I did not call her for a long time either. I have emailed her once a couple of weeks ago or so now. Not having her here has been a great pleasure for me. I just want her out of my life entirely but that is not going to happen as long as she lives here and NMS helps her out from time to tine. CSE has been acting more strange than ever before I just don’t get her anymore. I am GLAD she has not called me. I deleted and blocked her from Facebook and I think it is possible she got the message I don’t want her in my world anymore. If NMS helps her out and talks to CSE, though. I can not control anyone but myself. NMS came down Saturday right when I was heading into the shower to go for a ride with her and CSE but I didn’t. I did not want to see CSE anyway!! I was glad my shower gal was there. That was a save for me. Yes!!

Where in the world am I going with this?? Gee!!! Oh well…

Done venting!!! for now. Going to watch some TV.

Later….