Yesterday was not a good day for with panic attack after panic attack that was known where it came from but the why was never founded or ever known. I have been in a frazzled state all day long today from the moment I had awakened to the moment my last of company left at 1030 or so in the evening! I went to work feeling lost and confused in my head even though I knew exactly what I was doing but yet a lot of questions came out of my mouth the entire time I was at work. I made it to my counseling appointment in the afternoon after I got done with work for the day… another day of work looming iWednesday and in hopes a better day for me from this darn frazzled state I have been in because of the after affects of panic attacks all day long yesterday. I vowed, despite how frazzled I was, I was going to make the best of the day possible. This rainy, yucky weather does have to go and give me some room to breathe and find peace again. I know, as confirmed at counseling, I am not depressed…just in a panic state of mind for some reason with questions rising in my head every direction I go right now. No fun whatsoever.
To top things of my already frazzled state of mind and confusion of my world at the moment, I happen to leave my counseling appointment and see KW, her husband JW, and their friend and neighbor KWE. Seeing them did not really help either. JW said hello to me and I said hello back to be the bigger and better person in the awkward silence I was receiving from KW reaand KWE, and the mean and nasty look I was getting from KW was not even priceless. I did not feel awkward exactly but I surely felt stunned and shocked to the point of having them in the path of my life once more and reminding me they were never going to be in my life anymore as friends and neighbors, or even people considered living in the same city as I do anymore. I never could figure out KW or her other so-called friends with the attitudes they portrayed often and remembering how hurtful they were to other people behind their backs causing so much drama. Ever since they have been in my sights again, theyand, and so-called friends are out of my life for good. They can NOT be trusted whatsoever. After seeing KW’s angry face, I remembered how angry she has always been ever since we were in high school – an unhappy young lady!!! Sometimes I do wonder if she ever was really a friend of mine or just used me for things… Oh well. have been on my mind!! AAARRRGGG!!! I will be okay, though. KW and her husband are not in my world anymore and they may be, on occasion, pass into my world but they will never stay or come into my world to stay ever again. I will always be the bigger and better person and say hello to them but that is all I can really handle with KW now-a-days.
As for the rest of my day, I am going to say good night and God bless. I have another work day coming tomorrow and I do need my rest and be in a better mind tomorrow after today’s frazzled state I was in! AARRGG!!