Just this afternoon I have been asked to exercise good judgement and be careful around two people who live in our building because of the involvement would devastate my sanity big. What makes this whole thing more difficult is the fact that the very two people are two I care deeply about and consider them surrogate mothers of my life. Yes, the very woman I announced her birthday this morning is one of those people I have to be careful about now – not that I would be considered a troublemaker by association but the idea of why I have to be careful around this one person is because of what she has done to possibly cause her living here to be damaged if she does not keep her nose clean. I am not sure if my association with this person would turn up some noses of those I talk to often here today. It is scary and I have this feeling that my world is – not crumbling per se – a real life soap opera. In other words, watching Bold & the Beautiful, Days of Our Lives, and All My Children are just shows whereas my life is considered a soap opera of reality – not a reality show but it sure feels that my soap opera life should be on TV as there is love, deceit, betrayal, hatred, confusion, and real life problems. No TV show life here – real life.
The other person I was told to exercise good judgement about is KM. I have not trusted her fully since she moved out of the building and moved back into the building 7 months later. Something about her has cued me into believing that trouble is brewing inside her to the point that her world is unstable and anyone involved in a relationship with KM will be judged by association if they are not careful. I have a feeling if she does not keep her nose clean about things she will be causing trouble for herself big time.
My friendships with these two people confuse me hugely. What am I going to do to keep myself sane and occupy my time without these two people in my world. I have feelings of confusion here that makes me wonder if I should have been friends with these two people from day one. It seems that their mental health is questionable lately. I need to worry about my mental health more now than ever before. Why can’t these people leave things be? AARRGG! What am I going to do now? Another AARRGG!
I will be back tomorrow sometime now…