Still Up & Awake

I am not having trouble getting to sleep much but here I am still awake. I must have gotten my second wind about 1030 am. I am watching Perry.Mason right now. I have always like that show and the movies that were on TV. I watched Perry Mason with my dad a lot of the time. What’s on TV now-a-days just blows my mind and I do have my favorite programs to watch — a routine per se.

More Thought

I do have to admit that today’s quietness with no one around after DB left at 915 am was fantastic. I am looking forward to another quiet day tomorrow after DB leaves after my Thursday morning shower. i do have to admit that i am in relaxation mode and dopey feeling but I am going to wait until after 8 pm to shut all the lights off and relax for the night in my recliner. All I did today was watch Live and recorded TV, read a little bit – a few pages of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows. Yes, I am rereading the story – 7th book – again after watching the 2nd part of the movie series just to read it again. I am in chapter 5: Fallen Warrior a page or two. I am feeling better – as of today – down below – that reading has been happily recommenced once again – reading while waiting for my rides while at appointments has been done but I believe it was done so forcibly while I was not feeling the greatest the past three or so weeks. Having my monthly last week did not help matters emotionally nor did it complicate things too much. Today I am finding myself yet a little weepy but doing okay for the time being.

I have no idea what will be as far as December is concerned. I cannot believe it to this day – last day of November that is – that 2011 has one more month left before 2012 comes into play. I do know that my doctor Dr. H is leaving to work elsewhere out of the city, my now former counselor PS is retiring, and Christmas and New Years is on its way for the upcoming weeks. I will not see Dr. H anymore as seeing her one last time will upset the apple cart of my world. I just can not do it. I do not feel comfortable saying good bye. I will call once a week until further notice that Dr. H is no longer at Mercy Mall Clinic…

I am having a fairly good day. Like I said earlier, I still feel a bit emotional – not sure if I am dealing with some depression or just feeling the after affects of being frustrated and the Thanksgiving Day holiday ruin. I was telling MM the other day that I wish I was with my parents – in NM or AR – for the holidays. It stinks to celebrate the holidays with certain people like I did last Thursday.

More later…