I am going to say good night and God bless for the night. I am up later than usual tonight and I have to be up and dressed by 9 am in the morning because I have to go grocery shopping for the week tomorrow. I am tired, yes, but I do have to also admit that I am at a loss for words right now because I need to vent more but the words are all coming out all a jumbled mess tonight. I guess I am going to go to bed and sleep on what is in need to be put into words eventually but have to wait to form the right thoughts into the right words. CSE left around 10 pm this evening leaving me to my own devices for the rest of the night and bed is soon to be found. RIght now I am watching Live TV on my TV and enjoying it very much. I am glad I have the house to myself once again. Door is locked and lights are about to be shut off. Good night and God bless.

I would like to thank the Dear Diary diarists and readers for taking the time to read my thoughts here and putting me on the map for the Top 10 list once again. I know i do a lot of bickering, bitching, and complaining, and share a part of my life that can be most private at times, but I enjoy getting what is on my mind out so I can sleep better at night. I am not always an insomniac but can be sometimes throughout the week, and I am taking my chances of putting my thoughts here in a very public place as well as on the internet where anyone can find what i write but I do love it here very much. I could not ask for more being appreciated by others. I am definitely an imperfect being today and always.

I think it was a mistake having CSE come down to stay this afternoon after helping me. She is gone now doing her thing and laundry this afternoon instead of doing her laundry from 6 pm to 8 pm. Her attitude got weird on me before she left and I just do not understand her anymore and I am done trying to understand her from this day forward. I do not know what to believe or understand with her anymore. I should have sent her home after she helped me this afternoon. I think I am going to have tomorrow to myself again but not sure yet. Anyway, while CSE was here, we began watching a movie together – still in need to finish watching it when she does return for supper. Anyway, I am confused – very confused – when it comes to CSE. She IS NOT the same person I met in 1998 when I first moved into the building and I still believe it was a mistake – a big one – becoming friends with her all over again. She is not the same person I once knew anymore. Her attitude really stinks today and I believe she really needs to get a reality check now. She needs help big time and I am definitely not the one who can help her. I have talked to NMS about CSE many times but she too is at a loss with CSE just as much as I am. She is sick and needs help and I wish she would get help for her problems but she denies it big time. Here I am getting the help I need for my problems and can not see why CSE won’t get help herself. She is really sick. I will stand firm to believe she needs professional help and one day I hope she does. She is sick and i am getting tired of seeing her so shut out and acting the way she does, I feel I have, thanks to my mistake, my day has been ruined and I can not wait for the weekend where I can seriously be free of CSE for two to three days but I am not sure about that just yet. I just wish she gets the help. Something is terribly wrong with CSE and I cannot see her like so anymore. SHE NEEDS HELP! Do I have to walk away from her for a while again? I believe I do in order to stay sane and right now I do not feel totally sane … at the moment that is anyway. AARRGG!!

I think it was a mistake having CSE come down to stay this afternoon after helping me. She is gone now doing her thing and laundry this afternoon instead of doing her laundry from 6 pm to 8 pm. Her attitude got weird on me before she left and I just do not understand her anymore and I am done trying to understand her from this day forward. I do not know what to believe or understand with her anymore. I should have sent her home after she helped me this afternoon. I think I am going to have tomorrow to myself again but not sure yet. Anyway, while CSE was here, we began watching a movie together – still in need to finish watching it when she does return for supper. Anyway, I am confused – very confused – when it comes to CSE. She IS NOT the same person I met in 1998 when I first moved into the building and I still believe it was a mistake – a big one – becoming friends with her all over again. She is not the same person I once knew anymore. Her attitude really stinks today and I believe she really needs to get a reality check now. She needs help big time and I am definitely not the one who can help her. I have talked to NMS about CSE many times but she too is at a loss with CSE just as much as I am. She is sick and needs help and I wish she would get help for her problems but she denies it big time. Here I am getting the help I need for my problems and can not see why CSE won’t get help herself. She is really sick. I will stand firm to believe she needs professional help and one day I hope she does. She is sick and i am getting tired of seeing her so shut out and acting the way she does, I feel I have, thanks to my mistake, my day has been ruined and I can not wait for the weekend where I can seriously be free of CSE for two to three days but I am not sure about that just yet. I just wish she gets the help. Something is terribly wrong with CSE and I cannot see her like so anymore. SHE NEEDS HELP! Do I have to walk away from her for a while again? I believe I do in order to stay sane and right now I do not feel totally sane … at the moment that is anyway. AARRGG!!

I wish Wells Fargo would stop calling me! I keep telling them that i can only pay so much a month because I get so much a month and they still say that if I do not make anymore payments, the money will charge off at the end of the month and I will have to pay the entire payment when I do not have the money! I am sick and tired of them sounding like they are threatening me! AARRGG!!

Just had my shower and got dressed — sort of — had Cheerios for breakfast this morning, took all of my dishes to the kitchen, and now watching an episode of CSI: Miami. I have no plans today in mind. More later.

Ahhh, another day has begun. Will have my shower shortly and the I will get dressed for the day. I have no idea what I am going to do yet since I have awakened kind of late, lol. I want to sleep in but can’t because I have my showers at 8 am every Monday through Thursday. I have no plans today so will take it easy and drink lots of water. I have to go for now though. More later.