My Day

Today was definitely a good day. However, the weather proved to be a little different than I expected. Another hot day with the heat index being over 100 degrees the past two days. I stayed indoors. Anyway…

Today was cleaning, laundry, and food prep day. I had my shower at 2 pm this afternoon. The shower girl with the same name as mine but her name ends with a Y and not an I like me, helped me with my shower today. CSE came down around 6 pm – a half an hour late of course, again – will be leaving around 930 pm or so tonight so I can go to bed and be up by 7 am before my 745 am shower and go to work. Yep, tomorrow is my first day of work and tomorrow I will have to take the time to report to Social Security I am working now or I will have my IDS worker let Social Security know for me. I do not need anymore added stress in my life.

Today…I had almost fell into the anxiety trap! Anxiety tried to play its nasty game with me while I was talking to a friend on the phone. My heart began to beat real fast. Right now, recovering from my latest anxiety attack – that is why I am playing catch up on Dear Diary once again – anything can set me off into another anxiety attack real easy right now. I was able to stop my heart from racing and beating super duper fast by doing a deep breathing exercise. After CSE leaves tonight, I am going to do my meditation exercise and go to bed for the night.



1. Cleaning
2. Laundry
3. Shower
4. Company over from 6 pm – 930ish pm
5. Meditation & bed time.


1. Shower at 745 – 9 am
2. Work ?? – ??
3. Relaxation
4. Writing & Facebook
5. TV
6. Bed

Good Night

Good night and God bless.

Anxiety Is No Fun

I do have to admit that anxiety is no fun. The past 4 to 6 weeks this time around anxiety has played a major role in my life – my world – and it was awful. I finally got relief from anxiety over the weekend after seeing a doctor who put me on a regimen of deep breathing and meditation exercises. They work. The anxiety I experienced this time around is physical and emotional pain – pain in the most unusual places this time around. It was awful. I thought I had an UTI but didn’t. The physical pain down there was awful and it would not go away even on medication. Finally, on Friday, seeing a doctor at Dr. H’s office had me do some deep breathing and meditation exercises and things began to calm down in the vaginal area almost instantly. Today, no pain whatsoever and I have been sticking to my deep breathing and meditation ever since Friday. Things have calmed down considerably and I feel better. This time having anxiety really scared me to the point of fear playing its ugly role in my world.