I have been thinking about my friendship with CKR and how I feel it has been a lie the second time around. I realized that, the past couple of days now, what has been holding my feelings hostage, and what I am about to say has been holding my feelings hostage will shock anyone. At the beginning of our friendship, not knowing the truth about CKR at the time, I had given her my spare key for my apartment so when she came and the door was locked, she could let herself in without me having to get up so much when the pain was so great and walking was tougher. I have to get my spare key back!!!!

My day was a good day. I feel tired and so I am going to log off the computer for the night here shortly. Tonight is not going to be a late night tonight. I am going to bed early tonight and before falling asleep, I am going to watch some recorded television programs. I did get a phone call from CKR and a knock on my door earlier but did not answer the phone or the knock on my door. I am still not in the mood to see her yet. I am still not happy with her about going behind my back to a friend of mine – JSL – to be told to stay out of CKR’s business. I have, in a way and after thinking about it, staying out of her business has been nothing but asking her honest questions, and so her telling my friend JSL to stay out of CKR’s business is to stay out of her life. I am working on getting my spare key back from her so NO ONE has a spare key of mine anymore. I know who my true friends are and that is all that matters.

My Afternoon

Not a whole lot going on this afternoon here in the household. Bing is napping in my power chair while I watch TV, work/write on/in my journal(s), and thinking of doing some reading today as well. Things are quiet in the front and it is going to stay that way for the day. I am still pain-free, a record of 3 weeks now I believe as of today. I have some aches but it is not joint pain from my contractures due to having a condition called cerebral palsy (CP). Anyway, I feel pretty good physically.

Thoughts About Yesterday

Cleaning

Every Tuesday, for the most part anyway, I have LB, my LSW (Living Skills Worker) come and help me with the cleaning of my home. Yesterday, with the bathroom cleaned, laundry washed, bathroom and kitchen floors swept, and a couple of shelves moved from one spot to another to give my place a little more room to move about, I was so glad it was done as planned. I did wake up and did not want to move the two shelves from one spot to another but LB made it easier for me by saying that I was not going to move them, and so I let it go at that. I had awakened with a stuffy nose and the beginnings of a cold, or allergies. I did not want to cancel her coming over because I wanted to go to my afternoon appointment that was counseling. If I cancelled LB coming over for the day, I would have had cancelled my counseling appointment with PS as well. Anyway, I stuck to my guns and kept both appointments for the day. After LB and I got done cleaning and had done what we had planned for this week’s cleaning spree, I did feel lots better.

Counseling

All I can say about my counseling appointment with PS yesterday is … It went well!

More later

I have no major plans for tomorrow. I am having my shower in the morning. Weather is going to be good and so I will probably go to a prayer meeting/gathering down the street. No major plans anyway.

Today LB, my Living Skills Worker, came by to help clean my apartment. LB cleaned the bathroom and swept the bathroom and kitchen floors, vacuumed, moved my small book shelf and CD/DVD shelf, and my recliner, and helped me with a load of laundry. I feel we got a lot done today, too. After my laundry was done and LB brought it to my apartment, she left, leaving me to own my devices.

A little before 1 p.m., I was picked up for my 1 p.m. appointment with my counselor PS. From 1 to 2 p.m., I had my counseling appointment. Everything was discussed — especially what happened Saturday.

I was home before 3 p.m. and after getting home, I took the rest of the afternoon to watch TV and do some journaling

My life continues to change.

My life continues to change.

I am done with CKR for good now. I have come to the conclusion that she is not the friend she professed to be for the 2nd time. Her moving into the building was a bad idea and she should not have come back here. Having someone do her dirty work was not the greatest idea on her part … afraid to come to me herself when she does not even KNOW me anymore. She never knew me. What hurts worse is the fact that she lies to me on top of our relationship/friendship from the beginning to the end – yesterday – she is out of my life. I do not have people like her in my life anymore for personal reasons. I am going to have to walk away from her entirely too and let her live her life without me. I am very hurt by what she has done. CKR does not exist anymore.

I Did It!

I am not ashamed of having done this…

I went to AT&T’s website and went to “Smart Limits” and had CKR’s phone number blocked from calling or texting me from this day forward. I had called someone last night and she returned my call earlier, and I told her what happened yesterday evening, and then asked her if she and Kathie could get my spare key from CKR, and the neighbor said she would or Kathie would get my key back. I am DONE with CKR for good now. I do not know when I will be getting my spare key but when I do, I will get it back.

As of today, I also blocked CKR and her ex-husband JR from Facebook, without regretting doing so. I am done with CKR and I had to do it.

Plans for the Day

I have no major plans for the day whatsoever. I am going to be lazy and stay in my pajamas all day long. i am watching recorded TV programming on my cable’s DVR system, and I am planning on reading some of my “Dating Game” by Danielle Steel later, but I am not totally sure. I did not sleep well last night because my heart ached so bad and I felt hurt and angry from CKR’s actions! Right now I awake but I do not know for how long, lol My plans for the day are of the spur of the moment plans!

CKR is no longer on my facebook page or is her ex-husband JR. I also have her phone number blocked from being able to call or text me ever again. I am walking away from her and will not have anything to do with her anymore. She has stepped over the line when she went to one of my best friends of my world to do her dirty work for her.