I am starting something different, new moments to me, tomorrow when it comes to writing my thoughts, feelings, and moments at Dear Diary. I have thought of using this a couple of times before but have not been brave to do so because of downloading certain things onto my computer cannot always be trusted. With viruses out there in programs today, I do a lot of research or only download programs that my mom?s husband uses or expresses about a program that my computer OS can and will handle. This is going to be my last Dear Diary journal using my word processor but I intend on keeping up with my journaling every day or pretty close to it anyway. I love it at Dear Diary too much to leave my membership and stop writing my thoughts and feelings, and share my world with the entire world.

Sick and Tired of the Family Drama!!

Why do people have to contend with the past by bringing it up into the future, destroying what of the present that there is for someone? Yes, certain family members do that and do that very well, leaving the present plagued with the past, and letting it rot in their minds and bellies with anger and sadness. That is why I am totally sick and tired of the family drama I have seen, heard, and unfortunately experienced myself grhe powing up and still at times, as an adult, relive because of family not leaving the past where it belongs ? in the past! I am sick and tired of drama altogether and leaving those people behind and moving on in my life without those who live in drama continuously. I do not need to the headaches, sleepless nights, and constant tears, and walking on egg shells is horrible. Having the feeling of having to watch over your shoulder is absolutely crazy and insane, and I have had to look over my shoulder to make sure I was safe everywhere I went. Not having to do that any longer and feeling safe everywhere I go now is such a wonderful feeling. I am also sick and tired of the spies in the family … getting other people to spy on me is an intrusion of my privacy and what I do on line is my business, and now that spying has become an obvious thing of the present now that certain family members call and act like idiots on their end of the line screaming and hollering untruth into my ear on my shows absolutely insanity on their parts and not mind. I am not affected by such actions of what happened today but I can surely say that if anymore calls with unblocked numbers happen again, the authorities will still be notified and the problem will be handled that way. Some people are just plain dumb at times and definitely certain family members are definitely ill and need to be put in an insane asylum. So stop spying on me you idiotic, dead family members!! I will express my thoughts and feelings online anywhere I choose to whether or not you like it so get used to it or stop using the internet yourselves and get paying jobs! Thank you! I am sitting here laughing and chuckling day and night because I know who the idiots are now and it is definitely not me. My life is to damn busy to be on the computer spying on family members or any of my friends 24/7! What assholes some people can be!

The Sounds of London?

I heard sirens, not sure what they were – police, ambulance, fire truck – this afternoon. I thought I was in London when I heard the sirens because the sirens sounded exactly like what emergency vehicles sound in London. I was not taken aback by the sound, but just the thought of being in London at the moment had surprised me a little bit. I did not know what emergency vehicle had their sirens going anjd I did not look out my window to find out because it was not my business to get into but the sirens did sound close enough to be heard clearly, and the sirens did not stop at the building which I was glad. Anytime an ambulance stops here, it is not always very good and everyone wants to know what happened and why. You know … nosy neighbors, lol. The tenants here, except for a few of them who keep to themselves, nothing to do around here unless they are asking questions as to what is going on. I know for a fact that the tenants who are being nosy do not really care what happens. I know the tenants who care about others other than themselves but they will remain nameless and their privacy will not be invaded.

Not Sure Anymore…

I have really liked someone very much and now I am not so sure. I will explain sometime tomorrow or later in the week.

After what happened earlier this afternoon, I do have to admit that my evening was shared with my neighbor and friend CKR once more. We were talking through texting on our cell phones about what happened at my end of the line, and she did ask if I wanted company and if I did, what time. So we shared the supper hour together and shared the evening. Now my evening is drawing to a close and I am gonig to be heading to bed here shortly. Good night and God bless. I wil come back sometime tomorrow.

Today has been a super, great day all day for me. We are now in the early evening hours and I have had my friend CKR come down to help me with a couple of things since I was, literally, unable to do myself because of my lower back aching, and I feel so lazy as usual on the weekends lately. Tonight, for the first time in a while, since the NFC game last week, I will be staying up late to watch a movie with my friend that is airing on CBS tonight titled ?The Lost Valentine? starring Jennifer Love Hewitt and Betty White. I have to watch the movie!!! Love both actresses very much and Betty White is such a welcome in my home on the TV set. With Betty White being the only actress from Golden Girls who is alive ? R.I.P Estelle Getty, Bea Arthur, and Rue Mclanahan, my heart just loves the Golden Girls forever and ever ? still watching the shows in syndication on the Hallmark channel in the mornings and late evenings. CKR are also going to have supper together. Her concoction for supper ? sloppy joe mix with mashed potato and cheese sure sounds interesting and before I say yuck or turn my nose up to it. I have to try it out and that is what we are having for supper tonight. I will have one of my prepared meals for lunch and supper tomorrow then.

Good Night Early Again

Even though I am going to stay up until 10 pm tonight, I am going to say good night early and now because after the movie and CKR leaves, I am going to bed for the night. I will be back sometime tomorrow after my shower and KH leaves. I have no major plans or appointments this week except for my daily living skills Tuesday morning and my meal preparation and grocery shopping on Friday this week, and of course my showers M, W, and Fri. Good night and God bless.

Getting hungry here and I hope CKR hurries it up and gets back here reallllll soon. I will be back tomorrow. I am watching an episode that I recorded Wednesday night ?Blue Bloods? starring Tom Selleck, Len Cariou, and Will Estes!! HURRY UP CKR!!

The Lost Valentine — Hallmark Movie Tonight

Oh my goodness gracious! I am so glad that I stayed up late to watch the Hallmark movie on CBS tonight starring Betty White and Jennifer Love Hewitt but the one thing that really drives me a little crazy is the fact that i have to stay up a little while before retiring for the rest of the night because…having been crying, tearing, and wondering why the movie such a tear jerker! There was no such a thing of a dry eye in the household tonight. Between me and CKR, tonight, we were both affected by the story that The Lost Valentine sent forth on the TV airwaves tonight, and I have heard about the movie itself for a few days on The Talk talk show starring Leah, Holly, sharon, and Sara last week while Jennifer Love Hewitt and Betty White both were guests.

Good Night Early

Since I have been up since 5 am this morning, I do have to admit that I am getting tired. I did doze off in the recliner chair for a while between 3 and 6 pm. Getting up between 445 and 730 am every morning since January 20th, has been a great joy for me because then I have a longer day and a little more time during the day before and after my showers three times a week, my daily living skills on Tuesdays, and meal preparation and grocery shopping day. I am going to say good night and God bless now and come back tomorrow sometime to write more. It has been a wonderful day all day long. I am looking forward to tomorrow as well. Good night and God bless! Everyone sleep well tonight – or have a very good day.

5 AM

Went to bed by 9 pm last night and then not knowing what time I had actually fallen asleep but the need to know what time I had fallen asleep is not necessary to know anyway. I had slept my allotted 8 hours of sleep and woke up at 5 a.m. or so and have been up since. I have had my breakfast of yogurt this morning – blackberry and pomegranate today that was very, very tasty and good. I am up for the day now and lazing around comfortably and will probably take a nap right in my recliner today but I am not totally sure of that yet. I may have awakened at 5 am but I am not totally awake yet at an hour later. Today is going to be a very good day for me all day long.

A Thought From the Past

Okay, why can I not let some uncomfortable memories go and leave me alone these days. While I was writing the words ‘tasty’ and ‘good’, I thought about ‘The Bitch’ who is married to my brother who always say that certain words were babyish and I need to stop talking like a damn baby. Honestly, that woman my brother is married to is really abusive and nasty to me and has a cold heart. I could not say ‘yum’ or ‘yummy’ in front of ‘The Bitch’ because the words were babyish to her. How rude and mean she was and always will be. I hope I never see her ugly, mean face ever again, and I do wish my brother would divorce her and wise up that his marrying her was a BIG mistake. His wife is one reason why I will never marry and remain single but then again the right man has not shown up in my world yet. Anyway, at my age, I am very much set in my ways and I do not take to change very well but have taken changes a little better lately in the past several weeks before 2010 left us because I pretty much had to. Having my brother and his family back in my life again would be a BIG change and definitely not a wise choice. My brother, sorry to say it this way, can go to hell. He has been spying on me on the internet. What a jackass!! I am so glad they are out of my life now and forever. I will speak the truth about my brother and never will I accept his apology any time soon or ever. I really hate my brother who I did once really love but now since the idiot is married to an abusive wife, nothing is going to be of our brother/sister relationship ever again. Never!! If they ever call, AFTER spying on me online, then, they will be having police knocking at their damn front door. Yes, I am still royally pissed at them for disowning the family in AR and NM. ‘The Bitch’ is a one sick puppy dog!

Today

I am going to lazy about all day comfortably. I am going to eat three meals a day, watch Live and recorded TV programming on my DVR box, read from the 4th book of Harry Potter: The Goblet of Fire, play games online at Facebook, and have a quiet day all day long. Even though I feel I have sleep pretty good, I did get up often during the night with things on my mind – my jackass brother and his abusive wife on my mind once again….damn fools they are…and got comfortable once again and fell back to sleep. I really hate it when my brother comes into focus in my mind because he is yet, even though no communication has been happening for about 2 to 3 years now, he is still my brother by blood. I wish I never had a damn brother. I wish it was only me and my sister!! Now it is since the creep of a brother of mine and his damn abusive wife disowned me, my parents in NM, and my parents in AR, and my sister in KS. Grow up, TK….you BITCH! I WILL SHARE WHAT I WANT ON THE INTERNET BECAUSE I WILL ALWAYS BE HONEST WITH MY WORDS, THOUGHTS, AND FEELINGS AT EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE AND WORLD WEATHER OR NOT YOU LIKE IT. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR SPIES AND YOU SPYING ON MY WORLD AND LIFE BECAUSE YOU DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO BUT DESTROY AND ABUSE OTHER PEOPLE BEHIND THEIR BACKS. YEAH, TK, I AM NO DUMMY AND KNOW WHAT MENTAL ABUSE IS AND I HAVE HEARD ENOUGH CRAP COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH ABOUT YOUR OWN CHILDREN AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS. WHEN I FEEL THE NEED TO TELL OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, IT WILL BE TOLD AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO EVER MAKE A LIAR OUT OF ME ANYMORE. WE ALL KNOW YOU DAMN GAME NOW. YOU ARE THE LIAR AND ABUSER. YØU BITCH! GET A DAMN LIFE! YOIU MENTAL DEFECT! BITCH! GO TO HELL WITH MY BROTHER!

Almost Afternoon

There is about 50 minutes left before the noon hour finally gets here. My morning has been very good and nice so far. I do have to admit one very important thing about this morning, though. I said that I was not going to text or answer the phone to anyone today but a dear friend of mine needed to vent so we texted one another this morning for a couple of hours. My friend is having a frustrating time right now in her life because so much has been going on lately in her life. I do feel for my friend … understand what my friend is going through right now without going into it and broadcasting what her frustrations are all over the internet for other people to see and cause havoc between her and I.. Actually, my friend’s name or initials are not going to be shared as privacy is to be respected all the time. Even if I did use her name or initials, I would not feel right emotionally about sharing such private information with other people even though my life and world is shared here at Dear Diary on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly here. I do not remember when I began to be a diarist here at the moment, either, but that is irrelevant anyway. Anyway, with the afternoon almost here now, I do have to say that it has been a fine, good, nice morning of relaxation of watching TV, being online all morning and so forth. I have yet to read a little of Harry Potter: The Goblet of Fire yet today. I haven’t yet, lol. I am surprised.
I will write another entry later in the day, in a long while. Later…