Good Night

I am heading to bed now. It is 10 pm and I am truly tired and ready to go bed. I believe the fresh air, getting colder because it is soon to be winter now, has really helped me get tired – like yesterday’s dealing with fresh air. I did not go grocery shopping today because by the time JP, my Tuesday and Friday IDS worker was able to see me for the day, it was way too close to the time I had to get ready for my day to go to my med check appointment, and I was having a little bit of trouble getting the energy I needed and wanted to get myself going this morning. With my UTI on the med and being a woman having my monthly right now is what has pretty much done it along with the fact that when I have anxiety sleep is very hard to find and it can be two nights without sleep before I crash big time like I did last night. I am not sure yet if I will see CSE at all this weekend in passing this weekend or not. We shall see. We do not have hatred toward one another and we are getting past the hurt – I think – okay. So here I am, with one final entry for the day and evening, here to say good night, God bless, and will be back sometime tomorrow. I have no major plans this weekend except relaxation, reading, watching TV, being online, and having my Saturday shower, and getting back into the swing of things on Monday morning at 8 am.

More later… Good bye for now but not forever.

My Day

What can I say about my day? Hmmmm? I can say that I am feeling better now that I am on an antibiotic for my UTI that was finally founded on Monday while at the ER. I knew that something was not right down below there when it became uncomfortable and my bladder was acting a bit odd to me. Dr. H was not in the office on Monday so I could not go there but I did have an order for a renal panel blood test to be done Tuesday morning but I was so uncomfortable down below that I was screaming inside and the anxiety and pulse in me was very high. The antibiotic Dr. K put me on Monday night before I was discharged – not dehydrated and having to stay the night/be admitted thankfully – is working/has been working but now I can feel it working for sure. Dr. K put me on the right antibiotic without having to find out it was not the right drug my urine would be resistant to. In the past few weeks of my world I have learned a lot about how antibiotics work on UTI’s – resistant or susceptible to the urine – R meaning it will not work and S that the antibiotic will take care of the infection. From what I understand, my UTI is not a bad one. Dr. K and Dr. H and her nurses L and L take good care of me. Anyway, my med check appointment went well as well. We talked about how things have been going with me and what has been going on in my world – the panic attacks I had two weeks ago have also been mentioned. I had taken the book, The Long Winter with me to read until it was time for my appointment and while I waited for my ride to and from appointment as well. Getting back home took a little longer than my ride and I expected but I got home before 430 pm. I was even able to get in touch with Dr. Hussli’s nurse L before the office closed for the weekend. After getting home, finally lol, I do have to admit that I did not do much for awhile except watch some TV and play games on Facebook, and relax until my shower gal KB came at 730 – 845 pm. After KB left for the day, I read for a while and watched some more recorded TV and bed time is heading soon. I think the fresh air I had today has helped once again – yesterday too – and so I will be going to bed at 10 pm tonight.

Another Time

I have been thinking of Laura Ignalls Wilder (LIW) and the time period she lived with her Ma and Pa Ingalls, Almanzo Wilder (even though I have not read past The Long Winter yet), the life that Mary Ingalls lived being blind, and Laura’s other two sisters. I do know that the Ingalls family did have a boy as well but he lived only a short few months but at this time have not been mentioned in LIW’s Little House series and I believe he is not even mentioned at all actually. There was a boy born into the family as well, though. I did some research on Caroline Ingalls and found that out – was TV series chapter years ago about a baby boy who did not live for very long and how LIW (played by Melissa Gilbert) took to the death of her brother – story of her going to the mountains where her Pa Ingalls found her with Mr. Isaiah Edwards a few days later and LIW was taken care of by an angel who was played by Ernest Borgnine (sp??). Anyway… The timetal LIW, the author who really lived and the TV series was supposed to be about, has been thought about long and hard for the past few hours. I went to my counseling appointment this afternoon – med check appointment with HL and MM (IDS caseworker) and talked to her about how I wish I could spend a week or so in LIW’s time and that I could live without television, a computer, and other accessories that we now have that LIW and her family did not have for a very long time such as a car, indoor bathrooms, electricity, and a few other things. I even told HL and MM that I would love to live with an Amish family for a few days to see how they live and work in their community and get away from TV, computers, and electricity for a while. I could live without my cell phone for a while too to be very honest here. I do wish I could experience the 1800 – 1950 with LIW without reading her words in a book but that is the only way I will be able to escape to another time ssand place. Anyway time, which is true, I read a story, I do find myself in the story as one of the characters depends on how I am feeling and what mood I am. Sometimes I feel I am playing Mary Ingalls character or Carrie’s, or even Grace’s. I am always on of the Ingalls children, too, in the LIW series at this time through what I have read.

As for today, technology, it is all good, helpful, useful, and technology will continue to progress and grow whether we want it or not. I find the use of a phone wonderful, computers are good, TV is progressing as far as how they have been made as well as what is shown on TV. Honestly, so much on TV has changed so since the 1950s when the 1st TV was created and put in homes. I can not really express my like for the shows of the 60s and 70s VS the TV shows that are shown today. There are no limits anymore as far as swearing, morale, and sex on TV! Oh my gosh, they do not have any sensors on sex anymore these days! AARRGG!! Back in the Dick Van Dyke and I Love Lucy days, the couples slept in twin beds and not double beds. Now that has drastically changed as time passed. With me, maybe sounding a little odd but do not care, I do not like sleeping in the same bed with another person who is either male or female – I would not sleep in the double bed with my mom one weekend when we visited her cousin DK and her husband up north while we were there for a family gathering in Saxeville, Wisconsin. My mom understood but I am not sure if I hurt her feelings or not. I think she wanted to stay up a little later and talk for a bit. Oops!! That is why I watch Law & Order series, Crime/Law movies, some cartoons such as Scooby Doo and The Flinstones (I do watch some comedy I guess, lol), and TV shows such as Judge Judy, Swift Justice with Jackie Glass, other Law & Order TV series (seen them all except Trial By Jury), and other TV shows of that genre. I am very picky with what I watch or allow others to watch on TV in my own home. I do like some reality shows but not all of them. I am not even following the Kadashians (sp??) at all. I only live on social security at this time so my feelings about watching real rich people on TV with family, drug, and problems does not please me at all. I watch soaps from time to time but not everyday – that is why I am falling far behind in getting my TV recordings watched now-a-days – these days. I have my own emotional and physical problems and I will admit that I go see a and take meds for my anxiety and depression disorder and say how my appointment went and what was talked about, but it does not happen all the time – I don’t think anyway… My life, what I don’t share with others is not anyone’s business. I am a semi-private person become more private as I get older and experience more of my world. I rarely go to the community room now to play cards with my neighbor BB, HC, and a few others. What goes on with other tenants here in the building is not my business either so I stay to myself. Even that said, playing Gin with my neighbors is fun when I am in the mood to communicate with others outside my apartment. That is why I want to live with an Amish family for a while or escape to LIW’s life in her stories, and get back the morale of today’s corrupted world. So much has changed!!!

Laura Ingalls Wilder Fan big Time

I am a Laura Ignalls Wilder fan big time. I have read Little House on the Prairie. On the Banks of Plum Creek, and By the Shore of Silver Lake, and now I am reading The Long Winter – almost finished with it and will then read Little Town on the Prairie, These Golden Years, and then I will read The First Four Years , and then Farmer Boy. I am reading Farmer Boy last because I have chosen to do so. It is about LIW’s husband and Almanzo and his brother Royal when they were younger and boys themselves. Farmer Boy is the 3rd book of the series but I am saving it for the last book. Anyway… I am enjoying the book very much and I do have to admit that I have only read the first 3 books of the series when I was younger – gifts from my dad and his wife for Christmas but not the series for some reason. Now I am taking the time to read the series as an adult. Like I said I am enjoying the series and now I have a glimpse of her life and world in the 1800s of the real LIW. It is definitely different from the Little House on the Prairie TV series from the 1970s – 1980s, and the movies that followed. I still love the Little House TV series though. Melissa Gilbert played a good LIW and Melissa Sue Anderson played a good MI, and Carolyn Grassle and Michael Landon played good at being Ma and Pa Ingalls. I just now getting to know the really LIW and love her just as much though. She is awesome! I am a big fan big time and glad I am getting a glimspe of another time way before I was born.