Even though I have said good night earlier, I have been having some difficulty getting to sleep because I have a pressing, nagging, and on-going feeling I have been having for a very long time. I am tired and can not really type right now so I am feeling I am making a lot of errors while trying to type, lol. I am not feeling too happy with my friend CSE right now or sympathetic. With me not feeling sympathetic, I do have to admit, I have not been feeling sympathic with or for CSE for quite awhile and after getting a text from her saying that her cat chewed her computer cord damaging it and her also saying that transporting her computer from place to place damaged her computer cord really found my sympathy non-existing period. I am mad at her because she has known, ever since she had gotten her cat, that he chews on cords…that is the big why I am not sympathetic to her computer issues anymore period. How she beats on her laptop and mouse because they act up is annoying and I wish she would not be so cruel to her computer. I am not at all sympathetic to her computer acting up. i have been having an unsympathetic mood towards her a lot lately. her attitude has been ongoing and she seems to not listen to me half the time. That is why I need to make a decision and keep a hold of this decision without backing down and changing my mind again. I need to put my foot down. I feel that CSE has some issues she needs to work out and I can no longer help her. I cannot help her anymore because I have my own issues to work on – my stress has gotten me feeling rather physically drained lately. With what happened, before I had put a block on my wireless router, in the month of May, stress and I have found some major emotional upsets and I have been dealing with an yeast infection. AARRGG!!

So a decision has to be made. I can not back down this time. I have to put my foot down in order to keep myself safe and secure, and comfortable in my own home from now on. I do not want to blame CSE on my emotional upsets between us lately and I am not sure if I am actually blaming her at the moment either. but I do have to really rethink of our friendship now. Things between us have been creeping up since she moved back into the building I also live in and I do have this feeling she should not have come back … she lived in the building and then got married and moved out of the building and came back here in January – something telling me she should not have come back. Hearing that she was coming back made me feel uneasy and my mind and heart was not feeling real good about this. I still feel, six months later, her living here is still not a good idea. I just do not know what to think anymore. I cannot believe her anymore. My heart and mind is not closed totally but I have this feeling that my heart and mind is closing real real fast now – since Monday. I was deeply hurt from our argument on Monday and still feel the hurt … my reaction duly noted was incorrect on top of it and we have both apologized sincerely and forgive each other. She has to gain my trust back entirely now because I DO NOT trust her right now. I have been hurt and burned by people who say are my true friends and come to find out they were not my true friends after all. I have one true friend today and I have my faith and trust in Jesus as well – even though I am constantly reminded that without Him, I can not function on my own entirely. i have to have more faith and trust in Him more at times when my anxiety goes through the roof and I lose control of my world around me… medically and physically more so than anything.

Decision In Profess

I am thinking of changing my password on my wireless router and not giving the “changed” password to CSE. I believe that CSE needs to get her own internet provider and modem/wireless router now and do her family tree research in her own place. I am wondering now if I should allow her computer to be in my home anymore anyway since her beating on her computer and mouse bothers me that much. I NEED TO BE SAFE AND COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN HOME! I CANNOT HAVE ANYMORE STRESS IN MY LIFE. What CSE does to her laptop and mouse is her choice and since it bothers me that much, having her down here to do research should be stopped… I want to change the password for personal reasons now – not wanting anyone to have any access to my wireless modem since I am the one paying for the internet alone here. I have been very frustrated lately. AARRGG!!!

I am ENJOYING my evening here at home alone with Bing Crosby the cat right by me – behind me on the back of the recliner. I had enjoyed my afternoon out and now relaxing for the evening and will go to bed sometime soon. I have KH coming tomorrow to help me with my shower at 8 am because of a conflict this afternoon with two events happening on top of another. I have been watching TV all afternoon – recorded TV shows such as Days of Our Lives, Bold and the Beautiful, Smurfs, Scooby Doo, Night Gallery, and the Flintstones. I have been online on Facebook all afternoon playing Cafe World, Farkle, Frontierville, Farmville, and Farm Town, and other games I am addicted too, lol. Let me put it this way… I am addicted to Facebook. I am on it everyday for hours enjoying myself. I NEED A JOB, lol.

More later…

I got back about 230- 3 p, from grocery shopping – if you consider going to get $13 worth of groceries grocery shopping, lol I do not get my big check until the 3rd of each month unless the 3rd falls on a weekend day. Depending on the weather for Friday afternoon, I will go to the grocery store down the street from here and get other things. I went to Wal-Mart today just to go for a ride and get away from the building for a while.

We have a place called the Rotary Gardens in our city and MCP and I went there to walk around for a while. I saw a lot of flowers and other plant foliage (sp?). It was just beautiful for the walk I had. I even saw several bricks, large and small, with names engraved in them of those who served our country in the services and families having relatives, in loving memory, with names engraved into the bricks.

I enjoyed myself away from the building for a while. Now the rest of the afternoon is all mine. I am not having any company at all the rest of the day and evening.

More later…

A New Day

Today begins a brand new day. For today I have my shower coming shortly, grocery shopping with MCP at 1230 pm, and then we are going to the park. With Memorial Day kind of throwing the week off a little bit for me and a few other people as well, today my showering schedule is back on track. I am getting together with MCP today instead of C because C is on vacation in Florida I believe and J is still on maternity leave until July. So I have C coming on Fridays until then, but today I have MCP instead of Friday this week. A new day brings on more things to do. I am looking forward going to the park with MCP after grocery shopping.

A New Month

I do have to admit that May seemed to have come and gone so quickly as if May did not really exist at all, lol, but it did. A new month, beginning today, has started. Summer is definitely on its way as well. Spring is soon to leave us. The weather has warmed up and it is … … okay with me. I have a summer to look forward to. I just want to get this yeast infection gone real soon … … that’s all. Since a new month has started, I am going to go into decision-making mode once again to change my world to make me continue to be safe and comfortable in my own home and skin. After what happened on Monday and what happened between me and another neighbor gentleman, I have realized since then that I have to make some serious changes in my world around me once more. Today is a good day to start making some changes once more. I NEED TO BE SAFE AND COMFORTABLE IN MY HOME FROM NOW ON AND I DO NOT HAVE TO FEEL UNSAFE AND UNCOMFORTABLE ANYMORE. I AM STILL GROWING!!

My World At the Moment

My world at the moment is waiting for KH to come and it is already 1130! Dang it! I can not have her be late today! I have other plans this afternoon. So at the moment, I am not too happy! KH, just like CSE and other tenants in this building I live in, really make me mad! Real mad! I cannot wait until I leave this shower company and get help from another shower company.

A moment Ago

KH called and told me she will get here as soon as I can and I told her I could not have her late today because I have someone picking me up at 1230 pm this afternoon so we cancelled for today and will continue on Friday. I think I need to find someone else to come and help with my showers because KH seems to be late all the time.

Just Now

KH called me back after talking to the company about having to cancel today and asked me if I would like to have a shower tomorrow at 8 am or later in the afternoon and so I snatched the 8 am slot. I am still wondering if I need to ask for a different shower gal until further notice of leaving this shower company, though. i do not need anymore stress in my life anymore. It brings on yeast infections and other health issues into my life!!! Gotta go and get dressed before MCP gets here. Good bye for now.

A New Day

Today begins a brand new day. For today I have my shower coming shortly, grocery shopping with MCP at 1230 pm, and then we are going to the park. With Memorial Day kind of throwing the week off a little bit for me and a few other people as well, today my showering schedule is back on track. I am getting together with MCP today instead of C because C is on vacation in Florida I believe and J is still on maternity leave until July. So I have C coming on Fridays until then, but today I have MCP instead of Friday this week. A new day brings on more things to do. I am looking forward going to the park with MCP after grocery shopping.

A New Month

I do have to admit that May seemed to have come and gone so quickly as if May did not really exist at all, lol, but it did. A new month, beginning today, has started. Summer is definitely on its way as well. Spring is soon to leave us. The weather has warmed up and it is … … okay with me. I have a summer to look forward to. I just want to get this yeast infection gone real soon … … that’s all. Since a new month has started, I am going to go into decision-making mode once again to change my world to make me continue to be safe and comfortable in my own home and skin. After what happened on Monday and what happened between me and another neighbor gentleman, I have realized since then that I have to make some serious changes in my world around me once more. Today is a good day to start making some changes once more. I NEED TO BE SAFE AND COMFORTABLE IN MY HOME FROM NOW ON AND I DO NOT HAVE TO FEEL UNSAFE AND UNCOMFORTABLE ANYMORE. I AM STILL GROWING!!

My World At the Moment

My world at the moment is waiting for KH to come and it is already 1130! Dang it! I can not have her be late today! I have other plans this afternoon. So at the moment, I am not too happy! KH, just like CSE and other tenants in this building I live in, really make me mad! Real mad! I cannot wait until I leave this shower company and get help from another shower company.

A moment Ago

KH called and told me she will get here as soon as I can and I told her I could not have her late today because I have someone picking me up at 1230 pm this afternoon so we cancelled for today and will continue on Friday. I think I need to find someone else to come and help with my showers because KH seems to be late all the time.

Just Now

KH called me back after talking to the company about having to cancel today and asked me if I would like to have a shower tomorrow at 8 am or later in the afternoon and so I snatched the 8 am slot. I am still wondering if I need to ask for a different shower gal until further notice of leaving this shower company, though. i do not need anymore stress in my life anymore. It brings on yeast infections and other health issues into my life!!! Gotta go and get dressed before MCP gets here. Good bye for now.

A New Day

Today begins a brand new day. For today I have my shower coming shortly, grocery shopping with MCP at 1230 pm, and then we are going to the park. With Memorial Day kind of throwing the week off a little bit for me and a few other people as well, today my showering schedule is back on track. I am getting together with MCP today instead of C because C is on vacation in Florida I believe and J is still on maternity leave until July. So I have C coming on Fridays until then, but today I have MCP instead of Friday this week. A new day brings on more things to do. I am looking forward going to the park with MCP after grocery shopping.

A New Month

I do have to admit that May seemed to have come and gone so quickly as if May did not really exist at all, lol, but it did. A new month, beginning today, has started. Summer is definitely on its way as well. Spring is soon to leave us. The weather has warmed up and it is … … okay with me. I have a summer to look forward to. I just want to get this yeast infection gone real soon … … that’s all. Since a new month has started, I am going to go into decision-making mode once again to change my world to make me continue to be safe and comfortable in my own home and skin. After what happened on Monday and what happened between me and another neighbor gentleman, I have realized since then that I have to make some serious changes in my world around me once more. Today is a good day to start making some changes once more. I NEED TO BE SAFE AND COMFORTABLE IN MY HOME FROM NOW ON AND I DO NOT HAVE TO FEEL UNSAFE AND UNCOMFORTABLE ANYMORE. I AM STILL GROWING!!

My World At the Moment

My world at the moment is waiting for KH to come and it is already 1130! Dang it! I can not have her be late today! I have other plans this afternoon. So at the moment, I am not too happy! KH, just like CSE and other tenants in this building I live in, really make me mad! Real mad! I cannot wait until I leave this shower company and get help from another shower company.

A moment Ago

KH called and told me she will get here as soon as I can and I told her I could not have her late today because I have someone picking me up at 1230 pm this afternoon so we cancelled for today and will continue on Friday. I think I need to find someone else to come and help with my showers because KH seems to be late all the time.

Just Now

KH called me back after talking to the company about having to cancel today and asked me if I would like to have a shower tomorrow at 8 am or later in the afternoon and so I snatched the 8 am slot. I am still wondering if I need to ask for a different shower gal until further notice of leaving this shower company, though. i do not need anymore stress in my life anymore. It brings on yeast infections and other health issues into my life!!! Gotta go and get dressed before MCP gets here. Good bye for now.